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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was I BU to have made a report to the police?

68 replies

flusteredmumto2 · 13/12/2013 20:41

Today I had an incident at college where I was groped by an elderly asian gentleman on my way into college. It was 9.20 this morning and I was walking into college, an elderly man with a stick was walking towards me so I stepped slightly to my right to give him enough space. When he was almost level with me he put his hand out and tried to grab my private parts I turned away from him so to move myself from his touch at which point he put his hand between my legs from behind. It was only a couple of seconds but I didn't react other than to shout. He didn't even turn around. After going to class, I made a report to campus security and notified my tutors. It was then decided to make a report to the police and they're coming to take a statement tomorrow. Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill? As the days gone on I'm feeling more and more shakey about it and it makes me feel sick. How can anyone make me feel like this, its horrible.

OP posts:

KatamariDamacy · 13/12/2013 20:43

Well done for being so brave. You're absolutely doing the right thing. Vile man.

LambinsideaDuckinsideaTrout · 13/12/2013 20:45

Of course you are doing the right thing. Hope you are okay soon.

FryOneFatChristmasGoose · 13/12/2013 20:45

You are right to report.

GreggsOnLegs · 13/12/2013 20:45

You did the right thing Op.

ShinyBlackNose · 13/12/2013 20:46

Don't worry, you've done the right thing.

peppapigmustdie · 13/12/2013 20:47

You poor thing, you are absolutely not making a mountain out of a molehill. It must have been so upsetting, try and relax tonight and talk to someone. The police should take it very seriously it is sexual assault. [Wine]

harticus · 13/12/2013 20:47

Pervy old git.
Was this actually on campus?

tracypenisbeaker · 13/12/2013 20:48

You're not going to get anyone coming on here to tell you that you were wrong. And if they do, they'll be shot down in flames

WaffilyVersatile · 13/12/2013 20:49

My friend lived in Japan for a little while and came home because of this. Apparently its not uncommon and they have a name for it and women only carriages. You were right to report it, shocking.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 13/12/2013 20:49

Don't doubt yourself. Too many abusers get away with it because the victims doubt themselves. Reporting to the police is not an overreaction. It is the right thing to do.

I dread to think how many other women he has done this to and they haven't been brave enough to report it.

Well done!

WaffilyVersatile · 13/12/2013 20:50

(I realise we also have a name for it - sexual assault)

LittleMissGerardButlersBaubles · 13/12/2013 20:52

You are doing the right thing, don't worry.

I'm not surprised you are shaken, what a horrible experience for you.

Ruffcat · 13/12/2013 20:52

Yes you must report, I hope your ok, sounds awful. Things like this make me so angry.

Bakerof3pudsxx · 13/12/2013 20:53

Deffently the right thing to do

I think I might have given him a sharp kick though

Original poster

flusteredmumto2 · 13/12/2013 20:54

Yes it was right outside the doors to the college building. Theres a public walkway and I was about to enter the college. It hopefully is all on cctv. I was only asking as when I told one of the women on my course she just laughed. Right now I'm just confused and angry. Why didn't I do more?

OP posts:

MissMarplesBloomers · 13/12/2013 20:55

OP- absolutely the right thing to do.

Have you anyone that can stay with you tonight if it would help?

McFox · 13/12/2013 20:55

You are absolutely right to do this. What a disgusting thing to happen, you are very much in the right.

harriet247 · 13/12/2013 20:56

You poor thing!definitely do, elderly or not he assaulted you,if you report to police they may be able to find him on cctv and haul his horrible ass to the police station. So sorry this happened to you,I really hope they catch the vile animal.

Ruffcat · 13/12/2013 20:56

She laughed!!! What is wrong with people. Was she a student?

harriet247 · 13/12/2013 20:57

And there is nothing funny about it. I doubt that woman would be laughing if it happened to her daughter!

monicalewinski · 13/12/2013 20:58

You're not making a mountain out of a molehill. He groped you, this is against the law (apart from being downright cringey and disgusting).

Don't overthink it and make yourself ill, but try to hold on to the disgust and anger until you've made your report to the police.

Procrastinating · 13/12/2013 21:00

Revolting. Nothing funny about that.
Of course you were right to report, I hope they get him.

Ruffcat · 13/12/2013 21:00

You were in shock, people deal with things differently.

I was walking down the road one and some man told me I had a nice cunt! I turned around and spammed him. (I'm not an aggressive person. We all react differently

peppapigmustdie · 13/12/2013 21:01

There is nothing more you could have done, you were shocked and you shouted. It was probably only a few seconds (obviously felt longer to you) you reported it straight away so any cctv can be kept. Whoever laughed about it has no idea of the gravity of the situation or the impact on you. She is not worthy of any more of your thoughts. I can guarantee no one on here will share her viewpoint. If they do we will put them in their place sharpish. You are doing brilliantly.

LambinsideaDuckinsideaTrout · 13/12/2013 21:03

Idiotic person who laughed. Death stare.

Why didn't you do more?

Because you were shocked, because you couldn't believe it actually happened and by the time you realised, it was too late.

Hopefully cctv recorded it.

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