To think some people try FAR too hard with teacher Xmas presents?

[weddingballsup]

DD took in a present for her teacher today - a large tin of gingerbread we made together and decorated nicely and I thought even that was heading to the 'too much' side but her teacher has been exceptional and really made a difference to dd, which I've told her before, so it seemed fitting.

Then dd came home and told me one boy in her class had brought in a case of 6 bottles each (she didn't know if it was wine or champagne) for both the teacher and the TA!! I know full well it's up to each parent what they do but surely that's just ridiculous? Considering it's a very 'bog standard' school, not a 'Mail-worthy' competitive private school.

Anyone else seen some 'trying too hard' efforts?

Am a teacher. Once gave Bolly to teacher and a hamper of goodies to the school. Was a one off for a very specific reason and I know it was received in the spirit it was given. However, I know and understand that my letter of thanks meant more to the lovely teacher.

My only personal rule is not to get food/chocolate. I've worked in a school setting where they just get given away. And it saves worrying about diets and allergies.

Not alcohol- I don't trust dd with a glass bottle and concrete playground.

Always buy the same present for the TA's. they always know my child more, and work just as hard and paid a lot less and often forgotten about.

Most parents don't give gifts in our school. I jut give something inexpensive like a personalised teacher magnet, mug etc. This time they both got a soap cupcake thing and 2 mini Yankee candles.

I don't think there is such a thing as trying too hard or not trying hard enough. People just give what they would like to or can afford to, ime, and that can be loads or nothing.

This year I got 3 bottles of wine, 2 boxes of chocolate, 2 sets of smelly stuff, some personalised sweets, 2 personalised tree decorations and a cushion plus lots of cards. All much appreciated. Yes, a lot of the non personalised stuff will be regifted but that doesn't mean I think it's 'tat' or 'useless', it means I think it's lovely and can save on buying things.

So I am the only MNer that didnt send a card or gift then?

I should add that I do value my childrens teachers very much but it never occurred to me to send a gift either at Xmas or in the summer!

We gave DD's keyworker a new glittery gold mug, some naice teabags and a box of lindor. One of my best friends works there so i had inside information :)

You won't be the only on bogey. Where I work it seems about 70% of the parents give at Christmas and 90% in the Summer. And that's an affluent school so I don't know if it's representative or not.

It sounds like OP is a bit peeved and feeling she was outdone

Who honestly has time to give two hoots what someone else give their childs teacher?

How about thinking 'that's nice' 'my DC teacher is appreciated by lots of parents, he/she must be doing a good job'

Not some mealy mouthed criticism.

I gave our son's teacher a Japanese print teacup/saucer, a pencil case with cartoon style apples on it, a memobook in the shape of the same apple and a couple of Christmas ornaments. I hope she understood the 'apple for the teacher' idea otherwise the pencil case and memobook might seem a bit odd . I'm terrible at baking cakes and biscuits and they are never much good. I'd like to give teachers something that lasts a bit longer and isn't food related (since they seem to get a lot of chocolates).

I love the "I'm a kindy teacher - what is your super power?" that is brilliant!

I do spend a lot of money on nursery teachers because -

• they are so fantastic with my children.

• they enable me to go to work and not worry.

• we have no extended family so they are key to our family. I also try make sure I feature the people who do the jobs that many people may not notice such as volunteers or admin.

• I do it quietly although my kids probably are not quiet as they get excited and help choose the presents - I would be horrified if it was seen as too competitive.

• I do try find out what people might like too and do it at a quiet time.

• I do spend money and we are not really wealthy.

I would not think a case of wine was over the top but might say it is for all the teachers to share.

There was one year I didn't do gifts at all because I was very ill. So for me being well and providing something for others is something very special (even if no one else knows it). I am also generous with some of my super neighbours.

I think because of this thread I will tone stuff down for primary school teachers.

Do teachers have to declare presents like other LA employee's? Not saying that teachers shouldn't get presents but wouldn't it be worse if the teacher then had to hand it over. When I worked at an LA edible gifts were allowed to be shared. Other things had to either be returned or donated to the mayor's charity for auction, invitations to events had to be put into a register noting if you attend or not.

I usually try to do something thoughtful, but this year I didn't have the energy for it. I got each of my daughter's teachers (there are four of them in her classroom) a $10 gift card, plus one for her speech therapist, and one for the lady who helps us with her IEP. It's the same thing I gave our mailman.

I've never heard of giving alcohol! I bet the teachers love that.

