Do I make an overweight guest sit on a different chair?

[trice]

I have invited my dsis and her new partner over for dinner. He is very overweight, probably in the region of 25 st.

In my dining room I have an inherited antique dining table with Windsor chairs. They are old and have arms and are quite narrow.

There is no way this chap will be able to sit in one of the chairs. His bum won't fit and the chair would probably break.

So do I swap one of the chairs for a sturdy chair with a flat seat and no arms? Will that not look really obvious and embarrassing? Should I swap all the chairs? It would be really obvious to the other guests who have been before. At this rate I will be considering eating on our knees on the sofa.

I wish I hadn't invited them now, I am sure he is a nice guy but I don't know him well enough to not offend him. I can't ask dsis as she will be gutted if I mention his weight.

Just swap his chair. No-one's going to say anything - most people will be looking at the table decorations and the food rather than the chairs, surely? - and you're being considerate about his humungous backside :)

yes.

it would be far worse tp make him suffer by trying to jam himself into something that's too small.

I think you are right, I would not have invited him at all. I don't ever have fat people or ugly people here, tbh. It is really embarrassing if I haven't met them before and they turn out to be fat - I have to ask them to leave or at least eat normal portions.

My DM and DSIS would both much prefer to be offered a seat they can sit on than one with arms.

I have a similar issue with one of my friends who is very large, but, after breaking no fewer than 3 of my dining chairs, she now suggests that she sits elsewhere when she comes round. I would just swap the chair.

Another one who says just swap his chair. I don't think it would be noticeable and it would be much worse for him to have the embarrassment of not fitting in your chair.

Swap a couple or few it will look obvious its just his if not

It is nice of you to consider him as he would be embarrassed if he turned up and had to ask for another chair or worse the chair broke.myou are right to have another chair ready don't regret inviting him as no one will be more aware of his size and the problems it causes than him.

Swap a couple, head and foot of the table perhaps?

Swap a couple.
So you don't make it completely obvious....
And then have a word with yourself about regretting the invite because the guy doesn't fit into your decor.

Depending on the number of guests and chairs you have, I'd be considering strategically removing a few of them so as to allow you to substitute a more suitable one for your Ds's OH without it being too obvious.

So if you have six people coming, and six chairs, take two away, pretend it is actually a set of FOUR chairs, and add two more different ones "to make room for all of us" - one of the substitute chairs can be suitable for Ds's OH, and you can guide him towards it (maybe do a seating plan?).

Hopefully the people who've previously visited you will clock what you're doing and not out you, but if you're not sure they're that quick on the uptake have a word with them in advance.

This is either one of the best ideas I've ever had or I'm vastly overthinking things. It's a little early in the day to tell. Need more

Replace a couple of chairs and say they're damaged, that way he isn't singled out.

Why are you embarrassed op your not the one who's huge backside is being discussed on mn. Charming!
Swap the damn chairs, who cares what chair they will be sat on as long as it's comfortable. Jeez it's not difficult!

Oh. What everyone else said. Except much more succinctly

Or just buy cheap seat covers?

OMG!! You really started a thread because you worry about your chairs- a sensible person thinks ok this chap will need a different chair, no issue really. Your making an issue out of it. Im sure he knows he is overweight and that he has a different chair because the others are very small, he will be relieved that you were kind enough not to put him through the ordeal of changing chair last minute in front of everyone.

you really wish you hadn't invited him because he fat?? I really don't think you need mention to dsis unless you want to borrow a suitable chair in advance and she would understand.

will you be serving him salad too....

Snort at Flossy. I might ban super mega fat MIL for simply offending my eyes...

If you can swap three with other dining chairs, do it, and say as you go in 'sorry about the chairs all being swapped round, three of the dining chairs are knackered - tipped hot fat all over the seats so they're getting recovered'.

How nice of you to be so thoughtful towards him.

Some of you are being really hard on the OP. It's an awkward situation because she doesn't know the guy well and she wants to avoid embarrassing him, which is thoughtful.

OP I know it is tricky but you do need to protect your furniture! So maybe have a couple of the other chairs or alternate them or something? Over time as you get to know him better it will be easier to just have 'his' chair.

Mismatched dining chairs are normal at Christmas. Just give him a different chair and think no more about it.

Yes, I am probably overthinking. He probably already knows how to choose a seat. I just want the evening to go well so we can get to know each other. I wouldn't want a guest to feel uncomfortable.

I will serve a bowl of pom bears so everyone will be wondering about that rather than the seating.

Head and foot of table sounds like a cunning plan.

I think the best idea on here is to have different chairs for both ends of the table.
And of course you should be inviting him!

Spot on x post!

Double snort at flossy! I am a chubber size 16 (ooh outed myself!) I would be delighted that my size could be a factor in any subsequent dinner invites, hopefully this would mean I get more puddings than anyone else. Because that is all I eat. Big fat chocolate puddings to offend my skinny friends!