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Original poster

Things I only ever see on Mumsnet and never in RL

536 replies

HankyScore · 16/12/2013 10:18

Wedding gift lists angst. I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where there wasn't a list. It's normal.

Parents who never have even a sniff of booze when their kids are in the house, and the angst over 'what if I need to drive them to hospital?'. Perhaps everyone I know is a raging alky, but it's just never come up as an issue.

Old ladies on the bus having a pop about breastfeeding/children/the yoof of today. Has never happened to me in all my eleven years of parenting. I only ever meet nice people on public transport. Perhaps I am just incredibly thick skinned and don't notice the judgy stares?

People giving much of a shit over BF/FF, or at least not once they are past their own days of feeding a baby.

There is more.

I'm off to think of some.

OP posts:
lisianthus · 17/12/2013 08:13

Grownups who drink until they vomit/pass out/lose control of bodily functions. I don't know anyone who does this in real life, but I've come across a few threads on MN where the husband does this and the wife is accused of being unreasonable if she objects.

Women who take over all correspondence with their parents in law such as cards, present buying etc, because it is too much of a drag for their DP to spend a couple of minutes buying and writing a card for his mum. Maybe I know a lot of men with really good relationships with their families, but DH, for instance, really enjoys trying to think of a Christmas present each of his parents will like.

lisianthus · 17/12/2013 08:15

And if he didn't, tbh, I wouldn't want to encourage him to neglect his folks by taking it on myself.

Whistleblower0 · 17/12/2013 08:29

What about the absoloute hysteria if people have more than one glass of wine

This! Posters competing with each other on who drinks the least. Most people i know irl drink moderately, and actually enjoy it. There's a thingShock

Icelollycraving · 17/12/2013 08:36

The competitive weddings that cost 2p and were the best day anyone had ever had. Spending what you can afford or have saved for their wedding is their choice,it's their sodding day!!

autumnsmum · 17/12/2013 08:44

People who can quote verbatim every UNICEF recommendation about ff

shineypeacock · 17/12/2013 08:53

Pe

thebody · 17/12/2013 08:53

^^ yes to these although I did buy cards for dhs parents when alive. sod the siblings though.

whistleblower how about the half a glass while pregnant or bf. the damage to the unborn child, the trauma to the poor mite at your breast.

still don't know a RL person who has heard of or uses a moon cup. still don't understand how you use one either
and it's been explained to me.

I always want to park in the mother and child spaces now just to piss other parents off. Grin

Ragwort · 17/12/2013 08:56

People that are religious / go to church. I don't know any in real life but it seems quite common on mumsnet.

Really Hmm - I never come across all the faith-bashers that seem to be on every thread on Mumsnet Grin.

SatinSandals · 17/12/2013 08:57

I have never seen a mooncup.

shineypeacock · 17/12/2013 08:58

Birth plans and sneeze births!
No sweeps, no inductions, no forceps but cut me open for a section, thats fine!!
And no drugs/epidural etc! Must be a water birth, no one must know imin labour etc! No visitors for at least 2 weeks and definatly not MIL!
My birth plan was me and baby all ok by the end of it! And do you know what thats what i got!!

desertmum · 17/12/2013 09:00

I have to admit to the bog brush thing, don't have them mainly because the bloody dogs gets hold of them and chew the nasty end and then if I'm really lucky leave it on my pillow - yuk yuk and yuk. Oh yes and I have dogs who sleep on my bed, and my sons dog sleeps on his bed and we are all fit and healthy without an allergy in sight. A bit of dirt never hurt anyone and children need to play outside and get dirty and put yukky things in their mouths (but not the bog brush !) in order to build up some immunity - otherwise they constantly get sick when they start nursery or school. My son flew alone to Tasmania when he was 15 with an overnight stop in Melbourne - he was fine, but OMG did I get some stick for that one. I was THE WORST parent in the world - but you know what ? I don't care - he was fine. People need to loosen up a little, life isn't a competition, not everyone agrees with me (they are, quite obviously, wrong haha) but hey ho, who cares ?

thebody · 17/12/2013 09:03

shiny come on though. your mil was hiding up the corner, saw the birth and stole the baby to show all of dhs relatives who were camped outside the door.

pictures posted on fb and that's how your dying grandmother found out about the birth.

