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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to have reported this RI shop assistant?

308 replies

Vikki88 · 17/12/2013 12:09

I went into my local River Island store today, knowing what I wanted to buy having seen the items online but wanting to try them on before buying. I had the usual “Do you need a hand with anything?” from the shop assistant but I told her I didn’t need any help and she went away.

After seeing me picking up what I wanted, she came back over & asked if I was ok – to which I obviously said yes, she’d only spoken to me 2 minutes ago. Not paying attention to my answer, she then ‘helpfully’ started pointing out other items which she thought were nice before adding that they’d suit me & possibly “even more” than what I had in my hands – all in that annoyingly false happy/enthusiastic voice. Now I can only say that the clothes she was trying to push me towards were frumpy, boring & not at all me. I bit my lip but to me her underlying thoughts were that I didn't have the figure to wear the clothes that I wanted to buy and should wear clothes which covered more… something which really is nothing to do with her.

Already feeling insulted, I ignored her & went to try on my clothes but not before she ‘helpfully’ added she could help me out if I needed any other sizes – we all know what she was insinuating with that. Anyway, I tried on my outfit & as it turns out I did need bigger sizes and I was perfectly willing to go and sort this myself without any fuss. However, as soon as I leave the changing room I see her and she asks, and I quote, “Were they alright for you? Do you need anything bigger?” and with that I’d had enough. I don’t come into shops for snarky comments or to be judged by staff. I said “no” and walked off… I felt too embarrassed to go & actually get the bigger sizes and to give this cow the satisfaction of being right. I did see her supervisor/manager as I was leaving & went over & reported her and she apologised on her behalf – I never report anyone but I thought she deserved it.

The shop assistant was a young girl but that doesn’t give her the right to be blatantly rude to customers. I’m very aware I’ve been putting on weight recently and don’t need people like her making me feel insecure about it. I wonder how many other customers this girl has offended with her lack of tact?

OP posts:
CiderBomb · 17/12/2013 12:41

Why would you report someone for being helpful? Yes it's annoying when shop assistants won't leave you alone, but a polite "no thanks" usually works. Remember she was just doing her job, probably for peanuts, she'd probably have got into trouble with her supervisor had she not approached you. As it is you've now this poor girl into trouble because your own body issues meant you misunderstood what she was doing.

Nancy66 · 17/12/2013 12:41

Sorry, completely agree with the others. You were out of line.

She clearly saw that you had selected clothes too small to fit you and knew you'd need bigger sizes.

freckledleopard · 17/12/2013 12:43

YABU. There is a distinct lack of good customer service in this country and this girl sounds like she was going out of her way to be attentive and helpful. The number of times I've wished a shop assistant would be available to fetch me a different size, or answer any questions- usually they stand around looking bored or chatting with their mates, totally ignoring the customer.

You're the one with the issues - maybe you should think about working on them, rather than criticising someone for doing their job Hmm

Floralnomad · 17/12/2013 12:43

YABU , I hope the supervisor realises that you are just a nightmare customer .

Original poster
Vikki88 · 17/12/2013 12:43

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Any doubts I have are more based on the fact that I never complain about people, so I've perhaps surprised myself that I allowed myself to get so annoyed by her. I do think that if I hadn't complained about her, someone else would have.

Birdsgottafly Lj8993 I am not a difficult customer. All I wanted was to be left alone as I'd asked, I knew what I was doing and definitely didn't need the input I was getting from this know it all shop assistant. Just because I might be insecure about my weight currently doesn't mean I have some kind of victim complex.

OP posts:
TheCraicDealer · 17/12/2013 12:44

Thanks for that Armadale, pretty much explains how retail staff are under tremendous amounts of pressure irt service provision. If anyone feels that that comes across as too much pressure or causes offence, they should address it with the store's head office. Not the poor shop assistant on minimum wage who will feel shit and probably get a bollocking from their manager for pissing off a customer.

This is why I didn't have much pity for the people in that Panaroma thing on Amazon. No customers, no manager asking, "why didn't you great that customer at the door? How many store cards have you got today?" "Why didn't you ask them if they wanted help?"... Heaven!

