or is my work? really need some sensible advice here

[commutingnightmares]

Have name changed for this as its sensitive.

Feel free to tell me if I'm being entitled but its really starting to stress me out and make me depressed and I need some advice about whether I have any rights or whether I just need a good talking to.

I'm a few months into a new job. Generally OK, colleagues are nice, work is interesting though the pay is worse than I was on before (long story). By and large everything is OK apart from one thing.

As part of my work I'm required to do a job from home very early in the morning (from just after 5am) which takes anything from an hour 15 mins to nearly 2 hours. I took this on readily and the quid pro quo is that I get to start an hour later than my colleagues, which suits me as it helps with my childcare drop off.

After I finish this shift I then have to get my daughter up, get her ready, get myself ready and get a bus and a train to drop her off at childcare before getting to my desk. I made clear before starting that the drop-off was non-negotiable -- my DH can't do the morning drop-off. This was accepted when I took the job.

Due to transport problems I sometimes get in a few minutes after my official start time. This varies but it works out on average that I'm about 5 minutes late most days, sometimes on time, sometimes more, but never very late.

My boss is now saying that I need to get in earlier and that I have to be in by the start time or else, ideally even earlier. I've pointed out to him that due to the fact that the lateness is always accounted for by transport problems, I can't do anything about this (my train network is really rubbish and services rarely run to time). I can't get an earlier train and still get the job done in good time and then attend to all the things I need to do to get my daughter ready, its simply not possible (I've tried).

The morning job is really really stressful for me, my daughter always wakes up in the middle of it and usually gets distressed and upset that I'm working.

I've offered to drop the morning job in order to get in earlier. Boss still isn't happy. Basically the key bone of contention seems to be that I have to be in exactly at the start time on the dot or else. If I'm even a couple of minutes late this seems to be a major problem for them, even though there are other people around and its not clear to me that it makes a massive difference, its usually pretty quiet at that time of day.

I could potentially move my daughter to another childcare provider closer to my home but this would only make a marginal difference to the commute and would be quite a wrench for her as she is settled where she is so I don't want to do this unless I really have to.

To my knowledge there aren't any other issues with my work, or at least none that I've been made aware of.

This is massively impacting my quality of life upsetting my DH and my daughter and constantly in trouble at work, I feel I can't win. I'm busting a gut every morning to get everything done on time and still seem incapable of pleasing anyone. A couple of friends one of whom is a lawyer -- have said they think the boss may be on shaky ground in terms of equal ops and should watch it. I don't want to get into anything ugly, but I can't help feeling that I'm being put under pressure that's verging on being unreasonable.

Can anyone give any advice?

Equality doesn't mean that everyone should be treated the same, just that everyone should have the same chances to get the job done, and for some people that means more flexibility. Another member of our team who doesn't have out of work commitments also has flexi time but there's no way I'd authorise the 'making hours back up after a short notice day off' thing that I do with the woman I talked about above.

In our place, it's all about getting the work done, not the hours worked or location of that work, as we're not customer facing.

OP I feel for you and think a lot of PP are in much less family friendly roles, but they do exist.

Can you make up the time by a shorter lunch?

Or are they not interested in that kind or approach and just want you in bang on the time they say?

IMO I think 5mins is nothing if it can be made up at another time and you are good at your job (as really great staff are not easy to find).

notmyproblem the point is that I finish the job too late to be able to get a train to get in by the designated start time after taking into account the childcare and commute. I can't in practice get up any earlier to do the job because I can't start it before about 5am for reasons too complicated to go into.

pancakeflipper I don't have a lunch break.

Tell them you will be on time, but you won't be doing the 5am work.

lessons you are very progressive and I wish more people were like you. To be honest I find it astonishing that salaried jobs can be this petty, its a real eye opener. I would understand if I was being paid by the hour but its not like that.

You live and learn and suck up more petty crap

OP the thing is, in my field, I don't think I'm particularly progressive, this is just the way we all work (charity working for homeless people - we give much more of a darn about how our clients do and how much money we raise rather than what time our staff are in). Is this a sector thing, and can you change?

I don't see anyone saying you should suck it up - you should discuss with your employer the fact that the early job takes longer than the hour it's supposed to and renegotiate your hours on that basis. Does he know how long the task is actually taking you?

I had a similar problem. I was carless and relying on my lazy arsed ex to get me to work and home. I was late everyday, they knew the reasons. I also worked through my hr lunch and because lazy ex finished later they got an hour extra after work. But I was still given verbal warnings even though they were getting an hour and 50ish extra unpaid over time.
I left shortly after as I felt they were being unsympathetic and ridiculous.

Working longer than you are paid for and being criticised, unreasonably in your opinion, for being (regularly) late, and a 2 hour 45 min commute albeit via chid care.

