82y old MIL expects me or DH to put in her suppositories when she comes for xmas?

[tiredpooky]

she is constipated last few days and wont even try to put them in herself. (Always been a helpless lady last 20y i've known her, expects others to 'do' for her)
I mean I am right arent I? Totally inappropriate and gross. DH says he wont and I have never got on with the lady...
{makes wretching sound}
she knows she can get the district nurse, but we get the impression that as she is coming here anyway, we might as well do it for her........
has she no shame?

Get your nails done for Christmas, 3 inch talons with sharp crystal decorations oughta prevent her asking you

This thread has made me laugh out loud!!!

MIL anal juice

Contender for saying of the year.

Not sure about classics but this really needs to be made discussion of the day...

Christ alive!!!!!!!!!!
Madonna, blutac, bobbing Brussels, wow!
All I can say is that if you did do it, you'd probably find it to be the start of a very slippery slope.

Your poor mil, all she wants is a partridge in her pear tree.

Op, serious question, is she French?

All the French people I know are mad for suppositories

what did YOU say to her>?

I can't even read the thread, I've been belly laughing at the thread title for the last 5 mins!!! My jaws are actually aching without reading any of it!!!

whattoWHO I think if she did it, she would be at the start of a slippery slope in an all too real sense.

Stay firm OP. Firm as MIL's bowels.

I blame Moliere.

For the first time in over 20 years, I don't think that I have the worst MIL alive!

Loving the replies. My current favourites:
The Blu-Tak
Stick the suppositories up Grandma
An umbrella

It would only take one (usually) to clear the problem then lactulose would be enough to keep her regular (usually).

My MIL is coming over on Christmas Day and I've been dreading it. Every time she winds me up, I'm going to remind myself of this thread and thank GOD I don't have to go near her arse. Thank you, OP. You may have saved my Christmas.

There is no way on earth I could put a suppository up the chocolate starfish of MIL ewww, just no and I was a health care professional, just NO

although it could be another use for the other wise under used turkey baster

Stick on the longest brightly painted false nails you can find and flaunt them constantly.

If you are absolutely forced to do it then 'lose' one of the nails..........

tiredpooky
you win the internet

Or shout 'hellooooooo' as you're doing it and make it sound like an echo.

Oh god....am crying at this thread. I dont even care if its make believe [grim]

Oh. Lordy.

Holy FUCK! NOT ON YOUR LIFE!!!
Nothing would induce me to get within 60 ft of my MILs naked arse!

Her FACE is bad enough!

Funniest thread ever.

"Stick the suppository up Grandma"

"Crack shot with a Nerf Gun"

And TBF, MIL plenty of shit comes out of her mouth, I'd just get the old bat to swallow it!

But how did Madonna come into this again?