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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Things I only ever see on Mumsnet and never in RL

536 replies

HankyScore · 16/12/2013 10:18

Wedding gift lists angst. I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where there wasn't a list. It's normal.

Parents who never have even a sniff of booze when their kids are in the house, and the angst over 'what if I need to drive them to hospital?'. Perhaps everyone I know is a raging alky, but it's just never come up as an issue.

Old ladies on the bus having a pop about breastfeeding/children/the yoof of today. Has never happened to me in all my eleven years of parenting. I only ever meet nice people on public transport. Perhaps I am just incredibly thick skinned and don't notice the judgy stares?

People giving much of a shit over BF/FF, or at least not once they are past their own days of feeding a baby.

There is more.

I'm off to think of some.

OP posts:
monicalewinski · 16/12/2013 14:23

Compo, whilst you're back on the thread I need to tell you that I do actually have my 'semaphore badge' from when I was a brownie.

I am off to do some red-flag refresher training this afternoon, I think!

LittleBairn · 16/12/2013 14:24

Xmas Blush I admit I'm loo brush phobic. Drives my DH mad he doesn't believe others have the same issues.

Greensleeves · 16/12/2013 14:27

People eating salad with EVERY meal

pizza and salad, lasagne and salad, pasta and salad, jam roly poly with fucking salad

we do eat salad, we are not veg-dodgers, but every single "what's for dinner" thread makes me feel inadequate that we don't have salad with everything

sebsmummy1 · 16/12/2013 14:29

Green sleeves you are inviting comment now from a whole host of people who wish they could afford to have salad with every meal and you are fortunate to be able to consider implementing this, when they unfortunately cannot.

DorothyParker1 · 16/12/2013 14:29

*God forbid anyone just post anything they think or feel without substantiating those thoughts and feelings with peer supported evidence or encyclopaedic knowledge of the subject.

Because everyone I know in RL only talks about things they have qualifications in. Every other subject is off the table.*

Errr, I think there is a difference between asking somebody to have a degree in a subject before commenting and expecting they will have some very basic knowledge of what they're commenting on. I'm thinking of the large number of posters who complain, for example, that there are too many immigrants without actually having ANY knowledge of the extent of immigration in this country, the economic impact etc. etc. Just basically spouting ill informed tripe they've heard other people say. Making massive claims (like "there are too many immigrants" or "we can't afford the welfare bill") when you know literally nothing about these issues is irritating and I think people should expect to be picked up on it. I haven't seen many MN members demand that others cite a range of academic articles, but I have seen them ask for a bit of basic evidence to support a contentious claim. Nothing wrong with that.

kaymondo · 16/12/2013 14:29

The competitive threads over how little you can leave the house with, ie I have 13 children and leave the house with a nappy and half a tissue in my pocket, can't understand why anyone needs a change bag - and usually on threads where people are asking for recommendations for changes bags, if you don't use one, why post!

I do not know 1 parent in real life who doesn't use a change bag for first couple of years a least!

HanneHolm · 16/12/2013 14:29

Freaks who refuse to cut their kids (normally boys) "lovely curls" that actually look like ratty piles of crap.

Obv the girls get haircuts regular like

HanneHolm · 16/12/2013 14:30

I give footnotes when talking about everything obv.

Not just recirved wisdom like all of us ;)

2Tinsellytocare · 16/12/2013 14:31

I've never heard the term 'apologist' anywhere except MN.

OP's being called judgey when saying they heard someone calling their child a cunt etc etc, 'oh it's just a snapshot of their liiiife, that's how some people show affection'

People slagging people off for not being a SAHM or being a SAHM, but I would add that last time I looked it is working, as A SAHM I often work nights too!

People prizing pets over their own DC!

YY to sycophancy of complete strangers

LittlePeaPod · 16/12/2013 14:32

You see even just mentioning the welfare system on here raises a response. Thankfully I have never raised a benefit thread so I don't have to worry about it. Bt it always amuses me when someone does. Also first time I came across the phrase benefit bashing was in MN. Not a phase generally used in RL.

One idiot person responded that the fact they hadn't referred to them as their dear/darling stepchildren was telling. The implication being because she didn't use the saccharine Dear/darling prefix she didn't love them or was a shite stepmum

Simply brilliant. Ha ha ha Grin

LittlePeaPod · 16/12/2013 14:32

You see even just mentioning the welfare system on here raises a response. Thankfully I have never raised a benefit thread so I don't have to worry about it. Bt it always amuses me when someone does. Also first time I came across the phrase benefit bashing was in MN. Not a phase generally used in RL.

One idiot person responded that the fact they hadn't referred to them as their dear/darling stepchildren was telling. The implication being because she didn't use the saccharine Dear/darling prefix she didn't love them or was a shite stepmum

Simply brilliant. Ha ha ha Grin

HanneHolm · 16/12/2013 14:33

Plus. No one ever allowed to get pissed off with their mates.

