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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to have reported this RI shop assistant?

308 replies

Vikki88 · 17/12/2013 12:09

I went into my local River Island store today, knowing what I wanted to buy having seen the items online but wanting to try them on before buying. I had the usual “Do you need a hand with anything?” from the shop assistant but I told her I didn’t need any help and she went away.

After seeing me picking up what I wanted, she came back over & asked if I was ok – to which I obviously said yes, she’d only spoken to me 2 minutes ago. Not paying attention to my answer, she then ‘helpfully’ started pointing out other items which she thought were nice before adding that they’d suit me & possibly “even more” than what I had in my hands – all in that annoyingly false happy/enthusiastic voice. Now I can only say that the clothes she was trying to push me towards were frumpy, boring & not at all me. I bit my lip but to me her underlying thoughts were that I didn't have the figure to wear the clothes that I wanted to buy and should wear clothes which covered more… something which really is nothing to do with her.

Already feeling insulted, I ignored her & went to try on my clothes but not before she ‘helpfully’ added she could help me out if I needed any other sizes – we all know what she was insinuating with that. Anyway, I tried on my outfit & as it turns out I did need bigger sizes and I was perfectly willing to go and sort this myself without any fuss. However, as soon as I leave the changing room I see her and she asks, and I quote, “Were they alright for you? Do you need anything bigger?” and with that I’d had enough. I don’t come into shops for snarky comments or to be judged by staff. I said “no” and walked off… I felt too embarrassed to go & actually get the bigger sizes and to give this cow the satisfaction of being right. I did see her supervisor/manager as I was leaving & went over & reported her and she apologised on her behalf – I never report anyone but I thought she deserved it.

The shop assistant was a young girl but that doesn’t give her the right to be blatantly rude to customers. I’m very aware I’ve been putting on weight recently and don’t need people like her making me feel insecure about it. I wonder how many other customers this girl has offended with her lack of tact?

OP posts:
woozlebear · 17/12/2013 12:51

Poor girl. Don't you realise that they are MADE to be so overly helpful? I did shop work for years and no matter how much it may get some customers' backs up (and it gets mine up, as a customer) there is simply no way out of it. If a manager thinks there's an unattended customer you should be helping, you'd better go 'help' them.

Shop work can be awful. Well done for just making her life worse. If you had an issue with being pestered, could you not have the sense to complain to the manager about store policy rather than single out the staff member whose hands are tied?

As for the stuff about the sizes - totally your issues, not her.

catkind · 17/12/2013 12:55

I think enough people are insecure about weight that sales assistants should be trained to ask if someone wants "a different" size not "a bigger" size, even if they judge it is the latter. Not the most tactful IMO.

I'd have run a mile if someone started making suggestions as to what I should try on too. Is that what trendy shops do these days? Good thing I shop at boring old fashioned ones!

TheHammaconda · 17/12/2013 12:56

You were completely unreasonable to complain about her. She was doing her job. She wasn't blatantly rude and she wasn't tactless. Yes, it's annoying when you just want to browse quietly but it doesn't warrant a complaint to her manager.

If you hadn't put any weight on recently would you still have complained? Honestly, would you have taken it personally when she asked you if you wanted a bigger size?

ArtexTheHallWithBoughsOfMonkey · 17/12/2013 12:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Floralnomad · 17/12/2013 12:57

Typical -AIBU practically unanimous YABU ,your response no I'm not ! Why bother to ask ,you obviously don't want the truth .

ProfondoRosso · 17/12/2013 12:58

Sorry, I know how uncomfortable (from experience), that can make you feel.

But I also know (from experience) that as a clothes shop assistant you are dealing with managers and targets on your back and, if you're not seen to be offering 'proper' customer service, there's a chance you'll get called into the office, demoralised and, if you're a temp, warned to pull your bootstraps up or you're not coming back after Christmas.

I would just let it go. I'm sure this girl will be upset, having been reported. But hopefully the manager will see that she was just following (ridiculous) protocol, which actually grates with more customers than it helps.

Camilletooze · 17/12/2013 12:59

She's just a young girl , possibly a student who was over helpful. She may have got into trouble as a result of

CustardoPaidforIDSsYFronts · 17/12/2013 13:00

before I complain about anyone, I have to be given really shit service

I always weigh this with the fact that my complaint might lose them their job

In your case, just before xmas, young girl or no, I would think to myself that I have no idea of her personal circumstances and she could really need this job or face any number of personal difficulties

Birdsgottafly · 17/12/2013 13:07

I knew what I was doing and definitely didn't need the input I was getting from this know it all shop assistant"

No you didn't, you were wrong, she was right, you got the size wrong.

If you had asked the knowledgable Shop Assistant, you would of had clothes to try on that fitted.

I was asking about sizing for slippers in La Senza, it is them that get the returns and customer feed back.

