To think some people try FAR too hard with teacher Xmas presents?

[weddingballsup]

DD took in a present for her teacher today - a large tin of gingerbread we made together and decorated nicely and I thought even that was heading to the 'too much' side but her teacher has been exceptional and really made a difference to dd, which I've told her before, so it seemed fitting.

Then dd came home and told me one boy in her class had brought in a case of 6 bottles each (she didn't know if it was wine or champagne) for both the teacher and the TA!! I know full well it's up to each parent what they do but surely that's just ridiculous? Considering it's a very 'bog standard' school, not a 'Mail-worthy' competitive private school.

Anyone else seen some 'trying too hard' efforts?

I never open gifts from the kids in front if them. I say thank you and then open them at home on Christmas Eve. DH writes the name if the child and the gift down so I can write personalised thank you notes. I have had all sorts of gifts over the years and I'm very grateful for it all. If I have an awful lot of chocolates then some will end up in the staff room not because I think they are a rubbish gift but because I have too many.

This year we bought my daughter's nursery teacher toiletries and the Royal Mail Christmas stamp pack/gift ( she collects stamps). We also bought the support teacher attached to her group a scarf and biscuits. On the 1st DD took a box of chocolates in for the staff with a note attached thanking them for all their hard work and saying this was a wee something to see them through December. We also gave gifts to her swimming, dancing and Enjoy A Ball teachers. Yes we pay for all these things but I believe it's important to let people know you appreciate them, whether by note or gift. When DD was born we any flowers to our Consultant and mw. I had a high risk of after a stillbirth and they kept us sane.

I had two bottles amongst my presents as a secondary teacher. I don't really think there is a 'done thing'. It's what ever you feel you you want to do to show any appreciation you have.

I am afraid the teachers got a bottle of wine each. I am sorry if that is not acceptable. They seemed happy enough 11

I agree weddingballsup, I was referring to your opening paragraph where you said that your gingerbreads were heading to the "too much" side.

homebythesea my parents are medics and always get loads of gifts from patients. Booze, chocolates, food hampers. All sorts.

This is why i don't buy any of my dcs teachers a gift, there is too much competition, so much so it's best not to buy atall than feel embarrassed that a box of chocs doesn't match up to some of the ridiculious highly priced gifts some competitive mums bring in!

What happened to a simple thoughful gift?

Adverts like the one where a teen boy buys his teacher an electric razor don't help the situation!

I am really surprised by the comment that teachers don't want to eat homemade biscuits/gifts. That would never ever occur to me.

I sometimes give a bottle of wine from DH's hometown to the teachers, as it is something a bit different.

I too love all the homemade foodie gifts from children. Of course I eat them!

If I'm going to be giving gifts to my binmen, postie and newspaper boy for Boxing Day, then I'm definitely giving a gift to the teachers who work so hard on my DCs behalf.

I also think that people are far too worried about what other people are doing. Do what feels appropriate for you and stop trying to undermine other people's choices - it isn't kind.

As a secondary teacher, I don't get many cards or presents, but I have loved every one I have received. I especially love the messages inside the cards. I eat homemade treats, use the mugs, display any ornaments and wear the pashmina (my favourite present from a lovely year 11 student who had been in my tutor group since year 7 and who I'd taught for GCSEs).

Homebythesea I receive some cards and presents from my girl guides. I also tip the binmen and the paper boy. I give my horse riding instructor her favourite chocolate bars. My DH gives a bottle of wine to the local garage who sort out our MOT each year. I also sent a thank you card to the midwife who was amazing during and after labour.

My Gran's carers also get presents. I didn't think that any of this was unusual?

I wouldn't have been able to eat your gingerbread I'm afraid, OP, I have a horror of home baking especially when children gave helped, I only like baking when I've seen the kitchen and washed the hands myself. I am a bit weird, though.

I don't get why some posters refer to "competitive gift giving" surely everyone gives according to what they believe is right and how much they appreciate the teacher. I never know (or care) what others give to my DCs teachers, just give what I think is right.

Is there a polite way of asking whether homemade food gifts will be acceptable? I think it is perfectly reasonable for some people to refuse to eat homemade gifts. But I love baking and wouldn't want to waste homemade gifts on someone who would prefer a shop bought one.

I'm a teacher and am very very grateful for any present a child chooses to give me. I was looking at a Christmas decoration the other night and remembered fondly the girl who gave me it. She's about 18 now.

I love homemade things and wouldn't think twice about eating them! I think it's lovely that someone has gone to so
much trouble for you.

Yes, I do get a lot of chocolates. I enjoy eating them! And so do my Dh and DC. The best present I ever got was my favourite crisps and a packet of buttons from a girl who knew me very well! I really appreciated the fact that she'd noticed and remembered.

I ALWAYS open presents when they give them to me, I think it's rude not to and I really hate when teachers say they'll open them on Christmas Day. Children, especially young children, LIKE to see you open it and to know that you like it. It's just basic good manners, if you ask me.

I thank each child individually, I give them a wee hug, I have a wee chat with them and say something like, "Oh, I can't wait to have a bath with this lovely bubble bath, and I'll light your candle and I'll be eating those chocolates. Oh and I'll be hiding them so my DC can't get their hands on them!"

