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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think some people try FAR too hard with teacher Xmas presents?

133 replies

weddingballsup · 20/12/2013 19:54

DD took in a present for her teacher today - a large tin of gingerbread we made together and decorated nicely and I thought even that was heading to the 'too much' side but her teacher has been exceptional and really made a difference to dd, which I've told her before, so it seemed fitting.

Then dd came home and told me one boy in her class had brought in a case of 6 bottles each (she didn't know if it was wine or champagne) for both the teacher and the TA!! I know full well it's up to each parent what they do but surely that's just ridiculous? Considering it's a very 'bog standard' school, not a 'Mail-worthy' competitive private school.

Anyone else seen some 'trying too hard' efforts?

OP posts:

jamdonut · 20/12/2013 20:39

I'm sure the gingerbread was more highly thought of.

Today I was given a mini box of celebrations, a box of dairy-milk, and a watch (not an expensive one - just a few pounds, but the little girl who gave it to me knew mine had been chewed by my puppy, and that I was carrying it around in my pocket, so it was a very thoughtful present!) and a Hama beads "shape" (not quite sure what shape it was...) made by another little girl. I love it when children give me things they've made.

Very touched and grateful for any gifts I receive, as I certainly don't expect them, as a TA. I always make sure I thank the parents for anything I receive, too.

FrequentFlyerRandomDent · 20/12/2013 20:41

Our class reps collected some cash from us all in September for class Christmas presents, end of year, etc.

I was surprised to see kids turning up with a second round of Christmas presents for their teacher on the top of the group one. My DCs gave a card.

It never ends.

GoldenGytha · 20/12/2013 20:41

I just used to give the teachers a card at Christmas, and some flowers picked from the garden at the end of the school year.

Someone I knew used to sneer at this, and go out of her way to buy the teachers expensive jewellry, loudly telling everyone that her gift was so much better than theirs.

NewtRipley · 20/12/2013 20:45

Golden

But here we have the reverse - the OP being the one to question the expensive gift and imply her gift was better.

It's not a competition

WooWooOwl · 20/12/2013 20:49

I'm another that works in a school and I agree that it really is the thought that counts.

I've been given all sorts of things by children and their families over the years, and it is always a true delight that is very much appreciated.

I'm going to say a collective thank you to all the parents that take the time think about it at all. So thank you, all gifts and cards are bloody lovely!

gingerbead · 20/12/2013 20:53

DF just got 3 bottles of wine and a lot of choc! We don't drink wine but hosting Xmas so will come in handy! Choc currently being eaten!

The kids said thank you to him today, means a lot!

kungfupannda · 20/12/2013 21:03

I forgot it was the last day of term today.

I'm like the Scrooge of DS1's primary school. I will be visited tonight by the ghosts of snubbed teachers, past present and future, and have to promise to get up tomorrow and go dancing through the village, yelling "God bless us, everyone!"

Of course, DS1's teacher doesn't live in the village, so that really won't help. But it might at least entertain the neighbours...

M0naLisa · 20/12/2013 21:14

I sent in a bottle of wine for both teachers. They were over the moon to recieve something

zipzap · 20/12/2013 21:24

I got microwave soup mugs as I know that at ds2's school the oven in the staff room is broken but there is a microwave so thiswill mean they can have soup if they want.

I also added a festive popping candy Freddo frog as the dc like them and thought it was funny, and not a massive chocolatey thing to derail a diet!

I hope the teachers will like their presents and find them useful; I suspect they might think wtf is this big plastic mug if they haven't come across them before!

HappyMummyOfOne · 20/12/2013 21:25

Given most teachers wont eat home made items, we have always avoided them.

DS chose some fab items this year after letting him loose on Amazon. Most had a personal touch and am sure they will be well received on christmas day. Given that the staff are all a huge part of his daily life, i do put a lot of effort into their gifts.

Cakesorpies · 20/12/2013 22:41

Wow, I am lucky to get a thank you card and a box of chocs in the summer, maybe 3 out of a class of 28.
On here a lot of parents seem to think that all teachers expect this are are rolling in expensive gifts, we don't at all. For me a thank you will do but sadly we rarely get that either. Maybe I needs to go and work at a 'naice' school full of mumsnetters. But then again given the number of threads about teachers on here maybe I am better off where I am!
I suppose it is all about how much the parents respect and are grateful of the job we do but at the end of the day a heartfelt thank you and a homemade card really shows that you appreciate the job we do.

