or is my work? really need some sensible advice here

[commutingnightmares]

Have name changed for this as its sensitive.

Feel free to tell me if I'm being entitled but its really starting to stress me out and make me depressed and I need some advice about whether I have any rights or whether I just need a good talking to.

I'm a few months into a new job. Generally OK, colleagues are nice, work is interesting though the pay is worse than I was on before (long story). By and large everything is OK apart from one thing.

As part of my work I'm required to do a job from home very early in the morning (from just after 5am) which takes anything from an hour 15 mins to nearly 2 hours. I took this on readily and the quid pro quo is that I get to start an hour later than my colleagues, which suits me as it helps with my childcare drop off.

After I finish this shift I then have to get my daughter up, get her ready, get myself ready and get a bus and a train to drop her off at childcare before getting to my desk. I made clear before starting that the drop-off was non-negotiable -- my DH can't do the morning drop-off. This was accepted when I took the job.

Due to transport problems I sometimes get in a few minutes after my official start time. This varies but it works out on average that I'm about 5 minutes late most days, sometimes on time, sometimes more, but never very late.

My boss is now saying that I need to get in earlier and that I have to be in by the start time or else, ideally even earlier. I've pointed out to him that due to the fact that the lateness is always accounted for by transport problems, I can't do anything about this (my train network is really rubbish and services rarely run to time). I can't get an earlier train and still get the job done in good time and then attend to all the things I need to do to get my daughter ready, its simply not possible (I've tried).

The morning job is really really stressful for me, my daughter always wakes up in the middle of it and usually gets distressed and upset that I'm working.

I've offered to drop the morning job in order to get in earlier. Boss still isn't happy. Basically the key bone of contention seems to be that I have to be in exactly at the start time on the dot or else. If I'm even a couple of minutes late this seems to be a major problem for them, even though there are other people around and its not clear to me that it makes a massive difference, its usually pretty quiet at that time of day.

I could potentially move my daughter to another childcare provider closer to my home but this would only make a marginal difference to the commute and would be quite a wrench for her as she is settled where she is so I don't want to do this unless I really have to.

To my knowledge there aren't any other issues with my work, or at least none that I've been made aware of.

This is massively impacting my quality of life upsetting my DH and my daughter and constantly in trouble at work, I feel I can't win. I'm busting a gut every morning to get everything done on time and still seem incapable of pleasing anyone. A couple of friends one of whom is a lawyer -- have said they think the boss may be on shaky ground in terms of equal ops and should watch it. I don't want to get into anything ugly, but I can't help feeling that I'm being put under pressure that's verging on being unreasonable.

Can anyone give any advice?

It all hinges on the nature of the deal you struck. I don't think a deal necessarily has to be 'an hour for an hour'
If , for example, an employee really wanted to start work an hour later, they might strike a deal that they'd work an hour and a half later if they felt that later start was worth their while. The value of something is dependent on the individual. If the OP agreed to the early work because the office start of an hour later is worth it to her, then it's not fair of her to move the goalposts and turn up late. Was the 5am work stated to be a certain amount of time? If its anything like my friends job, it can take a variable time because sometimes she has a lot of repair work to do to the computer system and other days its really straight forward.

While I agree that a nit picking boss can be annoying, if an employee is regularly arriving late then I don't blame them for being pissed off. It's not good for staff morale generally and it's just not professional.

commutingnightmares

Blimey - you poor thing. I have limited trains (2 an hour) and like you I am constrained by them, but for me my office is 1hr 40mins door to door, (which I thought was a long commute!).

I think - personally - if leaving the house at 7.20am can't get you for 10.00am, then something has to give.

Talk properly to your manager. Explain the situation. He/she either has to accept you being a bit late, or you need to drop the early shift.

Either way, if this particular job is a 'must-have' then I'd consider a different childminder / breakfast club for your daughter (depending on age). You need to cut back on that commute time for your sanity - You must be bloody shattered - I expect doing the drop off isn't worth the emotional effort...