"Some friend you are" etc

MummyPigsFatTummy · 16/12/2013 14:35

Sadly, the bit about expectations of Cub leaders etc. does chime with me in RL. I was a leader for a short while but have friends who have been leaders for years. It doesn't happen often luckily, but they have definitely been at the receiving end of occasional parental meltdowns when children have returned home with dirty clothes from Cub camp for example. I mean what is Cub camp for if not to get your clothes dirty?

daisychain01 · 16/12/2013 14:36

People with angst and anxiety attacks about giving their 5 year old DC a tablet that isnt Apple in case it doesn't meet their little darling's approval and they reject it, so it lies forgotten and languishes in the toy cupboard (if such a thing still exists).

Eki-thump, I was lucky to get a tangerine at the age of 5!

DorothyParker1 · 16/12/2013 14:36

Also first time I came across the phrase benefit bashing was in MN. Not a phase generally used in RL

Oh please. A simple google search will show you how widely this term is used.

sebsmummy1 · 16/12/2013 14:36

Dorothy I know that's the contention, however I rarely see these posts that many seem to think proliferate the boards.

The way posters are immediately admonished for mentioning countless of subjects is breath taking on here. All it takes is one nasty reply and it's like a pack mentality takes over. In RL it would be called bullying, on here it's called reeducating the misinformed.

meddie · 16/12/2013 14:37

Rofl about cub camp. I was wondering if it was even worth [acking more than one pair of underpants for my sons week long trip. i never expected 6 dirty pairs back ever

MummyPigsFatTummy · 16/12/2013 14:37

But some stuff on here I am surprised about - have people really not ever sent or received a thank you letter for a child's birthday present? I am very slow at getting them done but I do do them.

And never receving a gift list in a wedding invitation? I am amazed - I guess it must be the different circles we all move in.

friday16 · 16/12/2013 14:38

I'm thinking of the large number of posters who complain, for example, that there are too many immigrants without actually having ANY knowledge of the extent of immigration in this country,

See here for IPSOS-Mori poll on "the top 10 things we get wrong"

  1. Immigration and ethnicity: the public think that 31% of the population are immigrants, when the official figures are 13%[viii]. Even estimates that attempt to account for illegal immigration suggest a figure closer to 15%. There are similar misperceptions on ethnicity: the average estimate is that Black and Asian people make up 30% of the population, when it is actually 11% (or 14% if we include mixed and other non-white ethnic groups)[ix].
HanneHolm · 16/12/2013 14:38

Sebsmumy- but Xmas tradition threads?;)

thebody · 16/12/2013 14:40

cat shit, apparently it's all over gardens everywhere and blinding children in a regular basis!

anyone actually giving a fucking flying shit whether anyone else breast feeds or formula feeds.

anyone who limits the amount of screen time their kids have. actually met one who didn't have a tv in RL and their kid was never invited to tea as he downy the whole time watching the tv at other people's houses.

anyone anywhere who actually says 'play date'.

sebsmummy1 · 16/12/2013 14:42

The best example I read of judgey pants was the poster who dared suggest that cold garlic bread and chips wasn't the best lunch for one of the nursery children she had observed that day and did anyone agree.

Well of course no one agreed and the consensus was she should wind her middle class neck in and keep the cuntibg hell out.

I would be very interested to read what her replies would have been had she posted that she had sent her daughter into nursery with a cold Bhuna from the local takeaway because the DM Grin was late that morning and did anyone think that was wrong? I imagine she would have been hung up for it.

Daddypigsgusset · 16/12/2013 14:43

Answering requests for favours with 'that does not work for me' rather than 'sorry, I won't be able to make it' DO NOT APOLOGISE EVER!

wigglesrock · 16/12/2013 14:43

No, if my child has a party with school friends - we say thank you when we get a present, again when they leave & I would sent a quick text that evening. We see our families a few times a week, the kids see them on their birthday, lots of hugs & kisses & thank yous in person - I really don't send a thank you card as well & I've always given presents in person so really not sure why a thank you card would be needed Smile

I've 2 kids in primary school, one in pre-school, several nieces & nephews, most of my friends have kids & not one birthday thank you letter/card between us & some of them are terribly naice. Maybe it's just not done where I am. Certainly we didn't write them as kids.

HoneyStepMummy · 16/12/2013 14:44

Competetive poverty. Threads and threads about how people are outraged that they are being asked to donate 2p to their kids school/teacher's Xmas gift fund.
Endless batch cooking as a solution to being stressed and overwhelmed- as if a big Tupperware dish of freezer burnt chili con carne is going to make life any easier.
Lots of LTB comments if anyone's DH dares to be a grown up with sexual needs or desires to out to the pub for a pint with his mates. If someone's DH suggests sex more than once a year it's "rape" and LTB. If the poor bloke resorts to porn then he's a perv so LTB.
Competetive SN kids. In RL I do not know anyone with SN kids apart from myself.
There was a thread where a mum thought it a bit rude that kids turn up completely empty handed to a kid's birthday party. Someone said even if the parents are really broke surely the kid could make a card themselves...the outlash was that "some people can't afford paper. Surely it's more important the kids show up to have a good time"