EverythingIsTinselyBaubleyBoo · 17/12/2013 13:08

I knew what I was doing and definitely didn't need the input I was getting from this know it all shop assistant.

Well you didn't know what you were doing as you had selected the wrong size, the 'know it all shop assistant' had correctly identified this and shock horror, actually tried to help you, and you complain about her Xmas Shock Poor girl!!

EverythingIsTinselyBaubleyBoo · 17/12/2013 13:09

Ooh hello Birds we have great minds!!!

BaconFrazzles · 17/12/2013 13:11

I've been into town this morning, and having had dealings with several very disinterested shop assistants (Debenhams and New Look), I would far rather be served by someone like the assistant you encountered.

I think you were out of order to report her

shouldnthavesaid · 17/12/2013 13:13

Both my flat mates work in retail, one for a high end bridal store and one for RI. Both would tell you that it's utterly soul destroying, they have to act in certain ways and say certain things. It's not a job I'd ever actively choose, flatmate 1 has to go out in cocktail dresses with heels and pristine make up/hair, flatmate 2 has to keep up a continual supply of RI clothing.. Both work long hours, weekends, evenings, Christmas, and one doesn't even get overtime pay, or anything close to a decent living wage..

It's not a job I'd ever choose. Half the time you are damned if you do, and damned if you don't.

Original poster
Vikki88 · 17/12/2013 13:20

Delurkedforthis Yes, I'm 25 but I think I'm allowed to call someone who's around 18 a "young girl". Not that that was really my point.

Birdsgottafly The difference with that is that you ASKED for help with sizing. I didn't want any & politely said so repeatedly and got ignored, which in turn led to what happened. No-one likes being pestered by staff so the only way this will change is by complaining, surely? That's without even mentioning how she made me feel.

Custardo I didn't ask for her to be sacked so that's a bit extreme.

TSSDNCOP If they didn't give it any thought, then that reflects terribly on them and is why so many customers are unhappy. I am not a nightmare customer, I don't make a habit of complaining but I felt I had to today. I'm sure other people will have felt the same.

OP posts:
oscarwilde · 17/12/2013 13:21

You were not unreasonable to be irritated, but you were unreasonable to make it personal about the shop assistant even if she was a little inept. You need to get a tougher skin there.

If you want to avoid repeating this experience the only way to do so is to complain to the store management via email about their script, the hard sell tactics and why you don't want to listen to Christmas carols in sodding September. Xmas Shock

I've worked in retail many moons ago before the "science of selling" really took hold. It is very easy to refuse assistance gracefully with a "Thank you for offering, I'd like to browse for now and I'll ask you if I need anything". Chances are, you will want to ask for something anyway.

These days with post preg pounds I'll also ask what size they recommend I try on. I might not like the answer but it certainly saves me a lot of time in the 10 mins flat I might have to buy an entirely new wardrobe.

AnnabelleLee · 17/12/2013 13:23

She wasn't blatantly rude. Sounds like you are though. And proper paranoid to boot.

Pagwatch · 17/12/2013 13:23

" I don't make a habit of complaining but I felt I had to today. I'm sure other people will have felt the same"

I think from this thread that actually not many would.

Bowlersarm · 17/12/2013 13:24

I'm sure other people will have felt the same.

Clearly you haven't bothered reading the comments on your thread, OP.

Lizzylou · 17/12/2013 13:25

Op, can I ask if ever someone gives you excellent service, do you speak to their Manager?
Because I always do. Dealing with the public is a thankless task and retail notoriously badly paid, this is a horrendously busy time of year.
Just as Custardo says, I would have to be treated pretty badly if I was to complain about a member of staff. But if someone goes above and beyond I always make sure it is recognised.

Bowlersarm · 17/12/2013 13:27

a young girl is not aged 18.

So yes, it was patronising to refer to her as such.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 17/12/2013 13:30

oh Lord you sound like hard work op.
Also stores take on casual staff at Christmas and retain some in the New Year, the decision on who to retain is often based on things like any complaints made about a particular individual.
So you may have harmed this individuals job prospects.
But I somehow doubt you care.

Sirzy · 17/12/2013 13:30

She was trying to help, I would much rather that than the shop assistants who simply can't be arsed.

Given how much sizes can vary from shop to shop it is useful that the staff are willing to help with things like grabbing the next size when needed.

HotCrossPun · 17/12/2013 13:31

You sound like an absolute nightmare.

If you are so sure YANBU then what is the point in even posting?

CustardoPaidforIDSsYFronts · 17/12/2013 13:33

no one asks for someone to be sacked, but it could be a logical consequence to a complaint

especially in a store that pays NMW to young girls who won't fight it

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 17/12/2013 13:33

Wankers like the op make me hope my dc's never have to work in retail. It must be soul destroying.