What time are you getting in at night?

Are you really leaving the house at 7.20am and not getting there til 10.15am? I can well believe it if you are taking buses and trains to nursery and then into work, but nearly 3 hours a day traveling there is just ridiculous and must also be darn expensive.

You are obviously an incredibly hard worker, but be realistic, can you keep this going over the long term? I think moving nursery or moving jobs is a better solution than trying to renegotiate staying til 5.15- as I say, what time do you get home?

yanbu how petty.

Why not suggest to the boss that you drop the early work but start at 9am? Though if it takes two and a half hours to get to work for 10, it could be worse starting at 9...

But Janey it is the company not the OP that want the 5 o clock start.

I know but she described as a trade off for the later start she wants

A friend had similar issues - she took to using a spreadsheet that you recorded start and finish times in and any breaks - it then totalled up. There must be an online version now. You just email it to your boss every week, job done. You are also then collecting evidence as it sounds like they could be generally a bit unreasonable (I mean, who the heck is going to want to have a 5am job from home added to their list of tasks without extra compensation?) So collect some evidence in case they force you out.

YANBU - I used to do a job where the working hours were 9.30-5.30am, but no-one else ever started till nearly 10, then they gave me looks when I occasionally left on time. I didn't have an issue with them doing 10-6, but live and let live, unless the job is a shop or something that requires workers to be there at specific times.

If you are getting the job done and doing more than the 8 hours (plus this helpful thing at 5am), they are BU not you

Just wanted say also, before I sign off!

You are clearly a 'doer' - that's a tough role that you're managing at moment. Bloody well done to you.

The number of people who only have to tear themselves away from Aled & Lorraine to get in to work for 9am - and you've done half a day's work before they've had their second cup of tea.

You do sound very stressed and overwhelmed at the moment, but try and put things into perspective; it's only a disastrously huge problem if you let if overwhelm you. It's entirely 'sortable' (?!) but you're probably not seeing the wood for the trees.

Options, as I see them:

1: Explain properly to your boss that 5am work takes longer than he/she thinks. Layout what the task actually entails and explain that it's not possible to do the job, AND be in the office at 10. If he/she wants to guarantee you're in by 10:00, you'll have to leave 5:00am role at whatever point it's got to at 6:30am to get the appropriate train.

2: negotiate with boss working from home for some / all / of your working week (put in a formal, well structured flexible request etc.)

3: look at alternative childcare methods. Nearer to work, 'before and after school' nanny who comes to your home, friend who's house you can drop her off at?

4: If your DP's work is structured enough to support it, see if your DP can share the drop offs.

Either way; you are holding down a responsible job, child management and a sizeable commute. Hat's off to you and I hope you get things into a more manageable structure soon x

What does your contract actually state, OP? Is the early morning shift part of your contract or is it a subsequent negotiation? It seems you are actually working slightly longer hours in total than you are being paid for, but not quite at the correct times as far as your boss is concerned. I think some clarification is required with your boss/HR and perhaps this arrangement (including your 5/10 mins late start) needs to be formalised. This may mean a formal request for flexible working, as a pp has said. I suppose it depends on the nature of the work as to who is being U here. In my job, so long as the work is done the exact hours are not considered too important, but that's obv not the case everywhere.

My contract says my "core" hours are 10 until 4. I rarely leave before 4.45.

I'd also be very honest with yourself about what your "only 5 minutes late" actually means. Starting at 10 means you should be at your desk, with computer turned on, ready to go at 10. If you're actually not walking into the office until 10.05, I suspect the time that you actually start working is probably 5-10 minutes later than this.

Having worked in what sounds like a similar set up, is your boss frustrated that he cant' set up 10am meetings because you're actually not there when you should be?

redsky yep, I am not always in on time, I admit that and I can see its a problem. But there is nothing I can do about it if I do this early job.

What a nightmare. YANBU at all. You need to find a way to renegotiate your contract to account for the lateness. I think your company has a duty to consider flexibility.

Have you spoken with Acas? They have a 24 hour helpline.