The children love this. I thank them all equally and say to them to please thank their mums for me. One girl yesterday was desperate for me to open her present as she'd got something for me with her own money and she'd made sure it had hand cream in it. She says you're always putting on hand cream, which is true. I wash my hands a lot in class!

She was so excited and kept telling me her mum
had wanted to get me chocs but she knew I'd get lots and wanted me to have a set with hand cream in it . Very thoughtful of her.

If a child gives me a necklace or earrings etc, I put them on straight away and make a point of wearing them often.
I appreciate every present, whether its the 5th best teacher mug doesn't matter. And I've never heard any other teacher in any school I've worked in make any kind of negative comment. We are ALL grateful. For whatever.

I give my children's teachers a present plus their learning assistant. It's not extravagant at all as I have a lot of adults to buy for. But I do want to thank them.

I also give a gift to our hairdresser, my waxing lady, the postman, our doctor surgery and our pharmacy: people who are doing their jobs, yes. But people who do their jobs well and care for us. I always write a nice card eg on the one to the pharmacy, I said thank you for being the quickest pharmacy ever! ( as we wait forever when we go elsewhere).

These gifts are not extravagant at all, just tokens of appreciation really. It's nice to be nice.

I've never really had an extravagant present from a parent. I don't expect to. I'm grateful for any gift or card. I appreciate that most people have a lot of demands on their money at Christmas so it's really lovely to be given anything at all.

Sometimes, children say oh I'm sorry I didn't get you a present. I say, you give me a present every day when you're here, trying hard and behaving well. That's the only present I need. It might sound trite but I do mean it.

(Apologies for any typos, tried to fix but my phone is playing up a bit!)

Saymynamesayit, I don't open my gifts in front of the children for several good reasons.
Firstly, where I teach many of the children are from low income homes but not all are. When I have opened gifts in front of the children I have heard others make negative remarks about them or comment about a child who hasn't brought anything Of course I reprimand etc but as we all know, these types of comments can be really hurtful.
Secondly, it is really important to me to write personalised thank you notes. I have forgotten and missed out a child when I opened the gifts in class and didn't have a written note if who have me each present. To me that is far more rude than not opening them in class in the first place. I do always wear the jewellery/ use the cups/ display the ornaments so the children can see them in use though.

Ds wanted to give his teacher a hot chocolate from costa coffee because it's one of his favourite things to do and he thought she would like a nice quiet sitdown and treat (his nursery year ARE a bit of a handful)

We couldn't do that obviously, so wrapped up a hot chocolate sachet and a giant biscuit saying 'hope you get to put your feet up and have a nice cuppa this xmas'. It looks naff (cost £2) compared to expensive wine etc but the 'thought' behind it is was lovely and from him.

Maybe the champagne mum thought they work hard and could use a drink (or few)? there may still have been a nice thought behind it even if it seems a bit OTT?

Nickysmam That's dreadful! No wonder they banned it. How truly awful.

As a parent I have given wine or decorated bags.

As a teacher my favourites to receive are the cards with genuine notes of thanks. Wine and chocolate are great. Useful stationery is superb. Someone up-thread mentioned post-its and highlighters ... perfect!!!

A friend of mine is a reception teacher and does home visits before the children starts school. She is sometimes selective about which home made gifts she eats.

indyandlara

Well, that makes perfect sense. I've never encountered that so I suppose I was referring to teachers I know who just prefer to open them on Christmas Day because they like to have more presents!

Or they say it's too busy in class, not enough time. I've honestly never heard a teacher say it was in case of adverse comments. Not that I'm suggesting for one minute that it's not your experience, not at all.

Apologies, I hope I didn't offend you. I think I'd do the same in your case. (I've given presents to adults in school who do this. What annoys me is that I never then hear a word from them come January. Sometimes I say, oh did DS1 give you his present??? He's a bit scatty! Just wanted to check!
not scatty at all. But you're rude!

Saymyname I got a bauble from a boy this year, with 2013 on it. It's extra nice, because this is my NQT year. I've written his name on it using a sharpie, and the class and school.

I think wanting to buy hot chocolate from Costa is an example of the perfect thought process behind a gift, and your interpretation of it sounds lovely.

Not offended! It's probably just due to the mix of families in the area I teach. It's the end of the term, who can honestly say they are too busy on the last day of term?!

I would hate people to think I am ungrateful which is why I always acknowledge and thank them in January. I heard an awful conversation in the staff room this year where 3 colleagues discussed which parents bought good gifts and who bought crap. Yes those words were used. I was disgusted and told them so.

I don't agree with it at all tbh. When did it all start?! A card and a thank you should be enough. They are actually paid to do a job. A consultant helped stop my dd being born at 26 weeks this year, an amazing doctor. He seemed grateful that I actually thanked him.
I put a tenner in for the collection for the teachers as its a small school, so going with the herd. Its going to carry on unless a head somewhere stops it. Alot of professions are not allowed gifts (like mine) I keep all my thank you cards.