Things I only ever see on Mumsnet and never in RL

[HankyScore]

Wedding gift lists angst. I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where there wasn't a list. It's normal.

Parents who never have even a sniff of booze when their kids are in the house, and the angst over 'what if I need to drive them to hospital?'. Perhaps everyone I know is a raging alky, but it's just never come up as an issue.

Old ladies on the bus having a pop about breastfeeding/children/the yoof of today. Has never happened to me in all my eleven years of parenting. I only ever meet nice people on public transport. Perhaps I am just incredibly thick skinned and don't notice the judgy stares?

People giving much of a shit over BF/FF, or at least not once they are past their own days of feeding a baby.

There is more.

I'm off to think of some.

Agree with pretty much everything here - but I think certain things are easier to discuss here than IRL so it's bound to happen. Bf/ff isn't something most people outside of HVs etc would dream of commenting on, but on MN people get to vent.

I think 'toxic' has just become a catch all term for some genuine problems, which isn't always helpful. We are 'nc' with some relatives and with good reason, but that is considered weird in RL, not on MN it would seem, so I'm more likely to discuss it here precisely because people won't be horrified.

I do not drink at home unless I know someone else is sober to take the kids to hospital.

Likewise. I call the sober person "the ambulance driver", and he has a special easy-to-remember telephone number I can dial, too.

People who whip themselves up into a hysterical rage about what part their child has been allocated in a reception class nativity play.

People who whip themselves up into a hysterical rage if a teacher dares tell their naughty child to stop being naughty ("IT'S HUMILIAAATION!" "Oh I KNOW! Poor YOU OP! Things like this LIVE WITH OUR DC FOR EVER! I remember when Miss X was HORRID to me when I was 6 and I've NEVER GOT OVER IT!").

Why is mumsnet so out of sync with our real lives?

@Friday

It took me a minute to get your post Friday - I was all , then I was - I must sharpen up!

I forgot to mention "I'm not going to have my children vaccinated as I don't want something toxic going inside their precious little bodies"

I think the internet amplifies the petty annoyances of life.

It also provides a meeting place for people with unusual beliefs, opinions and practices. Most people who don't share them, or don't feel hugely strongly, can't be arsed to post in response so you get quite a skewed version of reality.

Oh and all the vomit inducing baby talk. I mean, you do see it in RL but not nearly as much as on here.

"Somebody is a sad mummy" WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON?

"I luffs him" ARRRGHHH

"My ickle man" I WANT TO KILL YOU

Endless others I can't even bring myself to write down.

to friday16

And agree with the competitive chicken meal making. However I do know several people who have bought 4/5 prams and have never understood it.

Elf on the shelf/christmas hampers

Class reps/contact lists for classmates parents/collections for teachers (DDs school clearly not well organised)

SAH vs WOH angst

BF/FF angst

Babybjorn horror

Children in tears over nursery/CM/after school club attendance

Random rudeness of strangers, particularly on public transport

Not drinking at home in case of emergencies

Screams of 'entitled' if you use/would like to use family for childcare

Got the MN Legend that is The Checkout Rage Bitch yesterday. She had 3 items in her trolley so after~ giving her a nice gap OH started to put things on the belt. CRB tutting and grimacing began shoving our shopping back and back with the little plastic thing, til she had a fully clear belt for her 3 items.

We were in stitches, which infuriated the CRB even more. She hissed, "It's a good job I haven't got a full trolley isn't it?"

Till lady told her to calm down and apologised to us. She actually said, "Dont worry about her, look she's a Daily Mail reader".

If I'd posted about half the arguments that had gone on in my marriage over the years and followed the general attitude on here:

We'd be bankrupt due to counselling costs
We'd be passive aggressive abusers
We'd be aggressive abusers
We'd be controlling
We'd believe we were sex addicts
We'd be selfish
I'd be a lazy SAHM with no life
Hubby would be using me as a slave
I'd be seen as a victim
He'd be seen as a victim
We'd be divorced!

Nobody with a happy marriage in real life has ever seen twatty behaviour as anything other than a bad day, it's not sinister or a red flag. Those that do see it this way because they are projecting and it's no wonder they are divorced.

Sycophantic fawning over absolute strangers.

Arf @ she's a daily mail reader.

Actually I also cannot stand the Dear Children, Dear Husband acronyms. They are horrible American but all over message boards so I tolerate it and even sometimes use them

That is hilarious DingDong

I know these crazy parents exist, my SIL and DB are one. Apparently all the other parents think they are crazy.

Complain a lot about someone parking in front of your house - check
Complain loudly to the school about petty things e.g. your DS didnt change his clothes on an overnight trip with the school and the teacher didn't make him, even though he is 10. - check
Insist extended family go to all school plays and get there early to save seats for them - check
Tell anyone off loudly who you do not think should be using P&T spaces, including disabled people - check

etc, etc.

But I suspect if my SIL is on a parenting forum it will be netmums.

sebsmummy1 totally agree

People who need to be told what to buy from Aldi or Lidl, or from a supermarket value range. It's not that big of a risk to try a different yoghurt for one week. Also people who plan a trip to ikea and then ask for recommendations on what to buy. Why would you going you don't know anything about the store or what you could buy there?

People who correct the teacher's grammar on their child's homework, or the doctor's grammar on a medical report.

People who think bread has to much salt for young children, and yogurt has too much sugar.

Insist extended family go to all school plays and get there early to save seats for them

Which brings up another "exists only on MN" type: people who, when invited to waste spend an evening watching their second cousin's school play, are unable to say "no thanks, I'm afraid we won't be going" without creating some huge drama.

I think the problem is when parents bring children up with the expectation that of course certain relatives will attend plays, etc, the children do actually get disappointed if you dont go. I don't give a toss about the adults involved.

Also don't forget all those women whose partner/husband isn't bothered about a joint account. Well they should LB, his obviously not committed (even if you have been together years) and his controlling.

And dare anyone try to raise a discussion about the welfare state. Even if it's a ligament question. Well they are clearly Tory supporting, evil, daily mail readers that are just here to benefit bash and they want to see millions of children starve and on the streets.

Total agree with the DC/DC comment above.

People who complain about Beaver/Cub/Scout/other organisations run by volunteers because they were late back from camp/didn't change their underwear for the weekend/aren't doing enough badges/whatever

Put up or shut up

And dare anyone try to raise a discussion about the welfare state. Even if it's a ligament question.

Well, that's the achilles heel of politics, isn't it?

It is but in RL people can at least have a discussion about it. On MN people start handing out [biscuits] and chocolate medals. Crazy!