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Original poster

Things I only ever see on Mumsnet and never in RL

536 replies

HankyScore · 16/12/2013 10:18

Wedding gift lists angst. I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where there wasn't a list. It's normal.

Parents who never have even a sniff of booze when their kids are in the house, and the angst over 'what if I need to drive them to hospital?'. Perhaps everyone I know is a raging alky, but it's just never come up as an issue.

Old ladies on the bus having a pop about breastfeeding/children/the yoof of today. Has never happened to me in all my eleven years of parenting. I only ever meet nice people on public transport. Perhaps I am just incredibly thick skinned and don't notice the judgy stares?

People giving much of a shit over BF/FF, or at least not once they are past their own days of feeding a baby.

There is more.

I'm off to think of some.

OP posts:
CalamitouslyWrong · 17/12/2013 10:37

Limited: why didn't she just buy dishwasher safe pots, if she needed to wash the in one? Confused

I whack everything in the dishwasher. If it doesn't survive, it just wasn't meant to be in my kitchen. I hate washing up.

MylesKennedysVocalCords · 17/12/2013 10:47

C

MylesKennedysVocalCords · 17/12/2013 10:47

C

mumofboyo · 17/12/2013 10:49

Every time someone complains about their unputdownable baby there's an army of people who respond suggesting they should use a sling. Now, I'm not dissing the sling - far from it - because for many people I'm sure it's a godsend but I keep thinking, this person wants to put their baby down and have ten mins to have a cuppa and a piss in peace: how does a sling help with that? I've never seen anyone use a sling/wrap.

People who seem to be unable to go against the guidelines for feeding/weaning as though they're rules rather than suggestions; I've read posts where people are afraid to offer their 23 week old baby solid food even though they're showing a definite interest in it simply because the guidelines state 26 weeks is the ideal. I feel like screaming, "It's your baby, you know your baby better than anyone else, why not trust your own judgment???" Everyone I know weaned their children from 4-5 months using spoons and pureed food without a problem, including me (dd was 16 weeks; dd was 25 weeks). With both dc it took 2 weeks to get from an all milk diet to 4 meals + puddings and 2 bottles (yes, I ff my children), yet on here the weaning process seems to go on for months. Yes, I'm secretly judging when I read it. Yes, I'm probably doing it wrong in many people's eyes Hmm.

MylesKennedysVocalCords · 17/12/2013 10:50

Arrrgh phone went mad! What I meant to say is, I never wore a sling, wouldn't have dreamt of wearing one- I like to show my outfit off! shoot me now!

babygrows were nightwear for mine.

CalamitouslyWrong · 17/12/2013 10:57

The sling thing is suggested because it means you get your arms free, so you get to have the bloody cup of tea at all. its a pragmatic suggestion for when what you actually want isn't a possibility.

mumofboyo · 17/12/2013 10:58

I don't have a dishwasher or tumble dryer (we have no space for either). Instead I wash the pots in the sink and dry my clothes on the washing line and/or radiators and airer. I did recently buy a spin dryer after reading a recommendation on here though.

I do have a mooncup; I bought it before I started reading mn and I loved it. But then I had a vbac with dd and now have a bucket fanny prolapse and it doesn't feel 'right' any more so I just use sanitary towels again.

I don't know of anyone with nightmare in-laws; we all just seem to get on. I even socialise with my dsis' in-laws and have them as friends on fb.

OpalTourmaline · 17/12/2013 10:59

Limited Don't you know that if you dry things on an airer indoors instead of a tumbler you are condemning your family to terrible diseases. In MN world you are anyway. Wink

CalamitouslyWrong · 17/12/2013 11:04

I'm always confused about how anyone can be certain they don't know any mooncup users. I have no idea what kind of sanitary protection my friends, colleagues and acquaintances use because it really isn't something that comes up in conversation.

PrincessScrumpy · 17/12/2013 11:04

Surprised about the sling thing - everyone I know uses them but we live in the country so pushchairs aren't the easiest things to get over kissing gates, plus with twins I could pick them both up - one in sling and one in my arms. People I know with slings also have pushchairs - it's not an either or thing just practical.

The rest I generally agree with, although I did have random people come up and say stupid things when I had twins - seems to attract them.

