Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Some f**king old bag

246 replies

Mummasmurf · 15/12/2013 17:31

Is it me?

We moved towns in July and started going to the local church. I joined the choir in November (half of which can't sing). A few weeks ago one of the old bags shouted loudly that she wished my DD would stop running round. I glared at her. The "running round" was that she went to the back of the church and came back to tell the choir master it sounded "beautiful".

Tonight we were at a Christingle service (a kids service basically) and she loudly had a go again cos the DD stood up to have a look at the goings on.

I'm really pissed off at her and now I don't know whether I should bother going back. The other women said she was out of order and don't let it get to me. It's just that when it's your kids someone's having a go at it's worse than if she was having a go at me.

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 15/12/2013 19:01

Chair drobe!!

Salmotrutta · 15/12/2013 19:02

You could have some of my Tweed Jodie?

VerySmallSqueak · 15/12/2013 19:02

I can scoop the last bits off the floor if you want Jodie.
Don't you worry about the black bits - it's just the little bits off my toenails where I've got a bit of fungus.

GodRestTEEMerryGenTEEmen · 15/12/2013 19:04

A misquote:

"'The wired up gentleman flying this thing says we have about 20 minutes until they can no longer blow us out of the sky, if you have any sins you want to confess.'

'I said I didn't. But then remembered some I cherish, so I told Stu those. That led to some of his own.

The 20 minutes passed before we had run out of sins.'"

The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, by Robert A Heinlein

JodieGarberJacob · 15/12/2013 19:05

That's decent of you but I'm more of a Coty L'Aimant kind of old bag.

SatinSandals · 15/12/2013 19:05

Why is age relevant? There are intolerant people of all ages.

GoshAnneGorilla · 15/12/2013 19:06

I was hoping that this was a thread about how awful it is to refer to older women as "old bags", but apparently not.

thebody · 15/12/2013 19:06

I am not a regular church gore but on the occasions I did take my dcs I insisted they sit down, behave, and be respectful.

sane as in a restaurant or at the cinema.

absolutely bloody hate parents who let their children run wild and expect everyone else to smile fondly and think, like you that ch

thebody · 15/12/2013 19:08

hell, that children's rights to disrupt and run around trumps all.

my 4 were under control. especially in church, it's not soft play!!

your language and ageism is vile. suggest you perhaps need to listen to the lady and control your dd.

JodieGarberJacob · 15/12/2013 19:10

Toenail fungus! < vomits over grandad> Although honestly squeak, I probably wouldn't notice, what with my cataracts and all.

Salmotrutta · 15/12/2013 19:12

Do they still make Coty L'Aimant?

VerySmallSqueak · 15/12/2013 19:14

Hehehehe Jodie. Grin

garlicbaubles · 15/12/2013 19:15

How is her age relevant? Would you have said "some black cow" or "some crippled witch"?

GoofyIsACow · 15/12/2013 19:15

Good god!

VerySmallSqueak · 15/12/2013 19:15

I used to love that Salmo.

When I was young enough to wear scent,that is.

Now it irritates me in my folds.

garlicbaubles · 15/12/2013 19:16

Oops, cross-posted with a few while steaming!

Coldlightofday · 15/12/2013 19:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

iklboo · 15/12/2013 19:17

I'd come but I've got my big lady pants on a boil wash on the stove. It's the only way I can get the Anusol & horse liniment out.

BoffinMum · 15/12/2013 19:18

Well she sounds like an old bag to me, especially if the others are saying she's out of order. Smile and nod, smile and nod, but carry on with what you are doing.

mrspremise · 15/12/2013 19:19

It's half of whom, in any case... Have yet another Biscuit, you Christian soul, you..

JodieGarberJacob · 15/12/2013 19:19

Once my stockpile of Coty L'Aimant is gone I'm going to try horse linament. Apparently they smell similar.

redexpat · 15/12/2013 19:19

Why is everyone questioning the christianity of the OP? What about the other female? It's not very Christian to be intolerant of children, although it would also be very Christian to forgive and accept the other woman and love her anyway. Moral of the story: we are all human, all make mistakes, and no one can act like a saint the whole time.

And FWIW it's very annoying being in a choir when the other singers aren't very good. So I'd be looking for a choral society rather than a church choir OP.

LadyBeagleEyes · 15/12/2013 19:20

That'll be the other old bags who can't sing then Boffin? Op didn't just insult the one old bag, it was a generalisation.

PloddingDaily · 15/12/2013 19:21

Oh dear...

Ok, re the ladies in the choir & their ability...I'm pretty sure the phrase is 'make a joyful noise unto the Lord' rather than tuneful...Wink it might niggle those who are pitch perfect but those who aren't are no less entitled to praise God, & I'm sure he is more interested in the sentiment than the harmonies. Smile

Re the older lady's comments re your child, I understand how stressful it can be trying to wrangle kids at church, & firmly believe we should follow Jesus' example & welcome kids...but as another pp said a good church will try & cater for the different approaches / needs of it's family members...but the oil that keeps the cogs turning is tolerance...which works both ways, so I can see how her reaction hurt you...but don't let that anger fester!

Try not to get side tracked by personality conflicts - ask God to help you see others as He does (their humanity, frailty, vulnerability) & with His love...& take this to him - if church is more than a sunday activity for you, pray about this. Human relationships are darn tricky, noone's perfect...

As for everyone saying what hypocrites Christians are...well, yes, some of us are...possibly all most at some point or other? Blush We are, after all, human, with all the annoying habits & baggage we had before becoming Christians, it's just that we have a faith & are on a journey with it...all at different points, some more saintly than others, none perfect. Wink. My big issues include swearing like a trooper still language, patience etc...I'm very much wip, but I do not (try not to!!) judge others...just plodding along my own path...

Right, shutting up & off soapbox now! Xmas Grin

monicalewinski · 15/12/2013 19:27

YANBU.

You are absolutely in the right - old people should not be allowed to public places if they cannot be indulgent around spirited children.

Choirs (imo) should no longer be welcoming to the tone deaf - Gareth Malone has done a lot for choirs in this country and your old bag and her cronies are disrespecting him.

I do hope that you will speak to the vicar re an obviously overdue cull of his flock, to allow young churchgoers such as yourself the freedom to let children run wild and express their personalities. Just because these unreasonable old bags have probably been a part of that congregation for a very long time, it does not trump your right as a newcomer to dictate proceedings exactly on your terms.

It is your basic human right, and I suggest you inform the local paper, too.

HTH