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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Things I only ever see on Mumsnet and never in RL

536 replies

HankyScore · 16/12/2013 10:18

Wedding gift lists angst. I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where there wasn't a list. It's normal.

Parents who never have even a sniff of booze when their kids are in the house, and the angst over 'what if I need to drive them to hospital?'. Perhaps everyone I know is a raging alky, but it's just never come up as an issue.

Old ladies on the bus having a pop about breastfeeding/children/the yoof of today. Has never happened to me in all my eleven years of parenting. I only ever meet nice people on public transport. Perhaps I am just incredibly thick skinned and don't notice the judgy stares?

People giving much of a shit over BF/FF, or at least not once they are past their own days of feeding a baby.

There is more.

I'm off to think of some.

OP posts:
dustarr73 · 17/12/2013 13:28

Heres another one i thought of.Im going on holiday with my 14 year old,will i need a buggy.Seriously where i am most kids are out of prams at 3 or 4.It looks weird if you see a big child of about 7 in a pram.[sn aside]

limitedperiodonly · 17/12/2013 13:33

i don't understand how the fuck you clean a toilet without using a toilet brush

Any shit above the waterline gets wiped off immediately with a wodge of toilet paper.

Anything below the waterline may stay because it usually dislodges. If not, rubber gloves and a firm scrub with a wodge of cotton wool that gets thrown in a bin.

Cleaning limescale or general stains is a weekly or so job for rubber gloves and a scrubbing brush which then gets bleached. If I haven't got gloves I'll make do with a brush, a bare hand and a good wash with hot soapy water.

I don't mind limescale but I really can't be doing with keeping a brush with shit-caked bristles.

limitedperiodonly · 17/12/2013 13:35

Oh, I don't leave submerged shit for other people to see, but if I'm going to be on my own for a while I might just see whether it'll go without me having to scrub it.

SatinSandals · 17/12/2013 13:54

I am with you on the birth plans,shineypeacock. I had never had a baby before, how could I have a plan,let alone one that goes into minute detail?!
I went with the flow and had 3 lovely, natural births, without a plan of any description.

monicalewinski · 17/12/2013 14:25

I'm with woolytights, everything she said. Also,

I weaned with puree at under 4 months, all day bottles stopped at 6 months, all bottles gone by 1st b'day.

I stopped sterilising everything at 6 months.

I didn't 'wear' I had a lovely pram and then a buggy.

I didn't co-sleep, they were in their own rooms at 6 months.

I let them go out to play with the other kids in the cul-de-sac on their own from about 3 or 4.

I dry stuff on the radiator or in the tumble dryer - I never ever hang washing out on the line.

I didn't babyproof anything in my house (apart from a lock on the cupboard with the bleach etc in).

I go out and get drunk when I want to, as does my husband.

I am so glad I didn't have internet when my kids were babies, I would have had a nervous breakdown!

BoyFromTheBigBadCity · 17/12/2013 14:56

Only on MN are you apparently not allowed to be friends with a man. Especially if you work with him. It is perfectly reasonable for said man's wife, or your own partner to be suspicious of anything beyond cold civility with another man. and vice versa.

being under 25 makes you obviously irresponsible, naive and a flibbertigibit if you don't have children (that we know of), but the complete opposite if you do. (Not to put down young mums at all - more that the childless are not all idiots!)

thebody · 17/12/2013 15:01

monicalewinski fantastic post and so sgree. Grin

Golddigger · 17/12/2013 15:26

It has been established on another thread last week that there are a group of mooncup wearing, child sling wearing, bf peer supporting, receive poems for money for wedding present, have other people's cat poo in their garden problem, no toilet brush, no shoes on in house people on mumsnet.
No one has ever seen them in rl. They exist purely on mumsnet!

Gileswithachainsaw · 17/12/2013 15:41

Do you think David Attenborough would do a documentary on said rare species? :o

Lazyjaney · 17/12/2013 15:51

Am loving this thread, I feel the group wisdom - will take strength when next on a thread with a bunch of people busy losing their heads!

monicalewinski · 17/12/2013 16:04

Just thought of another:

"Should I have a Christmas tree? DC is crawling/toddling - if I do, how will I protect DC?"

I thought this was only on MN until I saw my friend's picture on fb of her tree.

Not only is her tree in a playpen in the corner, everything in the background is covered up - fireguard round her tv stand as well.

I am getting quite unnerved because it clearly isn't 'just on MN', it is sneaking closer and closer into my actual life.

I am afraid. Confused

thebody · 17/12/2013 16:10

hope your friends child is very careful in the garden.

evil cats specifically target houses with toddlers so they can blind them with cat shit. well known fact on mumsnet.

she may need to cat proof her garden

MummyPigsFatTummy · 17/12/2013 16:13

Ha ha Monica - loving the idea of a fireguard around your TV - how terrifying!

I do remember visiting a friend of my parents when one of her children was crawling still and my Mum saying they were chatting on the sofa while the little one crawled about the room (we older ones were off playing). All of a sudden my Mum noticed the frankly enormous Christmas tree in the corner start to wobble and sure enough the baby/toddler had managed somehow to overbalance it. My Mum and her friend got up just in time before it crashed down onto the sofa and had to go hunting for the child under the branches. He was fine thank goodness , but my Mum was quite shaken up (don't know about the child's Mum - she was made of quite strong stuff IIRC).

So I do sort of get the Christmas tree fear thing.

I don't have a tumble dryer either.

