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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Some f**king old bag

246 replies

Mummasmurf · 15/12/2013 17:31

Is it me?

We moved towns in July and started going to the local church. I joined the choir in November (half of which can't sing). A few weeks ago one of the old bags shouted loudly that she wished my DD would stop running round. I glared at her. The "running round" was that she went to the back of the church and came back to tell the choir master it sounded "beautiful".

Tonight we were at a Christingle service (a kids service basically) and she loudly had a go again cos the DD stood up to have a look at the goings on.

I'm really pissed off at her and now I don't know whether I should bother going back. The other women said she was out of order and don't let it get to me. It's just that when it's your kids someone's having a go at it's worse than if she was having a go at me.

OP posts:

drudgetrudy · 15/12/2013 19:28

She was intolerant- but "fucking old bag" how Christian and forgiving. Why have you joined a church?

Lilacroses · 15/12/2013 19:29

I agree with thebody as usual. Lovely Christian values displayed by you both Op. What did you expect MN to sa

VerySmallSqueak · 15/12/2013 19:30

I do hope that you will speak to the vicar re an obviously overdue cull of his flock

Is it wrong of me to be chuckling so much at this?

NotMissMiranda · 15/12/2013 19:30

At what age do you become an old bag?

florascotia · 15/12/2013 19:30

I don't give a damn about church choirs and am prepared to understand that parents of young children might be vastly more indulgent than others when it comes to infantile behaviour. But, while devotion to any faith - which is what the 'old bag's' original complaint was presumably, if poorly-expressed, about - should surely be respected, should we not also be tolerant about very young peoples' excitement or delight??
What I find really, really, really offensive in this thread is the attitude in later posts towards older people. For God's sake, not everyone over 60 is incapable or only suitable to be the subject of some facile TV commercial. As an earlier poster has said, we will all be old some day ...

thebody · 15/12/2013 19:31

boff it was the phrase 'one of the old bags' that made me squirm.

monicaLewinski

VerySmallSqueak · 15/12/2013 19:32

When you first buy 'Woman's Weekly' Not.

JodieGarberJacob · 15/12/2013 19:37

And also it's more of an attitude. Some of my friends collect their pension and then go and get their nails done whereas I get the bus to bingo and spend the evening complaining about people talking over the caller.

IamInvisible · 15/12/2013 19:48

I must be an old bag as well then because I hate it when DC run around in churches, restaurants, cafes, cinemas, school nativity plays etc.

There is a time and a place for everything and this, imo, ain't one them!

SatinSandals · 15/12/2013 19:50

I was hoping that this was a thread about how awful it is to refer to older women as "old bags", but apparently not

I find the ageism on MN quite shocking-it seems to be fair game.
I leafed through the MN book, I can't remember the name of it, but it had a chapter called 'old biddies on the bus'!! I was shocked that it actually comes from the top and is acceptable.

SatinSandals · 15/12/2013 19:50

Sorry-thought acceptable.

overthebliddyhill · 15/12/2013 19:59

We have a f***g old bag like this in our church. She is old. She is lonely. She has a painful condition herself. She doesn't look for sympathy. We love her.

GodRestTEEMerryGenTEEmen · 15/12/2013 20:02

Oh man now I want a chair drone Salm!

::ignores most of the thread that isn't about me::

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 15/12/2013 20:04

We will all be old one day.

coraltoes · 15/12/2013 20:07

How very Christian of you. You clearly learn a lot at church.

CanIMakeItToChristmas · 15/12/2013 20:13

Christmas is a season of goodwill ...

Or as a Christian - Matthew 5:43-48

CanIMakeItToChristmas · 15/12/2013 20:16

Or Romans 12:17-19, Proverbs 15:1, Proverbs 16:7 ...
Luke 23:34, ... I could go on?

HeffalumpTheFlump · 15/12/2013 20:16

Your church does sound a bit stuffy, but obviously that's not a nice way to speak about anyone. I hope you were just venting. My church became a bit like this, but they have sorted it out as their congregation was dwindling. Now there are far more family friendly services called messy church. Kids can run around and make as much noise as they want. The members of the congregation who do not enjoy a livelier service like that can go to the earlier one which is much more old fashioned. It's working really well and there are far more families attending each week.

Is there anything like that near you?

BakeOLiteGirl · 15/12/2013 20:17

I tried taking my child to church a few times when he was 2/3 years old. Cannot for the life of me remember why.

It was really good though because everyone was really tolerant and kind. There was an area at the back with books and toys for restless children to spend time.

Because it was a family service no one minded young children running around while parents listened. It's just impossible to keep some children sitting still. But because it was a family service and the vicar was lovely it was just wonderful chaos that was great fun.

Find another church.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 15/12/2013 20:17

I love it when people post nasty stuff, wanting to goad other posters into agreeing that their MIL/friend etc is a cunt and then, they come back to see everyone says YABU and wail "all I wanted was support". What a pile of wank.

garlicbaubles · 15/12/2013 20:28

I went to choir practice recently. I must say I love it - it's one of the very few opportunities I get to socialise with friends my own age, the old lungs get a workout and I quite fancy the verger

We always welcome new people to our group, especially young mums as most of us remember how having a small child can make you crave adult company! They're usually lovely, as are their DC. But, my word, our latest new member is making us rethink! She sang very loudly, as if it was a competition, could NOT keep time despite the keyboard player resorting to his drum pedal, and kept glaring round at everyone. She seemed to think she was on Congregation X-Factor, and dressed for it, too. Call us cheeky, but we changed the first line of the carol to "While Slebster flashed her norks by night" She didn't notice, she was too busy drowning us out.

So obsessed was she by her celebrity delusions, she paid no attention to her child, who resorted to haring up and down the aisle, then tried to get SlebMum's attention by yelling "BOOTIFUL MUMMY" every time she reached the choir. I guess the silly tart doesn't need telling she's "bootiful" as her only response was to sneer at the rest of us. Again.

None of us want our weekly gatherings spoiled by Thunder Child and her daft bint of a mother. We normally welcome younger members, as I said, but this uppity cow's more than we can bear. Would we be unreasonable to announce the choir is for over-40s only?

CanIMakeItToChristmas · 15/12/2013 20:31

garlicbaubles

garlicbaubles · 15/12/2013 20:33

Nanny0gg · 15/12/2013 20:36

garlicbaubles

Loved it! Especially:

None of us want our weekly gatherings spoiled by Thunder Child and her daft bint of a mother
and
"While Slebster flashed her norks by night"

monicalewinski · 15/12/2013 20:42

garlicbaubles

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