to not wanted exH to bring my daughter home?

[flummoxedbanana]

Dd, 6, felt ill after school yesterday. She had a temperature, earache, off her food etc. ExH was supposed to be collecting her from school today but as it seemed she wouldn't be going I asked ifhe wanted to collect her last night instead as it's on his way home from work and it saves him the hour trip here. He did so but has called this morning saying he thinks dd has chicken pox and wants to bring her home now as his gf is pregnant. His gf has had it twice and though it's unlikely she'd catch it, I appreciate them wanting to be careful.

However, he hasn't seen dd for a month and won't again for another three weeks. I've had no time to wrap presents etc and this was my weekend to get organised for Christmas. Dd has had a sickness bug and ear infection in the past month and my other dd has been poorly too so I've had countless sleepless nights looking after them, so much so I've developed eczema which is a reaction to being run down according to my doctor. Dd is upset and asked that his gf stay elsewhere as she hasn't seen her dad for so long. Her mum lives round the corner so she could do that. ExH, however, said its her home too and he's not going to ask her to do that. Dd said 'i thought it was my home too?'

AIBU in thinking it shouldn't always be up to me to deal with everything? If dd had had chicken pox when I was pregnant it's not as if I could or would have shipped her out until she was no longer contagious.

I think she is best off with you. It sounds as though he will be unlikely to cope with the realities of his next family either. Probably stormy times ahead in that household.

Sock, thank you so much for all that info. I have a close relative with non-Hodgekins; though it's currently in remission she was instantly hospitalised when she had Norovirus so I would imagine getting dd vaccinated might be done on that basis. I was worried when DS had it.

I didn't actually know vaccines took that long to trigger immunity - appreciate this mum is probably already exposed, but had no idea it took almost 3 weeks. Useful info, again thank you.

OP, my heart goes out to you, and your daughter. It must be hell on wheels as a parent to see the other parent doing this to your child, and being unable to stop it. He's a complete shit, and I'm afraid I pity the GF rather a lot. Babies throw a huge spanner into the works of any relationship, and the honeymoon period's going to grind to a screeching halt when this one is born. On his track record he's going to make another woman and child homeless when it all gets a bit boring, this responsibility lark.

If it's any consolation at all, you're the best place for your dd to be right now. With the parent who genuinely loves her deeply and unconditionally. And when she grows up, that will be the foundation she can build on. But that probably isn't a whole lot of consolation right now, I appreciate.

If it's his contact time, then he's the resident parent during that time and he should be dealing with his child's needs. He should do whatever he would do if he had full custody of her. GF should have understood this before committing to a relationship with him and she should also do whatever she would do if he had full custody of her.

Huge hugs. Completely see where you are coming from. Of course you want your dd to have contact but it also means you can have a bit of a break too. Anyone who criticises you for that has obviously never had to look after two children completely alone without a break.

I cannot believe he turned your dd room into a nursery, his gf must be as much of an insensitive twat as him to let him do that.

No advice, just sending you a hug.