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AIBU?

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Original poster

82y old MIL expects me or DH to put in her suppositories when she comes for xmas?

372 replies

tiredpooky · 20/12/2013 12:22

she is constipated last few days and wont even try to put them in herself. (Always been a helpless lady last 20y i've known her, expects others to 'do' for her)
I mean I am right arent I? Totally inappropriate and gross. DH says he wont and I have never got on with the lady...
{makes wretching sound}
she knows she can get the district nurse, but we get the impression that as she is coming here anyway, we might as well do it for her........
has she no shame?

OP posts:
HesterShaw · 20/12/2013 15:40

One has to question why she wants someone else to do it though, if she's physically capable of it herself.

ShatnersBassoon · 20/12/2013 15:47

She evidently isn't capable of doing it herself. Why on earth would an elderly woman want her son to poke something up her backside?

I don't think it's that bad. I'm sure I'd do it for my mum or MIL. I'm not grossed out by body parts.

HesterShaw · 20/12/2013 15:51

Op reckons she is.

songlark · 20/12/2013 15:53

No, tell her to get practicing cos when she comes to your house no ones willing to do it. How hard can it be to do it herself.

Aniseeda · 20/12/2013 15:54

My Grandma always makes a big deal out of asking someone to get her a glass of water so she can take her tablets, makes sure everyone in the house knows she's taking them, how many she has to take (she'll be opening her own chemist shop at this rate don't you know?!) and what they are all for. She could quite easily get her own water and take them in private if she were so inclined!

I am sure she would draw the line at suppositories though!

clam · 20/12/2013 15:55

Well thank you very much mrsdavidbowie! Your "stick the suppository up grandma" remark has made me spit tea all over my phone.

ShatnersBassoon · 20/12/2013 15:56

Unless you stood and watched someone trying to push something small into their arse, I think it's safe to say you don't really know if they're mobile enough to successfully insert a suppository. It's also fairly safe to say that someone asking for help inserting such a thing definitely needs help, or they wouldn't ask.

drudgewithagrudge · 20/12/2013 15:56

Only give her Movicol if you are prepared to spend Boxing Day decorating the bathroom. I speak from experience. DH had to take some before a colonoscopy and several months later I still find the odd splatter.

TheGashlycrumbTinies · 20/12/2013 16:02

Absolutely no chance!

I've been a nurse for 27 years, still NO WAY.

If she can up wrap a Ferrero Rocher, and pop it in the right place, she can do the same with a suppository. Grim.

Why the hell would an able bodied person request this? Confused

TheGashlycrumbTinies · 20/12/2013 16:06

Shatners that isn't strictly true. In my training I had to give suppositories to "very abled" men, because the asked for them, and wanted a nurse instead. The Sister said I had to do it, the look on their faces when they knew what was coming made me sick. Sad

Ladyglamalot · 20/12/2013 16:07

Yadnbu!!! -my mil had an accident a few years and spent a few months bed bound-milking it btw. She dropped huge hints about my helping her with getting a "proper" wash. Hell would freeze over before I would do this. She would not dream of asking her bloody son!

Thumbnutstwitchingonanopenfire · 20/12/2013 16:09

Drudge - that says more about your DH's toilet habits than the Movicol! Xmas Grin (speaking as one who had a colonscopy earlier this week and had to take Glycoprep for it) No redecorating required here Xmas Smile

HesterShaw · 20/12/2013 16:09

I've done my fair share of arse bullets, on myself that is. I'd say the main issue would be a.....ehm.... digital dexterity one. If she does not have arthritis in her hands/fingers it ought to be possible to do it herself. It's not like you have to bend over and peer up your own crack.

ShinyBlackNose · 20/12/2013 16:12

Oh dear God! No! There is no way would I do this.

I've held a potty under my MIL as she's wee'd into it. That was a long way past my limit but she'd broken her hip and was waiting for an ambulance.

Mumof22222boys · 20/12/2013 16:19

No way!!!

I have one suppo once when in hospital badly bunged up after a hip replacement. Constipation hurt more than having my bone cut off. And after that one soppo I stuck to prunes and other oral meds and it was fine!

I'd cancel Christmas rather than that Grin

YoDiggity · 20/12/2013 16:20

Seriously? I cannot imagine any woman actually wanting to ask her DIL or her DS to do this rather than doing it herself or utilising the services of the nurse. Very odd indeed.

digerd · 20/12/2013 16:22

It is difficult when you are older and stiffer to twist from your waist and perform a forward stretch with knees bent even when sitting on the loo.
You have no eyes in the back of your head so can't see what you are doing.
Orange juice gets me going. Seems inappropriate for an 82 year-old to have been prescribed suppositories.

Minnieistheglittermouse · 20/12/2013 16:23

Fuck OFF!

Have vomit spraying through my fingers! Worst. Dilemma. EVER!

Boak again

PrivateBenjamin · 20/12/2013 16:25

Haha! This is hilarious. Stay strong OP, just say fuck no in the style of Grange Hill.

As an aside, why would you pretend to be Madonna? Is she famous for fingering arses? I would pretend to be a vet if I were to do this. Which I never would.

Gingefringe · 20/12/2013 16:26

When my son was constipated and used a suppository he had to run like hell from his bedroom across the landing when it started to take effect and had a nasty leakage accident all over our new carpet on the way to the toilet!!
Unless she can move like lightning to the loo I would't want her to be using suppositories in our house after Xmas dinner!

Floggingmolly · 20/12/2013 16:29

You're supposed to do it because she doesn't want to do it herself??? Shock
If she's limber enough to wipe her own bum (please God say she is!) then she doesn't need help inserting anything. It's the same angle, isn't it?
I wouldn't do this for anybody.

HungryHorace · 20/12/2013 16:32

Not that I'm suggesting that whoever wins the 'who gives MIL her suppository' game should accidentally do such a thing ...

Surely whoever ends up doing this has lost the game, not won it?!!

raisah · 20/12/2013 16:35

Why can't the dr prescribe her movicol powder? You just mix it in a drink or juice & it should take affect within a day. A lot of constipatipn is caused by dehydration and diet. She could also take califig (Syrup of figs but it from tescos etc) which is completely natural.

Most people should take califig after over indulging at Christmas!

namechangeno1 · 20/12/2013 16:36

Does she want you to do this before or after you've stuffed the turkey?

Seriously though, my Christmas problems have just paled into insignificance :)

My thoughts are with you...

fluffyraggies · 20/12/2013 16:46

I.LOVE.MN Xmas Grin