or is my work? really need some sensible advice here

[commutingnightmares]

Have name changed for this as its sensitive.

Feel free to tell me if I'm being entitled but its really starting to stress me out and make me depressed and I need some advice about whether I have any rights or whether I just need a good talking to.

I'm a few months into a new job. Generally OK, colleagues are nice, work is interesting though the pay is worse than I was on before (long story). By and large everything is OK apart from one thing.

As part of my work I'm required to do a job from home very early in the morning (from just after 5am) which takes anything from an hour 15 mins to nearly 2 hours. I took this on readily and the quid pro quo is that I get to start an hour later than my colleagues, which suits me as it helps with my childcare drop off.

After I finish this shift I then have to get my daughter up, get her ready, get myself ready and get a bus and a train to drop her off at childcare before getting to my desk. I made clear before starting that the drop-off was non-negotiable -- my DH can't do the morning drop-off. This was accepted when I took the job.

Due to transport problems I sometimes get in a few minutes after my official start time. This varies but it works out on average that I'm about 5 minutes late most days, sometimes on time, sometimes more, but never very late.

My boss is now saying that I need to get in earlier and that I have to be in by the start time or else, ideally even earlier. I've pointed out to him that due to the fact that the lateness is always accounted for by transport problems, I can't do anything about this (my train network is really rubbish and services rarely run to time). I can't get an earlier train and still get the job done in good time and then attend to all the things I need to do to get my daughter ready, its simply not possible (I've tried).

The morning job is really really stressful for me, my daughter always wakes up in the middle of it and usually gets distressed and upset that I'm working.

I've offered to drop the morning job in order to get in earlier. Boss still isn't happy. Basically the key bone of contention seems to be that I have to be in exactly at the start time on the dot or else. If I'm even a couple of minutes late this seems to be a major problem for them, even though there are other people around and its not clear to me that it makes a massive difference, its usually pretty quiet at that time of day.

I could potentially move my daughter to another childcare provider closer to my home but this would only make a marginal difference to the commute and would be quite a wrench for her as she is settled where she is so I don't want to do this unless I really have to.

To my knowledge there aren't any other issues with my work, or at least none that I've been made aware of.

This is massively impacting my quality of life upsetting my DH and my daughter and constantly in trouble at work, I feel I can't win. I'm busting a gut every morning to get everything done on time and still seem incapable of pleasing anyone. A couple of friends one of whom is a lawyer -- have said they think the boss may be on shaky ground in terms of equal ops and should watch it. I don't want to get into anything ugly, but I can't help feeling that I'm being put under pressure that's verging on being unreasonable.

Can anyone give any advice?

Am I right in thinking that the morning job is what enables your 10am start, which you need for child are drop off. It's not then as simple as saying drop the morning job and start t 10 because is you dropped the morning job they would want you in at 9, which you can't do?

jacks yes this is an issue. I probably could save some time if I moved childminder. If it comes to it I may have to do this.

I would prefer not to because my dd is very happy and settled where she is with good friends and will be at school in a year and a half so it seems like a lot of upheaval just to get in a few minutes earlier. It's also not clear to me that it would save enough time to make that much of an impact. But as I say it may come to that.

Tiglette without the morning job I could get in an hour earlier, roughly speaking, same pattern as the train which gets in at 10 just an hour earlier. Again it would depend on the reliability of the trains (which is poor) so again there would be a risk I wouldn't exactly hit 9am.

It would depend on whether my "core" hours were reset to 9am or left at 10. It is a possible solution but a flawed one.

Address the morning task.its stressing you out and dd interrupts you
When that sorted you then free to work regular hours
It's new post,Are you in any kind of probation

You seem to be resigned to being habitually late,oh trains might not make 9am?
You really need to be more bothered about arriving on time it clearly bothers your manager
You need to get childcare,and a routine that gets you in on time

scottish I am not resigned to being late. As I have explained there are a limited number of services I can take. My train is late far more than it is on time (I have written to the regulator about it. I can't get an earlier one without eating into the time to do the early job.

