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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to be a bit saddened by the workings of the xmasappeal?

126 replies

comfortnjoy · 14/12/2013 22:17

I've offered to donate specific things......a treat for a MNer.
I was matched with someone with DC.
Now I feel like a complete crap donator as I have seen loads of posts about how kind donaters have been, sending focused presents to the family circs.
So my treat is going to look really unthoughtful and tight coz I haven't aimed my presnt to the DC. I can imagine the gift being opened with a dismissive "meh". probably why I haven't been acknowledged on the thread.
It's probably going to be viewed as shit in comparison to the other wow gifts on the thread, isn't it?
How do people decide what to buy after they've been matched when it says in the rules that you state your donation before you're matched Confused.
Aibu to be saddened and feel like not bothering.

OP posts:
SauvignonBlanche · 14/12/2013 22:21

I said I'd buy a voucher, DH lost his job the day before the message from MNHQ arrived I can't afford to spend much now and feel like a cheapskate. Xmas Blush

ValiumHappyChristmasQueen · 14/12/2013 22:22

I received a gift. It could have been a tube of smarties, and it would have still meant the world, as someone who doesn't know me cared enough to do what you have done. I think you are awesome. I think everyone who took the trouble to do this kind and selfless thing is awesome, and I thank you all.

custardo · 14/12/2013 22:25

comfort that post was entirely about you

and the spirit of the appeal is not about that at all

some people don't acknowledge gifts - that could be for a million and one reasons in real life

your post sounds really self absorbed

Xmas2013MN4407 · 14/12/2013 22:26

no no no no please stop thinking like that

do you mean that your donation is an adult present?

If I got an adult present and nothing for the kids, I wouldn't be in the least bit 'meh' about it at all

to get a present from someone who has taken the trouble to choose and send it and be part of the appeal is just wonderful

If someone is 'meh' about it they maybe they should have been nominated Grin

TobyLerone · 14/12/2013 22:31

So basically you give to make yourself feel better and to get thanks?

YABU

Original poster
comfortnjoy · 14/12/2013 22:32

Jog on, custardo.
I'm sad that the nominated person will feel hard done to in comparison to the others' gifts.
Thanks for yiur contribution, though. Hmm

OP posts:
GoldenGytha · 14/12/2013 22:34

I was nominated and received my voucher yesterday, it was so lovely that someone had taken the time and effort to think about me, and send a lovely message with the voucher, really brightened my life,

OP, please don't think like that, I'm sure your gift is very much treasured, and I think custardo was a bit harsh on you.

Maybe it hasn't been acknowledged because it hasn't arrived yet, could that be a possibility? I was nominated last year, but nothing ever arrived, and I felt so bad that I couldn't go on the thread and thank the donor.

TobyLerone · 14/12/2013 22:37

Oh, come on, OP. You're moaning that your contribution hasn't been publicly acknowledged. That's pretty self-absorbed.

ImperialBlether · 14/12/2013 22:37

Sauvignon, have you tried writing to MNHQ to explain and ask whether there are leftover gifts that haven't been allocated yet?

Original poster
comfortnjoy · 14/12/2013 22:38

No, Tobylerone, I don't. You're normally a reasoned poster, that was unkind.
Thanks for others' kind words, tho.

OP posts:
Original poster
comfortnjoy · 14/12/2013 22:40

That qas one tiny but of the post. And yeah, I shouldn't have put it, but I guess im a but snippy coz I feel guilty that I might have disappointed someone. Im sorry.

OP posts:
DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 14/12/2013 22:42

I'm with Custardo on this one.

Original poster
comfortnjoy · 14/12/2013 22:44

What a surprise.

OP posts:
DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 14/12/2013 22:44

You're right, it shouldn't be a surprise because its true.

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 14/12/2013 22:46

I know someone who was a recipient one year. The things she received were not to her taste necessarily by but she was so pleased and touched that someone had taken the time to do it.

TodaysAGoodDay · 14/12/2013 22:47

YANBU about not bothering.

I am not bothering again either. I spent almost £100 last year on an MNetter and her 3 DCs, and she couldn't even be bothered to go and collect the parcel from the local post office, so I had it returned to me a month later.

SauvignonBlanche · 14/12/2013 22:47

I've bought one Imperial, it's just for a lot less than I might have got when DH was in work.

MrsWolowitzYouAMerryChristmas · 14/12/2013 22:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CaptainSweatPants · 14/12/2013 22:49

Today - they're could be a million reasons why your parcel
Wasn't collected
No idea why you'd feel bitter about it
I'd just donate the returned goods to charity

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 14/12/2013 22:49

she couldn't even be bothered to go and collect the parcel from the local post office

Or she never got a While You Were Out card, which often happens.

CharlieAlphaKiloEcho · 14/12/2013 22:50

Comfort - I get what you mean. Last year I was both a giver and a receiver via the appeal and I felt a massive amount of guilt over the poor person who got my sad offering. Especially since I got a lovely parcel myself.

But honestly, I would have been touched by a card and a marsbar because of the spirit behind it. Doesn't stop you feeling a bit worried about how well it will be received though.

Please don't worry though. I'm sure they will just be grateful for the thought.

MmeCinqAnneauxDor · 14/12/2013 22:51

There is a reason that we have the cliche 'It's the thought that counts'.

It might be a cliche, but it is totally true. You have given a gift, and the person who receives it will be so chuffed and grateful to have been nominated. They are not going to be comparing with the gifts that others receive.

Don't feel sad. The Xmas appeal is a really wonderful part of MN and without the generosity of people like you, it simply wouldn't exist.

Nagoo · 14/12/2013 22:52

I was nominated last year, and I didn't feel meh about the little things at all :) I thought it was properly bloody lovely to get a little something from a MNer. I agree that the generosity shown at the appeal is staggering, and and awesome thing indeed. But it's really not just the 'big' things... it's that someone thought to do it at all.

Don't feel bad OP. It's really lovely of you to have joined in the spirit of it. Don't try to take that away from yourself. I'm sure the MNer was thrilled to get something for herself, but you can't say that so much on the thanks thread Grin Wink it's better to say 'the DC loved it :o'.

Sparklingbrook · 14/12/2013 22:54

I am a bit Confused by this thread and the responses. comfort has read the thank you thread and feels a bit worried that her gift isn't up to what some others have donated, that's all.

But judging by the thank you thread some nominees get more than one gift.

But it's the thought that counts cliche that it is. Don't worry comfort-I am sure it is appreciated.

SilverApples · 14/12/2013 22:54

Hang on, OP. You are sending a small gift to an overworked and stressed-out parent who will probably be last in line for appreciation at Christmas.
I'd have loved a gift just for me, however tiny. Something with my name on it that recognised me as a person, not a mum or a wife or a teacher.