To think some people spend a ridiculous amount on their partner at Christmas (or am I just stingy?)

[BelleHelene]

I know it's not really my business, but I can't believe how much some of my friends spend on their partner's presents. DP and I usually spend about £100 in total on each other, which I think is quite a decent amount. We both earn decent wages by the way.
I have many friends that think nothing of buying iPads, xboxs etc and I know they're not rolling in it. Why do people do this? What's the point?

Each to their own.

I have spent around £350 on DH this year. A leather bag, two shirts, a jumper and some aftershave. £100 would have bought the two shirts.

I know DH has bought me a new iPad, to replace my old iPad 1. I suspect he has probably spent at least 3 times more on me than I have on him. He puts a huge amount of thought and effort into my presents, but that is all he does, I buy everything else. DH just goes out and buys himself what he wants when he wants it and so is incredibly difficult to buy for. I wait for Christmas.

But why does it matter what anyone else spends? we've had plenty of years when we had little money and a £20 gift would have been a big deal. We can afford more now, but it's not about the money, it's about being thoughtful.

We always have the '£20 limit' on gifts for each other, then we buy whatever we think the other will like and say it cost £20, this year I have spent about £65 on him but he needs some new boxers and lounge wear (what he calls his PJs) so will probably be about £80. That said the things I buy him are normally shirts for work and a box of chocolates for a treat.

DP is getting an ipad. It's the first christmas in our 7 year relationship that I've had some money to buy him anything. I've been saving for months without him knowing.

I think the whole waiting-for-Christmas-to-buy-expensive-presents thing is very childish

If you want/need something, buy it anyway, rather than counting the days down to Christmas like a small child

That way you don't feel obliged to buy things that people either don't want or need

I've spent £10 this year on a gift I know he'll love. I would happily spend much more, but he didn't want or need anything big this year. Ifi want something expensive for myself or the house I always ask if he would like to get it for me for Christmas/birthday. Saves him the angst of finding me a 'thoughtful' gift, and the money always comes from our joint account so would be exactly the same as me buying it. I don't think he's got me anything this year, but to be honest I don't need the extra pile of wrapping paper to pick up, so I'm not bothered. According to one of my friend this is tantamount to abuse (as is buying ds a bundle of second hand toys from eBay for a fraction of the cost of new ones- he's 5 months old fgs he won't have a clue!)

We've spent 50 each on each other. I think it's nice to have a present from your partner on Christmas day in my opinion but I don't think it matters how much it's worth, just depends on your budget!

If you can afford it then why not.
For the last 3 years DH has been very generous with presents for me. But has really surpassed himself this year, yes it may be extravagant and the cost may make some peoples eyes water but he loves to spoil me at Christmas and also its my birthday early January so often it is combined.

He does this because he loves me and I don't buy myself much throughout the year even though there's no reason why I couldn't.

I on the other hand don't spend as much on him at Christmas as he will buy whatever he wants throughout the year.

As long as you spend what you can afford then I don't think it matters what other people spend.

Well seeing as all our money is joint, what we spend on each other is a moot point, really! As for other people, meh. Spend what you want within what you can afford. I've got friends who spend four figures on each other at Christmas, I've got friends who don't gift at all. So what? Their choice and I like both couples the same.

The thing is mijas many of us feel slightly about spending lots of money on ourselves. Particularly on items that are undoubtedly a luxury.

Someone else buying it for you, essentially saying 'go on you're worth it' is much nicer...

Oh dear.. I've spent about £200 on DH this year.

I hope this doesnt turn into competitive thrift,I gives 'im a tangerine and slap
I think spend what you can afford and want to.It's what you're comfortable with
Thing I like about present is the surprise,as I work so if I want something I'll buy it

The way I see it: if I wanted something I would have bought it already, unless we can't afford it - in which case we still can't afford it just because it's Christmas. So we don't get each other presents.

Our xmas gift budget varies massively from year to year for various reasons, but generally the way it splits is about 50% for DH/DS/me presents and about 50% for the rest of the family, with about 2/3 of the 50% going towards present for DS.

Now we have a DD too, and i'm not sure what the split is exactly but it's about the same.

Each to his own.

We spend a lot on each other - and also on the DC. We earn enough that we can afford it, we don't go into debt doing so. And I don't see how it's anybody else's business TBH So YABU.

Just checked and this year we are spending 70% of the budget on our household - because DS is getting a laptop so spending a lot more than usual on him.

mijass99 - DH and I each have stockings hanging along the fireplace along with the DCs - how childish do you think that is then?

Sometimes I spend a lot sometimes I spend a little, I buy what I know he wants and hasn't bought for himself or what I know he would like and wouldn't buy for himself.

My xmas present this year has cost about £1000 ( From our joint income) and I've spent about 250 on DP .

I've had a diamond ring remodelled in platinum as the stones kept coming loose. The ring was inherited from my DM and I wanted to be able to wear it everyday and I would have been devastated if I'd lost one of the stones .

I love the ring and feel like I've got a little bit of my late DM with me all the time and feel a little sad that I won't feel able to "show my gift off" as it'll feel like boasting as lots off my friends and colleagues are struggling at the moment.
DP has also got me a few surprises and if anyone asks what I got for xmas this is what i shall be telling people.

We are lucky that we are both working and are mortgage free but It still feels a little bit excessive..........................

Out of interest how do folk who are housewives manage the spend,do you spend his money from the joint?
Doesn't it become a bit circular.do you end up spending the dp money to buy his own present

This year I have spent £10 on a present for DH, therefore your £100 seems excessive. However in the past, when I have had more disposable income, I have spent over £50 (couldn't possibly spend more than that, DH has very cheap tastes )

YABU but you are right, it is none of your business.

Humph.

DH is getting a jumper, t-shirt and jeans. Sadly, because he's bloody huge, that little lot is around £100. So I'm overspending and he still doesn't get a big exciting present.

Grumble mutter grumble.

Well I'm not a SAHM, I work, but DH and I have a joint account for bills and separate accounts each for our personal spending - I don't know how I could keep his presents secret if we had one account - and vice versa obviously...