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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think some people spend a ridiculous amount on their partner at Christmas (or am I just stingy?)

140 replies

BelleHelene · 18/12/2013 09:23

I know it's not really my business, but I can't believe how much some of my friends spend on their partner's presents. DP and I usually spend about Â£100 in total on each other, which I think is quite a decent amount. We both earn decent wages by the way.
I have many friends that think nothing of buying iPads, xboxs etc and I know they're not rolling in it. Why do people do this? What's the point?

OP posts:

Ticktock80 · 18/12/2013 16:14

I spent £500 on two things for DP this year. We can afford it and its all relative. You spend what you can afford. If you think that's ridiculous that's fine because it bothers me not one jot. I wouldn't think to judge what anyone spends their money on.

FoxMulder · 18/12/2013 16:23

So do most people have separate accounts (either as well as a joint or on their own)? DH & I just have joint and I suppose I assumed that was the 'normal' way of doing things, but I've never given it much thought!

LaQueenAnd3KingsOfOrientAre · 18/12/2013 17:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hulababy · 18/12/2013 17:38

No, we have a joint account. Everything comes from that. But we just use that to treat each other. At Chrstmas we like to treat eachother, rather than just going out and treating ourselves. I like the actual going out, chosing and wrapping the gift, and then giving it to dh as a gift.

The just giving each other the same amount of money would feel very odd to me, even if in separate accounts, I can't see the point tbh. But then each to their own I guess.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 18/12/2013 17:54

We have separate and a joint account. Presents come out of our separate accounts. That way we don't know what each other is buying!

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 18/12/2013 17:55

Presents I mean.

Hulababy · 18/12/2013 19:23

We have an agreement not to look too closely at account before Christmas. But it's all a bit irrelevant it really. Due to where I have bought dh's gift he'd not know what I have bought just from the shop name.

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 18/12/2013 19:42

What's excessive to some isn't to others.

DP spent £700 on me last year, which is bloody silly but he's just really generous at christmas.

Does it matter really as long as they're both happy? Especially if there's no children to buy for.

wordfactory · 18/12/2013 20:03

Hula we agree not to check the credit card records until after xmas.

I don't anyway so no skin off my nose (chanels Charles Saatchi), but DH usually checks them every couple of days online, so it will be killing him .

ShitOnAStick · 18/12/2013 20:43

YABU if they can afford it then why not? Me and DH spend anywhere from 10-30 quid depending on income that year but I'd love to be able to afford to buy him a laptop or a tablet or nice clothes and definitely would if we had the money.

Hulababy · 18/12/2013 20:47

Word factory - sounds similar to hear. It drives dh mad not being allowed to look, but he copes. He's allowed to check the balance total only but no specifics - and that's only because we need to transfer funds from other accounts at times, etc especially as also just booked a holiday. I never look anyway.

Naoko · 18/12/2013 20:51

I spent about £20 on DP's gift because we don't have a lot of money. I don't know what he's spent on mine but I imagine it's about the same. If we had more money, I'd buy him more expensive gifts because there are things I know he'd love that we cannot afford; if we were even broker than we actually are I'd spend less.

Surely it's only ridiculous if you can't afford it? My £20 would be ridiculous if it meant I couldn't afford to eat this week, but I can, so it's a reasonable expense on a gift. £100 would be ridiculous for us, but is perfectly reasonable for other people.

Bodicea · 18/12/2013 21:02

It is all relevant to what you can afford and where you are in your lives. In lean years we have set budgets of £100. Last year we had a good year financially speaking and it was our last year without children. Dh got a v expensive watch (£2000) that I had to raid my savings for but was so worth it and I know he will cherish it for years . He help me buy my car so I didn't do too bad either. This year we are back to a budget as it is all about the new baby. Do I regret the splurge? No way we will never spend that kind of money. on each other for a while. But I would never get into debt for pressies. Spend only what you have.

ELR · 18/12/2013 21:08

Last year DH got me a kitchen aid £420 and an ipad £400 the year before he got me a vest and knickers set about £20 and a hat and scarf about £25. This year I think he's spent around £200 in previous years he's spent £5 on chocolates it's swings and roundabouts!

ExcuseTypos · 18/12/2013 22:09

If you've got the money, why shouldn't you spoil each other?

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