ASmidgeofMidge · 17/12/2013 12:44

Yabu-agree with previous posters. You're ascribing thoughts & feelings about your weight to this member of staff that simply weren't there.
Armadale - v interesting, I didn't know that was the reason for greeting customers on arrival. It drives me up the wall, but I can see the logic

snowed · 17/12/2013 12:44

She's probably been instructed to offer help to customers more than once. This company policy isn't her fault. I doubt she meant to be rude, however she could do with learning to be more tactful.

AnAdventureInCakeAndWine · 17/12/2013 12:45

What Armadale said -- she was probably required to offer you all that "help" or risk being marked down if you turned out to be a mystery shopper. It's not about you or what you look like, it's equal-opportunity annoyance.

So now you've reported her for doing her job the way she's been told to do it, and you can't see how you're to blame in any way?

Birdsgottafly · 17/12/2013 12:45

vikki, she was young, she was inexperienced and she was a bit over-keen. "

Inexperienced in what sense? And what does her being young have to do with it?

I ask my teens where I am best shopping for the changing seasons shapes, they are always right.

Going to town and trying on clothes is leisure past time for my girls and their friends (size 6-18).

Shop Assistants do get told how the different styles size up. It doesn't matter how old you are, experience in wearing clothes doesn't count.

I enjoy shopping with my girls, they get me to try things on, I wouldn't normally. Make up ranges also change.

TSSDNCOP · 17/12/2013 12:46

I think you are utterly U.

SHE WAS DOING HER JOB!!

if you've got a beef it's with RI management training their staff.

And here, have some fish to go with those chips.

angelos02 · 17/12/2013 12:46

Once she'd asked if you were OK and you'd said 'yes', she should have left you alone.

CiderBomb · 17/12/2013 12:46

BTW, I'd just like to add that I had no idea how rude people can be until I worked in retail. Some people are just fucking ignorant, don't bother saying please or thank you, pull things off the shelves and leave them on the floor, speaking to you like bits of shit on their shoes.

I think you can tell a lot about people from the way they treat those in the customer service industries.

ASmidgeofMidge · 17/12/2013 12:47

'know it all'? Xmas Hmm
This was shopping, OP

Delurkedforthis · 17/12/2013 12:47

Just because I might be insecure about my weight currently doesn't mean I have some kind of victim complex.

Sorry, but your OP screams the very reverse. Even on your own telling it sounds like the slaes assistant did nothing wrong and you were just very twitchy that day. It happens. In your place I would be phoning the store to say I overreacted/was having a bad day, but I doubt that you will think that reasonable.

TSSDNCOP · 17/12/2013 12:47

flora I'm betting the supervisor gave it precisely this much [] thought before going about her day.

MmeCinqAnneauxDor · 17/12/2013 12:47

I've worked in retail and know the pressure that sales assistants are put under. It is hell. One girl I know had 5 minute sales targets!

I think that you overreacted, tbh.

Armadale · 17/12/2013 12:48

ASmidgeofMidge, it isn't just the customers, the 60 sec greet drives the SA up the wall too!

Sometimes really obvious from someone's body language etc they don't want to be approached but you still have to do it.

TheCraicDealer · 17/12/2013 12:48

YY CiderBomb

Delurkedforthis · 17/12/2013 12:49

And I could be wrong (it happens Grin) but if your username is an indicator of your year of birth then from where I'm sitting you're pretty wet behind the eras yourself. What's that got to do with anything?

YoungBritishPissArtist · 17/12/2013 12:49

Whatever your feelings are about your size, it's unfair to project them onto others.

gobbynorthernbird · 17/12/2013 12:49

I fail to see how I'm to blame for anything
Oh, I dunno, getting someone told off for doing their job because you're oversensitive, possibly getting a mark on their record, making a stressful time even more so because you saw your arse...

Lizzylou · 17/12/2013 12:50

Yabu
You are obviously feeling sensitive and seeing insults where there weren't any.

FWIW, some 20 odd years ago I had a Christmas holiday job in same sort of store. It was far and away the worst job I have ever had, and I had some right awful jobs as a student.

Delurkedforthis · 17/12/2013 12:50

And absolutely from me too Ciderbomb

Armadale · 17/12/2013 12:50

cake and wine:

"It's not about you or what you look like, it's equal-opportunity annoyance."

Made me spill tea on the laptop snorting Grin