Good luck.

Everything bbcessex said above.

The very first thing I would do though is speak properly to your boss re simply sliding your core hours half an hour to the right, to 1030 to 1630.

That way you will stop being late immediately and then you can start thinking about all the other stuff and what can give/be re-negotiated. It's not about 'sucking it up' like you said before - you're 'sucking up' enough, and it's draining you.

Get it down on paper and speak to your boss first thing Monday. Good luck.

You see maybe I'm missing something, but it sounds like worst case scenario is that you're finished by 7 (and generally earlier). And you don't have to be in work by 10. I understand that it's maybe the timings of trains that are wrong but does it really take 3(+) hours to get to work? You can't be getting home until gone 7pm. I know times are tough, but this really doesn't sound like the right arrangement for you.

OP I think what is going on at your work is terrible.

I manage people and tbh I'm not sure what time they all roll in at. Roughly people get in a 0930 but even 15 minutes either side is no big deal and wouldn't be commented on. I'm not a shit boss, I just don't think five or ten minutes here or there is a big deal in the scheme of things. We all work incredibly hard when we are there, work over the hours when necessary and work as a team. It's easy to tell when someone isn't pulling their weight and that doesn't sound like you by any means. I'd much rather people did their job than did their exact, minute counting hours. You gain nothing from staff by making them feel stressed and harassed. Trust and empowering them works much better.

I think it is dreadful that you are being harangued about being minutes late when you are working extra hours in the morning. You are doing way more than they asked for the same money. He should be bloody applauding you when you get in. I know I would.

The boss needs to know how long this job is taking in the morning and compensate you accordingly - either by being more flexible with your time or rewarding you financially. He also should have had a more constructive meeting with you where you discussed possible options rather than being a pedantic arse. I'm amazed people are suggesting you are out of order. You are not. You are being taken advantage of and if the other office bods are resentful at your 5 minutes of lateness then perhaps THEY should give up their comfy bed and do the 5am starts.

I do think you should be looking for something else. You sound like a conscientious employee. Find a decent employer who will support you.

(As an aside, I'm not sure how many jobs NEED people there at 0900 or 1000 on the dot.. Yes shops etc but there are some offices which seem ridiculously anal about start times for no good reason. Public transport and traffic is an unknown quantity. 90% of the trains I've got on this week have been late)

If your boss is being funny about it, then I would make a formal flexible working request. Ask to move your core hours to 10.15-4.15 or something equally ridiculous. You can point out in your request that you are willing to do the 5am shift to help the business case. Unless something mega important happens in your office at 10am every day then I expect you'll get it and your worries will be over. I would also make it clear to the boss that if it is refused, you will stop doing the 5am shift as it is not possible for you to make the practical arrangements work.

redskyatnight - I leave home at 7.00am and don't get home till at least just after 7.00pm on the day's I have to be in the office.

Working from home gives me another 3+ usable hours to my working day - commutingnightmares - I would seriously see if you can put together a flexible working request; at best, you may get some work from home. At worst, it may stop your boss worrying that you get in at 10.15 if you WFH is the alternative!!!!

Commuting my guess is that the issue here is perception. When core hours operate bosses can be sticklers because they do not want others to abuse them. You need to get your contract amended, as others have said, to reflect the fact that it is work that is preventing you from getting there earlier. That said I think doing this long term will after your physical and mental health it is too much. You need to make changes.

After= affect

Agree make a formal application for flexible working so you can start officially 5 mins late. It's a reasonable request.

I'm still not convinced a bit of lateral thinking can't solve this. So you leave at 720 to get a train at - what - 730 and then you're sitting on the train for 2.5 hours? Or you're dropping off first? Or getting off the train to drop off then getting back on the train?

You need a written agreement,mutually agreed between You and employer
Agreement to confirm start times,hours worked etc
I'm afraid I don't agree with easy ozey get in round about start time.there lies route to disagreement and strife. If you have a legitimate need you get it written down and formalised.protect you and employer