What other routes,times are available to you?you said in op by ceasing morning task you'd be on time?
if you can't make 9 you must get a fwa to reflect this.i can't see its feasible to be habitually late
Negotiate later start time and adhere to it

There are no other feasible routes which would get me on quicker. I have researched this.

Thank goodness jacks has mentioned changing childcare. I've just read this whole thread and can't believe how little focus this has got. You take a train and a bus to get your DD to her childcare. Maybe you live in the middle of nowhere and don't drive, but otherwise this is nuts. A year+ till school is a long time (esp when 5mins is causing all the trouble here). Surely it would solve everything if you could drop your DD nearby at 7.30. How long would it take you to get into work then? And if it's still not until after 10am, why do you live so far from your work?

If I were you I'd change the childcare in a heartbeat and enjoy the much easier morning routine. I'd also talk to the senior staff who did the 45min job as others have suggested, but really as your name suggests it's the commute that sounds like the nightmare here. A bus and a train to a CM is a PITA whatever time you start work. And even if the change is a little unsettling at first, you'll all be better off with her closer to home

In that case
A)cease the morning job,get in for 9. You said dropping this task makes 9 achievable
B) or be open with employer that you have limited travel and cannot arrive for 9.negotiate a fwa on that basis

You cannot just let this remain unaddressed.clearly manager annoyed and you're stressed

If you're manager is requesting you in for a prescribed team,you need to comply

If you're saying you couldn't drop the morning job and do a straight 9-5 either, then I think there is a problem with your time management. Sorry. And I say that as someone who regularly arrives in work at 9.05 after having dropped my dd at school. The difference is, it isn't an issue for my employer and my manager agrees that there is no impact on my role. If my boss said I had to be there at 9am sharp, I would have to make alternative arrangements.

It doesn't matter whether you think getting in on time is important. If your employer expects you to adhere to a particular start time, then you need to adhere to it, renegotiate start times or look for another job.

As for the lunch hour issue, I've worked through many a lunchbreak and I still do at times, but I know I'm less productive when I do this and it generally is down to poor planning. I see it in the staff in my team too. Those who don't take breaks think they are working harder than everyone else, but on the basis of my observations, I think they are just less efficient. Those who do take proper time out at lunchtime - even just 20 minutes - tend to return much fresher and more focused. They deal with pressure more effectively and take less work home with them. All professional salaried jobs.

I'm not saying that people shouldn't ever drop their breaks. If you're working to a tight deadline, it's often inevitable. But for those who regularly work through without a proper break, I think it's just poor work habits tbh. I used to have that habit too, but I'm trying to retrain myself.

Should've said that journey to your CM would be ok if it also took you right to the door of work but sounds like it's nowhere near home or work. Is there really not a more convenient option?

I think the issue here is that the OP would probably find a way of getting to work on time if she felt it was important - say, if she was in a customer-facing role for example - but she feels that it isn't important in her role and therefore she shouldn't have to bother. Now she may well be right that it isn't that important in her particular role, and her manager might just be an inflexible arse, but as her employer, that's his prerogative.

OP, if you can't renegotiate your start times, you may have to change your childcare or look for another job.

IMO you need to rethink this job altogether. Your childcare and commuting issues are yours to solve not your employers.

Regarding the extra hours you are doing unfortunately with many managers if they cant see you then unless there is constant proof that you are working they will assume that you are at Tesco's or something. I have had a few line managers like that over the years and these have been senior corporate managers. The only way of challenging this is the constant email thing.

Something to watch out for is if you are on MS Messenger or the like. Time away from your laptop will be visible.

I am guessing that the 'it should take 45 minutes' thing has simply been plucked from the air. Again, sadly, some managers are like that. You could prove that it takes longer but they simply wont believe it. Any reason you give for the job taking longer will always be perceived as an excuse (again, I have experience of this kind of manager).

Something to watch out for is if you are on MS Messenger or the like. Time away from your laptop will be visible.