Flibbertyjibbet · 20/12/2013 22:52

After a thread on here last year where some teachers said what they like to receive, ours got handmade cardsand some hhighlighters and post it notes.

From the pound shop, wonder if the teachers will consider those gifts appropriate to our income....

Flibbertyjibbet · 20/12/2013 22:53

After a thread on here last year where some teachers said what they like to receive, ours got handmade cardsand some hhighlighters and post it notes.

From the pound shop, wonder if the teachers will consider those gifts appropriate to our income....

Mim78 · 20/12/2013 22:55

Thank god the mums in our class did a whip round for some vouchers!

MissDuke · 20/12/2013 22:59

I really love my daughter's current teacher, and she is getting intensive maths help one to one with another fantastic teacher. So I gave them a little parcel of home made baked goods and a voucher. I don't really care what anyone else thinks, I didn't tell any other parent what I bought and didn't ask dd what others bought, it is between me and the teachers! They deserve a treat!

gwenniebee · 20/12/2013 23:04

I am very fortunate to have just started in a lovely school, and I was amazed by the number of boxes of chocs I have come home with :) I agree with the others, though, who say that a heartfelt thank you and a nice comment in a card is one of the best presents you can get.

Although the bag that says "Gwenniebee is the best teacher according to Little Jimmy" is awsome!!

AnitaManeater · 20/12/2013 23:06

DD gave each if her teachers and the TAs a box of malteasers each. I won't be upset if they pass them on as it was worth the £4 in total to see the pleasure on DDs face when she handed them out.

DS took a big tin of Foxes Biscuits into preschool for them all to share.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 20/12/2013 23:06

I took in a bottle of wine for both dds teachers. I went to the lovely wine shop in town and asked for a nice wine for a friend. I put a bit of thought into it!

LynetteScavo · 20/12/2013 23:09

I have taken in a bottle of Champagne at Christmas, and a big bouquet of flowers on the teachers birthday.

I don't think other parents were aware I did so, but it was purely because my DC was a "challenging" child, and I was just grateful any teacher was turned up each day and attempted to teach him.

Borntorun25 · 20/12/2013 23:29

I think it's nice to give a small gift and try to think of something useful that won't derail diets. I bought some nice hand cream this year but both DSs decided they wanted to give a Terry's chocolate orange instead, in their eyes this is clearly much more desirable than some girly cream stuff! I do feel for the teachers who get loads of chocolates and I won't mind at all if the teachers 'recycle' gifts, I do all the time. I have no idea what other parents give, but it wouldn't change what I feel comfortable with.

tracypenisbeaker · 20/12/2013 23:37

You dont know what lengths the teacher has gone to to help someones child- sometimes people go the extra mile in their role to help someone and perhaps those gifts are just a small token of gratitude. There are some stars out there, even if havent had first hand experience of them. Of course there are competitive people out there who want to splashout to get noticed, but there are times when you just want to give teachers/ doctors/ nurses/ midwives/ counsellors/ friends the world.

Backtobedlam · 20/12/2013 23:38

Its not a competition if you're not competing. Personally wine is my fall back if I have no idea what to get but want to give something, I think home baking and decorating your own gingerbread is far more than just nipping to the shop for some wine. Try not to worry what others are doing, as long as you and DC are happy with your gift I'm sure the teacher will be to.

youaremychocolatecake · 20/12/2013 23:51

I tend to make something with my little boy like a Christmas decoration each but I like crafting :) this year I bought them hand stamped key rings as I have not long had a baby so not much spare time. They were £5 each. I try and keep the budget low but choose something thoughtful.

Whathaveiforgottentoday · 20/12/2013 23:56

I give wine and DD makes a card. I think the card is DD saying thanks and the wine is me saying thanks. She's a NQT so i'm assuming she needs a large glass of wine by now.

HeGrewWhiskersOnHisChin · 21/12/2013 00:05

I work in a school in a very nice area and got some very generous gifts from the parents.

My DC go to a school in a not very nice area.

As we are struggling financially at the moment, and because I needed to get my DC's teachers and TAs presents, I sent DP in to their school this morning with the lovely gifts I had received.

He said that he got a few comments from other parents about the extravagance of our gifts, but we only gave what we did as it meant we didn't have to spend any money.

Not saying that the teachers didn't deserve any thing, but at least this way we got to show our appreciation.

It's the thought that counts after all!

And I am eternally grateful to my parents and their thoughtful gifts, and only regifted due to financial problems not because I thought it was 'useless tat' !

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