or is my work? really need some sensible advice here

[commutingnightmares]

Have name changed for this as its sensitive.

Feel free to tell me if I'm being entitled but its really starting to stress me out and make me depressed and I need some advice about whether I have any rights or whether I just need a good talking to.

I'm a few months into a new job. Generally OK, colleagues are nice, work is interesting though the pay is worse than I was on before (long story). By and large everything is OK apart from one thing.

As part of my work I'm required to do a job from home very early in the morning (from just after 5am) which takes anything from an hour 15 mins to nearly 2 hours. I took this on readily and the quid pro quo is that I get to start an hour later than my colleagues, which suits me as it helps with my childcare drop off.

After I finish this shift I then have to get my daughter up, get her ready, get myself ready and get a bus and a train to drop her off at childcare before getting to my desk. I made clear before starting that the drop-off was non-negotiable -- my DH can't do the morning drop-off. This was accepted when I took the job.

Due to transport problems I sometimes get in a few minutes after my official start time. This varies but it works out on average that I'm about 5 minutes late most days, sometimes on time, sometimes more, but never very late.

My boss is now saying that I need to get in earlier and that I have to be in by the start time or else, ideally even earlier. I've pointed out to him that due to the fact that the lateness is always accounted for by transport problems, I can't do anything about this (my train network is really rubbish and services rarely run to time). I can't get an earlier train and still get the job done in good time and then attend to all the things I need to do to get my daughter ready, its simply not possible (I've tried).

The morning job is really really stressful for me, my daughter always wakes up in the middle of it and usually gets distressed and upset that I'm working.

I've offered to drop the morning job in order to get in earlier. Boss still isn't happy. Basically the key bone of contention seems to be that I have to be in exactly at the start time on the dot or else. If I'm even a couple of minutes late this seems to be a major problem for them, even though there are other people around and its not clear to me that it makes a massive difference, its usually pretty quiet at that time of day.

I could potentially move my daughter to another childcare provider closer to my home but this would only make a marginal difference to the commute and would be quite a wrench for her as she is settled where she is so I don't want to do this unless I really have to.

To my knowledge there aren't any other issues with my work, or at least none that I've been made aware of.

This is massively impacting my quality of life upsetting my DH and my daughter and constantly in trouble at work, I feel I can't win. I'm busting a gut every morning to get everything done on time and still seem incapable of pleasing anyone. A couple of friends one of whom is a lawyer -- have said they think the boss may be on shaky ground in terms of equal ops and should watch it. I don't want to get into anything ugly, but I can't help feeling that I'm being put under pressure that's verging on being unreasonable.

Can anyone give any advice?

You have to get to work on time regardless of childcare issues or problems with transport, end of. It's the same for every body I'm afraid.
If you are 5 minutes late every day it all adds up and I can see why your boss is getting pissed off your time keeping is atrocious and lots of people would have had got the sack by now.

If your finish time is 5, why do you finish 5/10 minutes early? It really does sound like you're taking the piss, or don't realise the nature of having a job.

For the love of God, can no one read?

Ordinary working hours are 9-5. Everybody else is there 9-5.

The OP starts at 5.15am. She finishes at 7am. She gets to work at about 10am. She finishes at about 4.50pm. How does that equate to everybody else's 9-5?

Ok London, but she also said "Yes, I am paid for the early work" I don't know if that is on top of the official 9-5. I think it is (can't imagine why she would agree to it otherwise!) so she's getting a "free" hour which I would imagine causes un-rest in the office

I sympathise with you.. for some companies, physically 'being' in the office is all that counts.. I expect there are plenty of colleagues that arrive on time and then spend far longer making coffee / eating cereal / gossiping.

That said; what did you agree when you negotiated the late start so you could do the drop off? Did you agree that 10:00am would be your start time?

If you did, you probably need to look at finding ways of being there on time. If it's a style of office that mainly has office-based staff, arriving after 10.00am is likely to make you stand out.

If your early shift finishes at 7.00am, is it really a 3 hour turn around for you to get to the office? Could you make that shorter? Get things ready the night before?

OP YANBU

You are contracted to work 9 to 5 = 8 hours
You actually work 1.45 hours plus 6.50 hours = 8 hours 35 mins

So you work more than you are supposed to plus work in the evenings as well.

Unless I am being dumb, you need to point this out to your boss.

Spacecraft
No I am not paid extra for the early work. I am effectively working for at least an extra 45 mins more than my colleagues. Which is fine, I don't mind that. What I am struggling with is that despite the fact that its this early work which is (mainly) what's making me late I am being penalised.

Actually... on the other hand. Does your boss know the 5:00am job takes longer than an hour? Does it REALLY take longer than an hour?

If so - spell it out to him. Also start sending emails at 5.00am through to 7.00am too - make yourself more 'visible', so people are aware that you may not be 'in' but you are working.

Yes, I do agree three hours for getting child ready and commute is just too much- that has to be reduced, different childcarer? different route in? change jobs and work more from home?

Who does the evening pick-up? I have a horrible feeling you are doing it all, and if this is the case, then having a nursery a bus and a train ride away is probably not doable long-term.

