Things I only ever see on Mumsnet and never in RL

[HankyScore]

Wedding gift lists angst. I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where there wasn't a list. It's normal.

Parents who never have even a sniff of booze when their kids are in the house, and the angst over 'what if I need to drive them to hospital?'. Perhaps everyone I know is a raging alky, but it's just never come up as an issue.

Old ladies on the bus having a pop about breastfeeding/children/the yoof of today. Has never happened to me in all my eleven years of parenting. I only ever meet nice people on public transport. Perhaps I am just incredibly thick skinned and don't notice the judgy stares?

People giving much of a shit over BF/FF, or at least not once they are past their own days of feeding a baby.

There is more.

I'm off to think of some.

Well they are clearly Tory supporting, evil, daily mail readers

Well, if the cap fits... I am quite happy to accuse benefit bashers of being all these things in RL, face to face :).

And the achilles heel thing was, you know, a joke. Ligament? Achilles heel? Well, I thought it was pretty good.

people who use farrow and ball paint. £65 for five litres of something called elephants breath? Grey one assumes.

i once mentioned on a thread about someone wanting to tart up their kitchen before sale that we had bought some cream paint from Homebase (11 quid for 5 litres) and i would challenge anyone to spot the difference.

That was fun!

I don't think my mum ever attended a single school play or sports day. She was a bit busy and probably bored by them. I've coped.

I'd never have reminded of it because she'd have angrily denied it. She did have a selective memory

Actually I also cannot stand the Dear Children, Dear Husband acronyms

I agree.

The other week someone had put up a post about the problems they were having with their step children.

One idiot person responded that the fact they hadn't referred to them as their dear/darling stepchildren was telling. The implication being because she didn't use the saccharine Dear/darling prefix she didn't love them or was a shite stepmum

I don't refer to my wife as DW on here. It isn't because I don't love her, it is simply because I find it utterly nauseating.

I don't refer to my wife as DW on here. It isn't because I don't love her, it is simply because I find it utterly nauseating.

This.

I do use the DC thing because everybody else does but it does make me feel sick and I'm going to just type "child" in future.

people go onto twitter with the DC crap and it just looks a bit sad
just say s1 or d2

And dare anyone try to raise a discussion about the welfare state. Even if it's a ligament question. Well they are clearly Tory supporting, evil, daily mail readers that are just here to benefit bash and they want to see millions of children starve and on the streets

Well, the difference between a chat in RL and a thread on here, is that on here you will get facts with links to sources and people with actual first hand experience of the system, rather than the opinions and assumptions of someone in RL, which may or may not be near the truth.

If you wish to rant about the welfare state, talk to someone in RL.

If you wish to learn about the welfare state, start, read or post on a thread about it on MN.

You can of course rant about it on here, but don't expect it to go unchallenged/corrected.

Do you ride the bus in the city its full of nutt jobs and rude peple

when people ask for evidence as if its some kind of academic seminar

This elf on the shelf thing. Sounds bloody creepy.

The ever-lasting chickens.

Rude elderly people who criticise your parenting on the bus. Elderly people always say nice supportive things to me about my children, or say nothing. I do, however, end up making conversation with people who turn out to be stuck in the 1950s, and think they have the green light to regale me with casual racism.

I did once eavesdrop on a woman telling her friend about the fight she had with her ex's new girlfriend at school pick-up. Natually, facebook statuses had been the catalyst for this fight in front of the children. So it doesn't just happen on MN.

I do use the DC thing because everybody else does but it does make me feel sick and I'm going to just type "child" in future

Me too, I sometimes rebel and type out the full 'name' of the person concerned.

I'm happy to report I've never used "DH" or "DC". I loathe this so.

I have never received a gift list in a wedding invitation.

PMSL at greenfolder re. Farrow and Ball paint

I used that stuff once and it's as thin as piss, you need 15 coats to cover a pencil line. I love the evocative heritage titles that entice you to see past the hefty price tag. It's all about aspirations living so I'm told

aspirational

Did wonder wat the extra d meant in going with dependant it suits my fam more than dear

The competative love of red hair. All those threads that start 'x person made a horrible comment about my rehead DS' end in a competition of who loves gingers the most. I wish there were more of them in real life

And oh yes freddie the expectations of what Guides, Brownies, Cubs do are the most unrealistic I have ever seen!

when people ask for evidence as if its some kind of academic seminar

Yes, because god forbid that when somebody posts ill informed, unsubstantiated bollocks about ooh, I don't know, immigration or benefits somebody should ask them how they've reached their ridiculous conclusions...

Farrow and Ball paint = The Emperors new clothes of the decorating world.

Fools and their money...

Oh and everyone hates their HV here. I don't know anyone who hates them in real life. Mine was wonderful.

Oh yes. The irrational hatred of HV's. Mine was great too.

I don't know anyone who actually gives a stuff how many or what Christmas presents you get for your own children.

Even if its an iPad. Actually I don't know anyone who would care about kids being given techy stuff either

Farrow and Ball paint = The Emperors new clothes of the decorating world

Agreed. Absolute and utter mince their paint. Most professional decorators refuse to use it.

YY about the competitive ginger loving redexpat; my sister was on the verge of making her titian pfb wear a hat for ever because of all the 'sorry for your ginger' headtilts that she got in real life - had she only lived in MN world she would have been revered!!

Actually, I must confess that after all the stuff about Farrow and Ball, I am intrigued! If we ever become rich, and we buy a house with damp bits (obviously I would prefer a non-damp house), I will try F&B on the damp bits. See if it really does allow the walls to breathe.

'Cos Wilko's own isn't doing the damp here any good.

God forbid anyone just post anything they think or feel without substantiating those thoughts and feelings with peer supported evidence or encyclopaedic knowledge of the subject.

Because everyone I know in RL only talks about things they have qualifications in. Every other subject is off the table.