Why don't you look for another job ?

If your contracted hours are 10 till 4 then I would start leaving at 4 unless you are 5 minutes late then I would leave at 4 05.

Your boss sounds horrible and unreasonable.
I am always a dew minutes late because of childcare issues. That's just how it is and my work knows that. I make up the time and it makes no difference.

I don't think yabu if it's the early work that's making you late and you actually doing extra for free you need to show this in a time sheet.

I don't know if you have, but I would set up a meeting with HR and your managers about it.

You stay late (that you're essentially not paid for) for many more minutes that you arrive late. You said you usually work till 4.45pm so I'd actually change your schedule to 10.30-4.30 (as well as the 5am stuff) or remove the 5am stuff and go back to 9-5. There needs to be some compromise.

I'm always late to work, no more than 5-10 minutes. I drive 45-60 mins one way through some pretty decent traffic and through the country (farm equipment). I leave early and I'll either be stupidly early, or still arrive with little time to spare... I always stay late though as well. I'd be gutted (just like you OP) if my boss made a big deal out of it. I AM paid by the hour and don't charge him to talk to me after I've "clocked out" or anything stupid like that... Makes a HUGE difference to your happiness and work ethic I think to feel respected.

Do you have contents insurance with legal cover? Worth checking, as often there is cover for employment disputes (though I hope it won't come to that). YANBU in my opinion, but should aim to renogotiate your office start time to reflect what is achievable and also your time spent work extra at home each day.

OP, have you told your boss how long the morning work actually takes? And does he agree that it should take this long, or does he think you're being inefficient?

You mentioned that your dd always wakes and gets upset during the morning shift. Does this add to the time that it takes you to get the job done? Are you solely focused on work till 7am or are you half working, half trying to comfort dd? Or does your DP take care of dd during this time, and could he not get her ready while you're finishing your work?

You also said that you don't take a lunchbreak - why not? If you work more than six hours in a shift, I believe you are legally required to take a 20 minute break (unpaid). Is it that you work through this break, or does your employer not allow you to take it? When do you eat?

I really don't care what time my team members arrive for work unless their lateness has an impact on clients or colleagues. You obviously feel that there isn't an impact in your place, and if this is correct, then I agree that they are being petty, but your boss obviously disagrees. Have you asked him to explain this?

Jinsei boss reckons I should be able to do it in 45 mins but this is impossible.

OK, so I think that's the crux of your problem. If your boss thinks you're doing a job at 5am which takes 45 mins max, he clearly won't understand why you can't be in at 10am. I can see why he might think you're taking the piss if you then turn up late.

Why does it take so much longer than he thinks it should? Has he ever done the job himself, and could he do it within this timeframe? Who did it before they employed you, and how long did it take then? Do you think you're doing it as efficiently as possible?

If you've agreed to arrive at work an hour late in exchange for doing an early 45 minute task, then you need to find a way of getting to the office on time. However, if you agreed to this arrangement on the understanding that it was a 45 minute task, but actually it's not feasible to complete the work in this time, then you need to renegotiate. Is there any way of showing your boss how long it actually takes? Could he do it one morning just to see? If he did, are you confident that it would take him as long as it takes you?

Jinsei it just does. I've been doing it for over 3 months and it just takes as long as it takes. It doesn't help that my daughter sometimes wakes up in the middle and has to be ministered to either. But even taking that out of the equation, it still takes, on a good day, an hour and a quarter.

So who was doing it before you started?

They are being unreasonable, but you are not helping yourself I think.

• 5am job. Takes 2 hrs but boss thinks it can be done in 45 minutes. Agree that this needs to be sorted: did you get any training on how to do it? Can boss show you how he would do it in 45 minutes? If it only took 45 minutes presumably you could start at 6am (not 5 - more sleep) and finish at 6:45am (more time to get out of the house; you might even be able to get the earlier train). If you do 45 minutes' work - as agreed with boss - does it matter if it has not been completed? Can it be completed when you get to the office?

• Arriving late. Personally I couldn't care less about people arriving 5 mins late if they work their full hours, but some people think this is extremely important and it sounds like you are working for one of them. The suggestion above about renegotiating your start time is a really good one. But I do think sorting the 5am work (e.g. as per above) might be a better way forward.

• Working longer than your contracted hours - and longer than everyone else. It appears that because your 5am job is taking 2hrs you are working, unpaid, more than everyone else but receiving no more remuneration (and being told off by your boss for lateness). This isn't really on. Your boss is probably one of those people who doesn't believe anyone does any work if he doesn't have his eye on them so maybe working from home at 5am is never going to satisfy him.

Can you not just drop the 5am work and maybe decrease your working hours slightly so you can get the earlier train, arrive on time, go home at a sensible time and be under far less stress.