3asAbird · 17/12/2013 16:14

This thread is comedy gold.

ok observations around mumsnet.

predominatly london south east.

as dont kow anyone whos au pair eats too much or even has an au pair.

Or looks round several pretigious private schools and never realised there was a 4+.

The other regions there must be few of us.

See lots posts on aibu around being outraged/fuming never tamping so maybe not many welsh mumsnetters.

I do wonder if mm making me more socialist although still wont vote labour, I cant stand the guardian and I dont think gove is the devil incarnate like my dd1teacher does.

I have a dryer no room for dishwasher
I own more than 1 buggy
i breastfed and sometimes carried them nut never said i wore my baby.
I never used or know anyone else whos used moon cup.
Heard about elf on shelf from fb freinds who met on another mummy forum.
I use the word hubby but try not too so much as apparently its very netmums, im not a stepford wife im crap at housework. I totally hate it too ad over top santa visits in nov, tree up in nov s, smug itemised lists that their xmas shopping nearly done.

Im a sahm not through choice as childcare for 2under 5s too expensive.
I never been grammer school or no anyone under my mams age who has.

Im not driver learning painfully, I do get pedestrian rage over cars not stopping at zebra crossings , speeding, parking too close to junctions and being selfish even the parents and has nyone mentioned word that can start a thread going mad is 4 by 4s and tossers who drive them!

I think theres more threads from motorists and parking threads than pedestrians.

People in rl treat me like im odd lesser person as dont drive.

schools pick local op as convieniance is everything better a shite school than no school.

Angst about school plays and book bands-I totally understand.

I think parents just not as honest in rl and pretend they not interested its above them they dont understand had mate like that what do nc levels mean again as mines got a 3 in year 2!
She also used to look in freinds book bags see what level other kids on and another mum used to voluntree to help so she knew reading levels other kids in class were on.

No one used pfb in real life.
Love the word goady mother fucker.
The word entitled comes up a lot
i love it when get you dont sound like a very nice person op reminds me being 5 again.
Political correctness and the skirting round of the word chav used to be known as townie when i was growing up on mumsnet its always deprived or working class.

The word precios reminds me golum.

Mumsnet seems more fixated with class than in rl

I do like drink and go out with mates every few months.

aldis is the new waitrose these days,

Most i can get out of a chicken is 3meals and thats pushing it.

I did a stint on ptfa and preschool commmitee so seen the politics behind the scenes.

At old school saw cliqeyness and bithy behaviour at school gate no fights though.

Im frequently late get places even if ready night before, leave house on time as toddler trows tantrum have to peel him of pavement selfish parents not letting me cross rd.

bluecheeseforbreakfast · 17/12/2013 16:15

I have never met anyone snooty or cliquey (sp?) at a baby/toddler group.

I have never met anyone irl who gets het up about spelling and grammar, actually I have, my ex-sil prides herself on her immaculate spelling and grammar skills, unfortunately it is her only redeeming feature. I should rephrase that as I have no friends irl who get upset about spelling and grammar.

SPsWantsCliffInHerStocking · 17/12/2013 16:24

People restricting TV. On here all kids watch 5 seconds of countdown the last Friday of every month.

I have got pissed til I have thrown up but only drink rarely. That is frowned upon but drinking every night is not.

The whole colour of toys thing. Some girls like pink and some boys like blue. So what?! No one I know in RL gives a shit and is capable of finding things in shops even if it is in girl/boy sections

SPsWantsCliffInHerStocking · 17/12/2013 16:26

Oh and Elf On The Shelf.

What kind of creepy shite is that?! Never heard of it til.here and I'm grateful

DontmindifIdo · 17/12/2013 16:30

monicalewinski - I have friends in RL who put the tree in the baby cage play pen, but it's to protect the tree from the toddler, not to protect the toddler from the tree. (Wish I'd done it, DS seems determined to strip all the decorations from ours )

bluecheeseforbreakfast · 17/12/2013 16:32

Don't people just tell their children not to touch the tree? My 12 month old knows not to touch the tree, he walks up to it, says Woooow! and then shakes his finger like we do when we tell him not too touch.

DontmindifIdo · 17/12/2013 16:34

Oh, DS knows he's not supposed to take the decorations off the tree, so he waits until I'm in the other room. There were 3 decorations hidden inside his rescue helicopter this morning.

thebody · 17/12/2013 16:37

we had a Christmas tree hook that dh used every year to rope the tree or else the dss pulled it down. it was their favourite past time.

the dds never needed the hook. but they also preferred the pink isle at TRUs so to be honest we probably gender brainwashed them anyway. Grin

iliketea · 17/12/2013 16:47

The Christmas tree in the playpen is a great idea - protecting the tree and the presents from toddler and cat. I did it while we still had a playpen. Stopped dd eating all the chocolate when my back was turned and stopped the cats using the baubles as cat-toys.

monicalewinski · 17/12/2013 17:09

DontmindifIdo, Grin at the rescue helicopter.

It's the cat that's been the little shit with our tree - the kids never messed with it. We got the little madam last year and she spent most of Christmas being sprayed with water, this year is going the same way. I may buy a baby cage! I'm totally not, it would mess with the tastefully festive elegance vibe I have going on

NotYoMomma · 17/12/2013 17:11

seems monicalewinski is actually me

bluecheeseforbreakfast · 17/12/2013 17:12

Iliketea your son is very wise! I don't think my ds is at the developmental stage of being sneeky yet!