Just shown dh a moon cup - his face was a picture. :)

autumnsmum · 17/12/2013 11:07

Ah mum of another one here who weaned with spoons and purées dd1 is 14 and when she was a baby there was an advert for petit filous with a baby being fed in a bouncy chair quelle horreur

thebody · 17/12/2013 11:08

mumofboyo yes yes to slings and weaning.

babies do actually need to learn to be out down and I still know no one who waited 6 months to give a healthy baby solid food. not saying there arnt just that I have never met one.

woollytights · 17/12/2013 11:08

Getting the least amount of things possible for a new baby. One pack of plain white sleepsuits, one pack of plain white vests. Preferably from a charity shop. Literally nothing else because it's all shit and a waste of money.

Entire families who only wash once or twice per week in plain warm water otherwise they'd all break out in thrush/rashes/leprosy. Of course, DH used to use soap and shower every day but the poster soon put right that indulgence. Going NC with MIL helped too! And of course, none of them smell Hmm.

The summer fashion threads. The only acceptable thing to wear in summer is apparently loose cream linen shorts or trousers and a loose long sleeved white cotton shirt. Anyone daring to have any element of their personal style incorporated into their outfit looks idiotic, compared to MNers who've just stepped off the front of a Kuoni brochure.

Perfect diets. Cold meats, cheeses and crudites for dinner. A lunchbox consisting of a couple of bits of pepper, a babybel and a cracker, with people still suggesting taking the babybel out. I'd be starving. Only tap water to drink, ever.

Little boys in tutus. It's always a tutu as well, even better if it's Hello Kitty. I never even see girls in them.

Scented sanitary towels being an enormous scandal. Especially when they smell like "air freshener". Does air freshener not smell nice?!

thebody · 17/12/2013 11:11

calamatiously I asked all my friends, family and work colleagues. I know that's wierd but just had to know. no one without exception had heard of a moon cup.

autumnsmum · 17/12/2013 11:18

Absolute hysteria calling for campaigns about babies and toddlers with pierced ears

TinyTear · 17/12/2013 11:32

Er, I waited till 6 months to give solids... welll 5 months 3 weeks... and I am real

desertmum · 17/12/2013 11:43

well my son did wear a tutu (I would post a photo but would get slated in case there were peadophiles watching MN) - it was pink and his sisters (she did ballet). Not a big problem to me - he also had his toe nails painted one day - again not an issue for me. He is what he is and all is good because he is 'in touch with his feminine side' - I wonder if he's heard of mooncups. lolol

thebody · 17/12/2013 11:43

tiny no your on mumsnet not RL so obviously you arnt real at all. Grin

TinyTear · 17/12/2013 11:54

boooooo

I'm a ghost!

happygirl87 · 17/12/2013 11:58

Great thread, agree with most of these(esp wedding lists!), but can't believe no one here has problem in-laws?! Not toxic, narcissistic etc etc in laws, but just annoying ones, who are a bit interefering and occasionally do something that makes you feel not quite good enoguh for their pfb? I do, as do many of my friends (esp one in particular who has had to move in with her PILs for 18 months Xmas Shock)

2Tinsellytocare · 17/12/2013 11:59

Toddlers being described as vicious thugs

Spaulding · 17/12/2013 12:31

I don't have a tumble dryer. I didn't even realise that was a "thing" on MN. I have no room for one.

Another MN thing is the disbelief at any mother who, God forbid, wants to go out and drink with her friends once in a blue moon. I go on a night out once every four months, drink cocktails, dance like a lunatic, and come home at 3am with chips from the kebab shop. This doesn't make me a bad mother. DS will either be at my parents or DP is more than happy to get up with him in the morning and is just happy I had a good night with my friends.

Also don't understand the almost "LTB" comments on here if a DH or DP has the audacity to go on a rare night out with his friends. As if we're all confined to our homes and not be ourselves once we have children. We must never go out and have fun for a night.

I hadn't heard of Elf on a Shelf until MN. And the whole thing creeps me out. love the idea of Christmas Eve hampers though

ephemeralfairy · 17/12/2013 12:54

The toilet brush horror!

ephemeralfairy · 17/12/2013 12:55

i don't understand how the fuck you clean a toilet without using a toilet brush.

iliketea · 17/12/2013 13:00

I've know the bf/ff thing in real life. I ff from birth and a mother at a baby group I went to (only once!) told me that she thought I was selfish giving my then 8week old dd bottles of formula, and asked I had not known how important it was to breast feed ShockShock. I never brought up the subject of feeding, she did while we were chatting about normal trivial nonsense (as you do when you are trying to make new friends as a new mum).

I left and never went back to that group; in fact I should have told her to fuck off and mind her own damn business.