I do agree with scottishmummy about the time/work management issue. It sounds like you are used to a culture of long work hours with high rewards. However I am not sure that you are in that type of role. Your manager wants you to complete tasks within a particular time.

Are you sure that the long hours are really appreciated or wanted by your manager? Some managers really dont want this, they want calm efficiency not conspicuous effort.

I do have sympathy for this, I am not good at saying no to extra work and find myself working stupidly long hours to get things done. My colleague takes on no extra work, arrives at 9, leaves at 5 takes her lunch break and is paid exactly the same as me. I realise that this is my problem and not hers.

Ignore manager. Go to HR manager and discuss. Be open that there is a problem which needs addressing but you can't get to a solution by yourself and need their assistance to help find an acceptable solution.

Maybe scottishmummy could come and show you how to manage your workload? She seems like she knows it all...

I've done the same job across many different companies and industries and workloads vary drastically. At some companies I have strolled in at 9am and strolled out at 5.30pm on the dot. Other companies I have worked long hours and through lunch literally running to try to stand still because the workload has been HUGE. In those situations, everyone was in exactly the same boat and it was a cultural thing. Whingeing to the boss that you have too much to do because you haven't time for a full lunch hour just doesn't wash. I've discovered that the way a lot of people deal with work overload is just to ignore the less important things unless someone starts screaming for it.

If my boss wasn't helping me to find a practical solution then i would be questioning my loyalty to him/her/the company.

Yanbu but i would steer clear of wfh in a new job as it's invisible. Personally, I'd look for a new job and a child minder since 9 is also difficult.

I think tour boss is being petty and that you should be entitled to flexible working. As someone else said maybe your boss needs to be seen to be treating everyone the same but you are the one getting up extremely early to start work anyway and you have explained your reasons for five minutes late.

Can you cut the time off your lunch break?

I think people are missing the point re core hours and flexible working - the OP already has flexible working.

She has to work a set number of hours per week, core hours are the times that she has to be physically there, she has the flexibility to start any time from 0900 to 1000, and finish any time from 1600 to 1700.

By being late for her core hours she is late, even with flexibility - this is why the boss is annoyed.

Could both you and DH get up at 4:45 ? That way you can start your morning job earlier and he can be there for DD so you aren't interrupted. If she wakes he can get her ready so you leave the house earlier if not maybe he could do breakfast or whatever helps. Assume you already get everything you can ready the day before to save time in the morning ?

Agree with everyone else about talking about the time the morning job actually takes and seeing if you can negotiate a 10:30 start either by finishing later or agreeing the morning job takes 1.5 hrs on average.

I'm not in dispute with work,unlike the op.I've given op advice here.she may chose to accept it or not
Given the op is stressed,in dispute with her work,I suggest focus remain on her
Clearly this cannot go on.in a new role being in dispute with manager and unhappy.they all need to work to mutual resolution

Can't you just drop the early morning job from home even if they don't want that? Just say getting up that early is not good for you and makes you late for work. That is probably the best solution.

I don't think that commute is unusual, for all the posters saying its too long. I wake the kids at 7, we leave just after 8, walk to school arriving 8.40, I'm out of the yard at 8.55. If I then worked where dh does, indeed where many people do, it's an hours journey at best, which would be 10am. I'm just lucky that my commute is less than his!

Cannot believe the comments on here - op your boss is being deeply unreasonable . Before moving childcare - which sounds an awful option - I would go to hr and talk this through thoroughly.

Have I got this right ? they pay you for upto 2 hours in the morning (5am -7am) and then pay you for 6 hours during the day (10-4) and you start at 10 instead of 9 to make it a bit easier for you to sort out your dc and get to work (sounds like they are doing you a favour because you have a ridiculously long commute) ?

If you took the job on these terms yabu as you cant meet this and end up late to work most the time. It was your responsibility when they offered you the job to make sure you could get there on time. Presumably when you took the job you were told this early morning work could take up to 2 hours??

If they hadnt been told you this then you're within your rights to complain.

Sounds to me like you've taken a job too far away and dont want to admit that you cant get there on time. That's your fault really not your employers.