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Original poster

PIL and Christmas

156 replies

MrsGaryKielhofner · 21/12/2013 19:35

It's a Christmas and PIL one! Sorry!

Have two DC aged 7 and 5. This will be the first Christmas we have spent with PIL since DC1 was a small.

Today, MIL said that the plan is presents are to be opened just before lunch when SIL (child free) arrives. DH said he thought Santa's presents should be in the morning . MIL was unhappy and apparently expressed some concern about what time DC will get up. PIL are not early risers.

DH and I are planning on sticking to our guns and putting Santa's presents out when we go to bed. We will tell DC no earlier than 6.30 but then open presents.

So, is it unreasonable to do this or do others leave ALL presents to later in the day? Family presents will be done when SIL arrives.

Also, should we wait for PIL to get up if we do morning presents? If we do it will be after 7 and DC will be climbing the walls. (A pre 6am wake up isn't unusual on a normal day!)

OP posts:
Writerwannabe83 · 21/12/2013 19:59

When I was growing up we were allowed one present when we woke up (the one that 'Santa' had left for us) and then we had to wait until about 3pm to open the rest. Can't say we ever minded waiting....

FortyMerryFuckers · 21/12/2013 20:00

Honestly I wouldn't be waiting if they want to see them open presents they get up early it's once a year I'm sure one early morning won't kill them.

pumpkinsweetie · 21/12/2013 20:00

It is very unfair of your pil to expect young children to wait until lunchtime to open gifts!
Could there be a compromise of say 8am, as 6:30 is very very early?

FixItUpChappie · 21/12/2013 20:00

I will qualify that mine are young enough to not quite get what's going on...if they were older I'd say have at it at the frack of dawn! Stockings at very least.

friday16 · 21/12/2013 20:04

Moral: don't spend Christmas with miserable sods who are more interested in being controlling than letting kids be kids. Stay at home next year and do it the way you want to, rather than being pushed around by elderly bored.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 21/12/2013 20:05

Why does mil want them to wait unil SIL arrives to open ALL their gifts?

Original poster
MrsGaryKielhofner · 21/12/2013 20:07

I think maybe we will have to load the iPad with a film or something. I can guarantee they will be awake before 6. They know that family presents will be later in the day but have always had Santa's presents first thing.

Both DC are only expecting one Santa present as that is all they put on the list so we could do the rest later on, however there has been "talk" in school about Santa so it could be out last year for DC1 so wanted to make the most of it.

OP posts:
VesuviusPoovius · 21/12/2013 20:09

What is it to them when your DC open the presents that you have got for them?

MissBeehiving · 21/12/2013 20:10

Half the fun and excitement of Christmas for children and me is opening stockings in bed at 6am in the morning. Why on earth would anyone be sniffy about that?!

I try to keep grandparent presents for when the grandparents are around to see them opened but the rest are opened no later than mid morning.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 21/12/2013 20:11

This is quite likely to be the last year that your 7 yo believes in FC.
Do what you want. Don't spoil it just to suit your ILs.

FionasFatFairy · 21/12/2013 20:13

Last year DS got into our bed at about 8 am. At 8.30 he went to wake his sisters.

We open our stockings in bed, then go downstairs, breakfast, get the dinner started, then we open resents, probably at about 11 ish.

MissBeehiving · 21/12/2013 20:13

I had my own childhood Christmases dominated by elderly relatives habits and rules, which did rather put a dampener of the "magic" of it all.

Original poster
MrsGaryKielhofner · 21/12/2013 20:14

Don't really know why we are waiting for SIL. I suppose so we can open everything all together.

I am not even thinking about lunch. Normal
Sunday lunch is 2 hours plus where everyone stays at the table and make polite chat. Great at 39 not so
Interesting for a 5 year old when no toys are allowed at the table.

DH has started to rebel and let DC leave the table when they and everyone else has finished and we are just sat chatting. This has not gone down well either.

OP posts:
BackforGood · 21/12/2013 20:15

Just be sure they know that when they wake up, they bring their stocking {quietly} in to you, and don't disturb Grandparents. Open what Father Christmas has brought then, then snuggle down quietly together either chatting or playing with said presents, and don't disturb rest of house until a more reasonable time. then open presents from rest of family when SiL comes.

Littlemisstax · 21/12/2013 20:16

We do stockings first thing (7.30 ish) then tree presents after lunch. I was brought up doing this and have now converted DH's family. We also open presents one at a time rather than a 2 minute ripping session. DD(3) and DN(2) cope as they don't know any different. Baby DS won't care.

I have put some little craft kits in DDs stocking for her to do on Christmas morning.

Snowdown · 21/12/2013 20:18

We do stocking presents first, for maybe an hour, then downstairs for Santa presents...all other gifts from relatives etc get opened after lunch. Dcs like having something to look forward to.

HoHolepew · 21/12/2013 20:18

I remember me and my brother getting up at 3 in the morning one Christmas. We opened everything then went back to bed. Our parents never heard us get up and were very confused to why we weren't rushing in to wake them up in the morning Xmas Grin.

pictish · 21/12/2013 20:18

Not very child orientated huh? Confused

Well...that's up to them...but no way should you let it mar your kids Christmas.

HoHolepew · 21/12/2013 20:19

I'd rush out and buy them trumpets so they can play quietly until the PIL are up Grin.

EST0106 · 21/12/2013 20:21

Surely you're waiting or for SIL because Christmas is about exchanging gifts (along with lots of other things obviously) not a mad race to get everything opened as soon as humanly possible?
When I was growing up we did stockings in the morning (just little things), then rest of presents (all the good stuff) after lunch, about. 3/4 ish. Yes it was a bit annoying having to wait but the bright side was I always felt smug that I still had stuff to open when we saw friends at 10am who had done the lot!! DD is only 2.5 so biddable and we won't be doing any presents until 11 ish with a glass of bubbly, I know it won't be this civilised for ever, but fingers crossed it will be for a couple more years?

EarSlaps · 21/12/2013 20:21

Wow, sounds like a fun Christmas Hmm.

PILs need to respect your family traditions and try and meet you halfway. Isn't the whole point of stockings to give children something to keep them quiet until the adults have woken up properly?

Compromise- stockings, Santa presents and presents from you whenever you normally would at home. Other presents when SIL arrives. If the grandparents are worried about when the children will be up then get them some ear plugs! Delaying the presents wouldn't make them wake up later anyway.

ChestnutsroastingintheFireligh · 21/12/2013 20:22

We've always made ours wait until after 6am to open stockings (as I'm not a morning person).

Then it's a quick breakfast & present opening after that. There's no way I'd make them wait. If we were staying in someone's house then id do presents in our bedroom if the in laws don't want to be woken

It's Xmas - let children be children!

TheRealAmandaClarke · 21/12/2013 20:22

Trumpets yes.
And maybe a drum.

And stay at home next year.

phantomnamechanger · 21/12/2013 20:22

this is why we always have christmas at home and we can do what WE want OUR way. first thing is stockings with everyon piled into our bed, santas gift, breakfast, church (with gift to show) then if we are having any other family over for lunch they are not to arrive till one hour after we get back from church to give me time for a coffee and getting organised in the kitchen. then the rest of the presents are spread throughout the day really, some while I am cooking lunch and some after.

Original poster
MrsGaryKielhofner · 21/12/2013 20:24

HoHo...that would certainly solve the problem!

I think I may suggest Santa's stocking and main gift is left in our room rather than downstairs to PIL so as not to disturb them and see what they say?

we have bought and wrapped PILs presents to DC so could just say sod off and have a 5am present orgy.

OP posts: