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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

82y old MIL expects me or DH to put in her suppositories when she comes for xmas?

372 replies

tiredpooky · 20/12/2013 12:22

she is constipated last few days and wont even try to put them in herself. (Always been a helpless lady last 20y i've known her, expects others to 'do' for her)
I mean I am right arent I? Totally inappropriate and gross. DH says he wont and I have never got on with the lady...
{makes wretching sound}
she knows she can get the district nurse, but we get the impression that as she is coming here anyway, we might as well do it for her........
has she no shame?

OP posts:
FoodieToo · 20/12/2013 14:18

Not if she were never to crap again.....

IHaveSeenMyHat · 20/12/2013 14:19

Oh dear lord.

She can get herself some Movicol instead - much more effective and far less unpleasant for all concerned!

BalloonSlayer · 20/12/2013 14:19

Or you could tell her that "neither DH or I will be able to, but not to worry, Big Pete from the Pub said he'll have a go. In fact, it's an ambition of his. Takes all sorts, doesn't it? Well, let me know when you're ready and I'll give him a ring. Mind you - I hope he's got some gloves. None of mine will fit him; "Banana Fingers," that's his other nickname hahaha. Shall I ring him now?"

Millenniumbug1 · 20/12/2013 14:22

I'd love the opportunity to shove something like a piece of holly up my MIL' s arse! Xmas Shock

meddie · 20/12/2013 14:23

Maybe suggest a clove of garlic.

HaroldTheGoat · 20/12/2013 14:23

No no no no fucking way would I do this for any other human being apart from my DC.

IamInvisible · 20/12/2013 14:23

This thread has made DS1(19) and I roar! Xmas Grin

No way in a million years would I do it, and DS1 said he won't be doing them for me either!

Mattissy · 20/12/2013 14:25

Seriously, no way!!!!

I'm going to tell my MIL now that's she's 61, just so she knows for the future, lol!!!

ComposHat · 20/12/2013 14:26

I had to have a suppository inserted by the Doctor. He was very good. He managed to do it with both of his hands on my shoulders.

natwebb79 · 20/12/2013 14:27

One word: 'Classics'. Grin

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 20/12/2013 14:34

Picolax, as in singletrackworld.com/2009/02/the-picolax-thread-returns/

I am a very bad man indeed.

YouTheCat · 20/12/2013 14:36

Compo! Grin

HuglessDouglas · 20/12/2013 14:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thumbnutstwitchingonanopenfire · 20/12/2013 14:45

Nonononono, picolax is far too small a quantity. Glycoprep is infinitely more unpleasant in that respect.

oldgrandmama · 20/12/2013 14:45

Accidentally putting a suppository in SIDEWAY is very very painful for the recipient - I know, 'cos it was done to me by a hurried and possibly shortsighted nurse in hospital. Not that I'm suggesting that whoever wins the 'who gives MIL her suppository' game should accidentally do such a thing ...

NameToBeDecided · 20/12/2013 14:46

MIL Anal juice - please, that is just the most revolting thing I think I have ever heard in my life!! Xmas Grin
I'm never going to moan about my families unresonable demands again.

OP in all seriousness I'm sorry we are treating this as a bit of a joke, but YADDDNBU. Like someone said earlier, if she is physically capable of doing it herself you need to say no, otherwise you are reinforcing ideas that she is too frail and dependant to do it herself. But also if she is constipated now and has been for a few days, it sounds like the sups aren't working anyway. Maybe she should go to her GP?

DidoTheDodo · 20/12/2013 14:48

starofbethlehem my preference for the brolly was that you could open it (probably first) and hence not actually have to see anything. Whereas with a cane you'd get the full view.

ViviPru · 20/12/2013 14:52

I was holding it together (just) until the game of Stick the suppository up Grandma

On the motorway, heading to mil's, feeling desperately sorry for myself but this thread has made me feel a whole lot better about my lot. I won't be able to look her in the eye though when she passes me the chocolate Brazils...

EyesCrossedLegsAkimbo · 20/12/2013 14:53

Is it a snarky comment on your cooking that she expects to be bunged up? If she is already constipated and has been using them, then they're not working, so there's no point using them.

Tell her you have discussed her problem on a very popular internet forum and hundreds of Mumsnetters say eeewwwww. If the thought of that doesn't make her shit herself, then a gift voucher for colonic irrigation would be a perfect Christmas pressie.

Xmas Grinand lots of Wine

AnnieLobeseder · 20/12/2013 14:56

A perfectly able-bodied women who just doesn't want to do it herself?

"No" is a complete sentence.

Dear lord, how has she got the balls to even ask?! Shock

JennyOnAPlate · 20/12/2013 14:57

mrsdb stick the suppository up grandma....I am crying here! The party game of champions!

K8Middleton · 20/12/2013 15:28

Well the op has the opportunity to check Annie. For balls.

HesterShaw · 20/12/2013 15:28

Dear lord There are no words. I'm now thinking of my own ILs, my own parents in fact, looking into the future and panicking.

However this thread my have yielded my favourite ever post:
"It's Christmas time....there's no need to be afraid..."

But there is

capsium · 20/12/2013 15:35

Bandage DH's hand up. If she asks say 'Don't ask' bad temperedly.

Get the longest sharpest acrylic nails for yourself.

Say sorry, can't do and hand over something from the medicine cabinet.

Idespair · 20/12/2013 15:39

You lots are quite squeamish! I'd do it (with gloves!) for my mil if that's what she wanted.