shineypeacock · 17/12/2013 09:05

Also you must spend the least amount of money on baby stuff, no pram, and definatly not a bugaboo! No outfits, baby must wear a babygrow until at least 6!! And you must breast feed! Makes me laugh when i read all you need for a new born is some vests, some babygrows, a cardigan a sling and a boob!
Ive got a pram and yes its a bugaboo, and i flippin love it! A crib, i FF, and a wardrobe full of outfits for my baby. And guess what im still a mum!

shineypeacock · 17/12/2013 09:09

Afraid not, my PIL are fab! And wouldn't have dreamed of doing anything like that! Baby was delivered, 12.15, phone calls made about 2pm, my parents arrived at 4pm and stayed about 30 mins, PIL arrived at 5pm and did the same, no hassle, no problems. We wanted to show our baby off!!

CoffeeTea103 · 17/12/2013 09:15

People who bleat on about cheap weddings being the best. Even better are registry ones. If you have an expensive one then you're a snob.

Also the bf/ff debate. Almost every person I know has ff, not a single person I know even bats an eyelid at ff. only on mn it's a cardinal sin to ff.

The 'your' family, 'my' family advice given to posters on how to treat their partners family. Everyone i know treats each other's family as if they would their own. It's not wonder this separation of families causes so many issues for people.

ShatterResistant · 17/12/2013 09:16

I haven't read the full thread, but can we just go back to page 7 for a moment of appreciation for friday16's very funny joke? Quick and clever- you really made me laugh.

"And dare anyone try to raise a discussion about the welfare state. Even if it's a ligament question."

Well, that's the achilles heel of politics, isn't it?

TinyTear · 17/12/2013 09:23

never heard anyone in real life going on about 'privilege' and NT kids

although i don't have a tumble dryer in my flat... I dry things on the balcony...

DadOnIce · 17/12/2013 09:26

Elf on the shelf?? Christmas Eve hampers?? Christmas Eve "jammies" (god, I hate that abbreviation, possibly even more than "hubby")??? I have heard of none of these things!

Agree with poster who said there are more religious people here than In Real Life. Perhaps they are just more vocal.

thebody · 17/12/2013 09:30

shiney my inlaws were fab too. all of my dcs had a Moses basket on a stand by my bed, and lovely shiny prams and tons of clothes including frilly dresses and pants ( the girls)

slings would spoil my look and ruin my back. Grin

funnily enough I never 'wore' my baby.

thebody · 17/12/2013 09:32

I tumble dry everything as I refuse to do my mothers ' oh my god it's raining, get the washing in quick' so I have no clothes line and no pegs. so bloody there.

limitedperiodonly · 17/12/2013 10:00

I don't have a tumble dryer or a dish washer.

I dry things on the radiators or sometimes on racks with no heating on. I know this is apparently a recipe for damp, but it hasn't happened to me.

Perhaps I'm a minger who doesn't wash things often enough to create significant condensation. That's another MNism.

Maybe the tines of my forks are silted with crap like tartared teeth too. I remember an advert for dishwasher tablets that showed a microscope close up of such a utensil. It horrified my friend. She is mad.

She's so obsessed by the evil micro-organisms poised to kill us that she washes non-dishwasher safe items in the dishwasher.

So the wooden handles on her saucepans split - which surely invited germs into the cracks? Eventually they disintegrated leaving metal spikes sticking out which seemed just as much a hazard as germs.

fatlazymummy · 17/12/2013 10:08

Having to be grateful for any gift no matter how shit. Yes, it takes so much thought to give someone a tea towel,a packet of stale biscuits or a set of 2nd hand dentures.

autumnsmum · 17/12/2013 10:10

I never used a sling for babies 2&3 as they were massive I am obviously an inadequate parent

DreamingofSummer · 17/12/2013 10:27

Ragwort

Faith bashers indeed
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1940964-Anti-gay-views-in-the-workplace?

tenminutestory · 17/12/2013 10:29

Calling children vile
Calling anyone#s slightly behaviour bonkers. Considering the fuss made over people who insult people with special needs or mental health problems, to diagnose a stranger with a mental illness based upon the possibly untrue story of another stranger is mn hypocrisy at its best.

Being professionally offended about anything and everything all the time
Having to have CBT if you are even slightly unhappy about anything at all
Diagnosing an abusive relationship (they always are red flags or abusive)