There was a thread on cafe mom the other week asking teachers what gifts they hate getting. They all said home baked items got binned or put in the staff room with "from the smith family - help yourselves" because none of them wanted to eat food from unknown kitchens. They also all said ornaments and best teacher type gifts were thrift shopped because they get too many. Likewise mugs. I basically made it clear gift cards were the only appreciated gift. Depressing, but that is what we went with this year.

That's interesting. At least it makes me feel better about my lame gift card efforts. :)

I am a secondary teacher and have only ever got cards. I felt truly blessed when one boy who had given me masses of trouble all year gave me a card saying thanks! I almost cried.

hazchem I wondered about that, I'm sure at work if a gift is more than a certain amount its seen as a taxable perk. We sometimes get gifts bribes from suppliers and are not allowed to personally keep them. We are allowed to share edible items.

Is a parents gift to a teacher seen as different?

School collections are not a mn "thing" one mum arranges one every year to buy books for the class..... From her own book shop!!!

teachers are public employees and as such should be subject to the same rules as other LA employees. Our LA states in its code of conduct that no employee can accept more than a token gift, of approx £5.00 in value, and even then can only do so with agreement from their line manager. Don't know if its different in acadamies where staff are employed directly by the school. If I managed a public servant who accepted a gift of several bottles of wine, I would be expected to start disciplinary procedings, and would also ensure the gift was returned to the giver with an explanation of why it could not be accepted.

Yes, teachers do a great job, and its lovely to thank them with a card, but why do they need more than this? when my dc were in primary school I used to write a card for the teacher and send in sone homemade cakes for the staff room for all the staff to share. The whole present giving thing seems to be getting completely out of hand.

I usually give plants or alcohol.

This Christmas we have baskets of hyacinths to the two who live in flats and small outdoor containers to those who have gardens . The children helped plant them up .

Our teachers must be an odd breed then! The kids raided my homemade sweet box for the teachers this year and both DS 1&2 teachers popped some fudge in their mouths as soon as it was received. They must not worry that we're a dirty family with an icky kitchen.

Although DS 2's teacher did ask me if I would be offended if she put the coconut ice on the party table as her husband is allergic to coconut.

There was a collection here - but I missed the memo & didn't contribute! Oops. This time we had made lots of tree decorations so the dc's decorated one for each teacher & ta, and wrote a thank you card.

We did a class collection for anyone that wanted to as we thought teacher/ta would prefer that to 25 boxes of chocolates or something. Maybe seen as lacking thought, who knows?

At our school, it's generally the rule of thumb that food gifts get put out on the table in the staff room for everyone to eat. We have quite a few student free days of meetings and reporting after school closes (end of the school year and christmas coincide here) so that food tends to get us through those days. We have one parent who owns a winery and drops off quite a few boxes for our christmas party. You can keep any alcohol you get as a gift, but most of us tend to hand out a few bottles from what we receive to the admin/library/cleaning/IT staff who don't get much in the way of gifts. We can't do our jobs without them, so it's only fair they get some as well.

I do love little personal gifts. Quite a few years ago a student gave me a little ceramic dog as they knew I loved dogs, and I kept it on my desk. The following year it got a few friends, then more the year after. They range from $1 store ones up to a Swarovski one (he lives at home!). There's quite a collection now, and I love them all. The other thing that I seem to get a lot, and really love, is a nice book for the classroom, with a message inside from the child. That way, future students benefit from it.

But really, I don't keep score of who gives and who doesn't. A thank you is what I really appreciate, and I love getting handmade cards from the kids. I have every single one I ever received, and they're scanned on to my digital photo frame on my desk.

I don't give a gift to be competitive, I do it to say thank you to the teacher. I couldn't give two hoots what anyone else does or doesn't do.

FWIW, this term DS1 has had some challenges and been hard work. We gave his teacher and TA a bottle of really good wine - it was the least they deserved.

I've given wine, chocolates, plants, tree decorations and conrtributed to a collection in the past.

This year I received chocolate, hot chocolate stirrer with my name on, mug full of sweets, flowers, joules bath bombs, Christmas cake, a wish bracelet with snowflake charm, toiletries set.

Last year I was blown away by a white company candle. Other favourite presents were fluffy socks and a bookmark. And the scarf and gloves I've worn every cold day since.

If I'm being honest, the only present I haven't properly appreciated was the best teacher mug- all four of us got given one from the same child and the mug isn't a nice drinking shape . I'm happy with a mug but a nice one (I dont mean expensive) I'd want to use would be preferred. That said the best teacher mug does sometimes get used at work because I appreciate the child giving it to me, even though I don't like the mug itself.