Actually I'm changing my mind a bit. Are you late because of when your drop off time for your DC is? Is that where the delay is? Because that is harder to change but would ask at the nursery / school about breakfast club.

If you are running late because you are having to squeeze in extra work in the morning I would start being religious about stopping work after an hour (I take it you remote login so would be easy to verify how long you are working), unless you are being paid extra pro rata for that time in which case you'll need to accept the financial loss. In the long term it may be better to work just one hour and then add the additional work to the end of the day.

If they are being arsey about the clock you can be too.

When OP said early on that she was paid for the early work, if I am understanding her 16.50 post correctly, she meant it was part of her contracted hours, not something she was expected to do unpaid.

commuting be really assertive and point this out. Don't be a doormat and work nearly an hour extra a day for nothing. If they are that inflexible and clock-watching, then you need to respond in kind. So far you and your family are losing out and your boss is still on your case. Being nice and cooperative to the detriment of your health and family life is pointless and not even appreciated in your workplace, so don't do it.

I'm assuming its IT related as well. I have a friend who does something like this. She works from home for an American company and starts at about 5am working on their systems which is during their night time.

Anyway, what the job actually involves isn't really the main point . If the OP has negotiated a deal whereby she works the early bit in order to start later at say, 10am, then she's being unreasonable in turning up late

The fact that the early job takes variable times is also irrelevant if she's salaried. A lot of tasks sometimes take longer than they do at other times: you just accept that's part of the job. If she's on an hourly wage I guess that puts a different slant on things- but it's still unreasonable for the OP to arrive late if she's contracted to start at a specified time

This is the sort of petty crap that used to drive me mad with past, 'rules is rules' type bosses.

Having led a team, the people who got in at 9.05 never worried me. I had one on my last team, he was late most mornings, but worked til 6 or later every night, and rarely took a lunchbreak. Personally I'd rather someone like that than the 90% of my office who got in at 8.30 but never started work until the dot of 9, took 59.5 mins lunch every day, and were already up and walking out the door at 5 every day. Oddly, my own manager found no problem with that behaviour, but expected me to discipline the late arriver, despite being much more productive and conscientious, and working far longer, than any of his colleagues.

Op, in your situation you would appear to have excellent grounds for a flexible working request - ask to move your start and finish times forward half an hour, or if you can't finish later, agree to take only 30 mins for lunch. Frankly, your manager should have been offering this as a solution, not just nagging you to get in earlier.

I suggest that for the next week or 2 you keep v. careful track of your hours (no cheating!) and log all your hours and activities. Pro-rate this to the monthly/annual hours that you are actually contributing.

At the end of that period, set up a meeting to speak with your supervisor, show them the actual hours you're working and explain that you are already working considerably over your contracted hours. Try to come to some agreed compromise on flexibility, timekeeping and contracted hours, and ask for any resolution in writing.

Maybe she did London but I don't think it's clear and wanted to clarify.

As you're not OP being paid extra for the early start, then I'm going to change my position completely and say you need to re-negotiate. Your employer is getting a "free" 45 mins most days. Why is he not able to see that and allow your late start to be, say, 1:30hrs later than the official start?

I still think you need to turn up on time for whatever the agreed start is but the agreement, as it is, doesn't seem very fair to you.

Let's look at this from a different angle. 3 hours to get a child organised, dressed, fed, dropped off then for you to commute to work is bonkers and not making any sense to me. How much of this is your commute and how much is time spent at home? There are a few threads on morning routines/ bring more organised on here which may help you op. unless 2.5 hours of this is your commute you can definitely speed things up. Which yes, may involve changing your childcare provider if for eg it's in the opposite direction to your work.

commuting - how is it the early work that's making you late?

What time do you need to leave your house to get your daughter to childcare and yourself to your work?

Like WilsonFrickett said - it does seem that 3 hours between finishing 'early work' and physically getting to the office is an inordinately long time.

Also - I know you've said your DP doing a share is not an option; any reason why not? Sometimes children's routines / husband's routines DO have to change when you work full time....

Definitely I agree with those suggesting that this job sounds unsustainable long term OP, it sounds awful. Those who have made nasty comments about the OP not being a grown up should apologise.

BBCEssex
Because I can't get the earlier train if I do this work. I finish at 7 which leaves 20 minutes to get everything ready to be out of the door. This means I have to get a later train which gets me in (just) for 10.

Silly petty boss.
Does the fact that you could be 10 mins "late" on occasions impact on anyone else's work?

I know this may sound silly, but could you renogiate your contract to start at 1015 am?
Then you wont be late?
It could be that you have a boss that is a rules are rules boss, so if the time is changed, then he will be happy.

They are not being reasonable and it is causing you stress. Make a proper flexible working request as per their policy if this is refused I would ask for an informal meeting with your manager and hr and make it clear that your complaint is informal at this stage but due to the stress if you get no joy I would either leave or raise it as a formal girevance. Good luck op.

You do 2 hours 40 minutes travelling each way, including the nursery drop-off? Seriously, is it worth it? If I were you I would definitely be looking for a nursery nearer to home or nearer to work.

Golddigger: that's what he says but when I do arrive it invariably is dead quiet so its hard to see how that's the case.