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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think some people try FAR too hard with teacher Xmas presents?

133 replies

weddingballsup · 20/12/2013 19:54

DD took in a present for her teacher today - a large tin of gingerbread we made together and decorated nicely and I thought even that was heading to the 'too much' side but her teacher has been exceptional and really made a difference to dd, which I've told her before, so it seemed fitting.

Then dd came home and told me one boy in her class had brought in a case of 6 bottles each (she didn't know if it was wine or champagne) for both the teacher and the TA!! I know full well it's up to each parent what they do but surely that's just ridiculous? Considering it's a very 'bog standard' school, not a 'Mail-worthy' competitive private school.

Anyone else seen some 'trying too hard' efforts?

OP posts:
brokenhearted55a · 20/12/2013 19:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NorthernLebkuchen · 20/12/2013 19:58

I don't get them anything for Christmas. They get a gift in the summer if they've been good.

Original poster
weddingballsup · 20/12/2013 19:59

Absolutely - my mum used to teach secondary and would often get a bunch of flowers from the oldest class (so having their last Christmas) who'd have all clubbed together and even that was a bit of a 'wow' thing, not the norm. And dd's only in primary!

OP posts:
gertrudetrain · 20/12/2013 20:04

I've stopped doing xmas presents for teachers since a primary teacher on here said she got so much 'tat' she regifted it all.

I do give an end of year gift, though only if the dc's have reached their personal targets though Grin

OldRoan · 20/12/2013 20:05

Speaking as someone who gets the bus to school, I would be much more appreciative of gingerbread than something I couldn't get home!

Websites like MN do a LOT of good, but I can't help thinking they have a lot to answer for in terms of competitive present giving, because everyone gives everyone else ideas/makes them panic.

I got several boxes of chocolates, some cards, and some hand drawn pictures. Already palmed the chocolates off to my family. I don't want to be ungrateful, but I've spent all term trying to lose weight and I don't want to undo it overnight.

Coconutty · 20/12/2013 20:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CSIJanner · 20/12/2013 20:08

My DC's nursery staff each received a bottle of bolly each one year as the preschoolers moved onto school. Each! They were lucky that year as usually when the nursery receive large presents, the manager puts it into a large pot to divvy up later on the year.

mistermakersgloopyglue · 20/12/2013 20:09

Yabu, I got some great presents today, best haul ever I think Grin

Seriously though, really don't worry about what you got the teacher, if anything at all, they really will not mind either way. The gingerbread sounds lovely by the way!

cjdamoo · 20/12/2013 20:11

I dont usually do gifts for teachers, have been known to send a nice thank you card if a teacher was good with one of my kids at the end of the school year.

This year however my Kindy lad had two awesome teachers who have really helped him settle into school life. So we made them each an "I'm a kindy teacher, whats your super power? tea towel. Ds made them each a card.

They were really well recieved.

hazeyjane · 20/12/2013 20:13

Maybe it is just up to the individual, and it isn't about being competitive. I have no idea what other people gave the teachers.

Dh and I gave a bottle of champagne to each of the staff at ds's preschool, I took it in when there were no other parents there, it wasn't to be competitive.

Preciousbane · 20/12/2013 20:17

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ItsBiggerOnTheInside · 20/12/2013 20:19

The thoughtful gifts are the nicest to get, not the most expensive.

VampireRabbit · 20/12/2013 20:20

My DSsis was given an Ipad Mini! Apparently the parent won it and already had one. And DSis doesn't really like tablets so gave it to me. I can't believe anyone looks at an IPad and thinks that giving it to the teacher is a good idea. eBay, fgs.

breatheslowly · 20/12/2013 20:21

I took half a case of wine into nursery once as a present for staff (admittedly that was a bottle each). It might have looked OTT, but DH had won it at work and we don't really drink, so it wasn't that generous.

I remember a colleague (not in teaching) being given a case of champagne from an ultra-wealthy client as an apology for him having been a complete arse. While she accepted gracefully, she commented to me "that's like me telling you to fuck off and then giving you a mars bar".

No gifts are expected at all. While homemade gifts are lovely (the time and effort means a lot), if you can't do a homemade gift then a gift that reflects your financial circumstances seems appropriate. If the boy's parents are minted then a £5 bottle of wine is actually a bit mean.

RenterNomad · 20/12/2013 20:23

We did a class collection, which allowed us to buy vouchers for the teacher and support staff. Although the total amount was big, contributions weren't competitive, and the joint nature of the present meant we weren't bribing anyone to favour one child! Smile

hazeyjane · 20/12/2013 20:25

Just because something is expensive doesn't mean it isn't heartfelt, that is just inverse snobbery!

Expensive, homemade, shop bought....whatever, it is the thought behind the gift that matters.

DingDongHairyPOnHigh · 20/12/2013 20:26

Breathe you are joking aren't you? Hmm

Wiifitmama · 20/12/2013 20:27

I am a tutor not a teacher but get given Christmas presents by the kids. One family last year got me a Mont Blanc pen. Same family this year got me a gold necklace and earrings set worth £650. I was equally thrilled by the little bag of homemade truffles from one child :) And I was truthfully much happier by the comment (in broken English) from the family which gave me the extravagant gifts about how "pleased" they are by me than by the gifts themselves.

persimmon · 20/12/2013 20:28

I teach at a very 'posh' school and have had some staggeringly expensive gifts over the years..but the one that always comes to mind first is the big bunch of flowers that a mother had picked from her garden and tied with a ribbon for me. It really is the though that counts. And if you don't want to give a gift, then don't.

persimmon · 20/12/2013 20:28

thought

NewtRipley · 20/12/2013 20:28

Shit

I didn't bake a cake. I am crap

givemeaclue · 20/12/2013 20:29

Sure they loved the wine, not over the top at all, may have only cost ten pounds for 3 at Asda! It isn't a competition and your baking also sounds lovely and you put in a lot of effort. Its Chrismas why not give a treat to the person who spends 25-30 hours per week educating your child, and why gripe about whatother people giveyabu and petty

Hexbugsmakemeitch · 20/12/2013 20:30

I give a

MrsWeasley · 20/12/2013 20:31

I work in a school (not a teacher) and I value all the gifts I am lucky to receive. I have been very lucky and have some lovely gifts including some beautiful things made by the children themselves (Beautiful because the children made them.) and some lovely shop bought items. I would never re-gift or be ungrateful. But I would find it embarrassing to be given a crate of wine to be totally honest. Perhaps they are trying to tell everyone something Wine Xmas Wink

Hexbugsmakemeitch · 20/12/2013 20:33

I give a plant in summer and a Christmas tree decoration at Christmas. I like to show a wee bit of appreciation for their hard work but try to buy things that won't take up too much space or break anyone's diet.

I'm not personally comfortable sending my children into school with alcohol.

I have to say though- I have no idea what anyone else sent in - how do you even know?

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