Do I make an overweight guest sit on a different chair?

[trice]

I have invited my dsis and her new partner over for dinner. He is very overweight, probably in the region of 25 st.

In my dining room I have an inherited antique dining table with Windsor chairs. They are old and have arms and are quite narrow.

There is no way this chap will be able to sit in one of the chairs. His bum won't fit and the chair would probably break.

So do I swap one of the chairs for a sturdy chair with a flat seat and no arms? Will that not look really obvious and embarrassing? Should I swap all the chairs? It would be really obvious to the other guests who have been before. At this rate I will be considering eating on our knees on the sofa.

I wish I hadn't invited them now, I am sure he is a nice guy but I don't know him well enough to not offend him. I can't ask dsis as she will be gutted if I mention his weight.

I'm fairly large and would LOVE you for being so considerate.

And don't bother with all the malarkey of swapping several chairs.

Imtotally in agreement with BeeMum.

Oh just put him in the garden.

LyingWitch - we did manage to compose ourselves enough to haul her out in the end. It was awful though. She was so embarrassed and it was agony trying not to laugh. Cost me a fortune getting the sofa re-strapped afterwards as well!

Ohh... thank you for the update, Spiderlight, I've been wondering the outcome all evening.

Right, I have put a big tablecloth on instead of placemats and a sparkly Christmas runner. I have alternated kitchen and dining chairs so all the blokes get a kitchen chair. I also did gendered crackers (tiny bottles of hot sauce for gents, little star charm bracelets for ladies) . It looks quite nice. Thanks for the ideas.

I have made the cocktails, the starters, the desserts and the oatcakes for the cheese. I think we are set for tomorrow

Quite looking forward to it now.

Spiderlight, I once got locked in the loo requiring the door to be broken down in a friends house, causing expensive damage and great embarrassment. So I feel for your poor friend. And your poor sofa.

trice dude, don't forget the Pom Bears!

Totally saved your ass, right there.

As Peter Kay says 'emergency chairs, every family has got em'. It's not a family get together if the furniture matches!

Not sure whether the offering to cut up the P.O.R.G's sausage or the fat aunt crashing through the sofa made me laugh the most!!

Thought the term 'PORG' was either a joke or a 5min pc term from the 90's ... not heard it for years!

I think Peter Kay needs a position on the Mumsnet moderator team.

Swap them all. A big reason for that is that small people don't think and one will probably take the bigger chair if you only put one out and then the guy will be stuck with one of tiddly chairs anyway. Do you not have any other bigger friends? These chairs sound like they are made for children!
It's very rude that you don't want him there because of this. Please don't be precious about chairs.

Hope you are busy having a fab time

Thanks Chipping, we had a ball! Turns out everyone actually prefers pom bears to vegetable crisps that looklike pot purri. Dsis new partner was very charming and sscarily intelligent, a great guest.

Chair arrangements worked out well. Everyone was comfortable and nothing embarrassing happened. Boring but satisfactory end to a thread.

I'm glad the op is thinking about it. As a large person myself it is something I worry about, and I often turn down invitation because I worry about chairs and fitting in them or breaking them.

Swap some of the chairs, put place names so everyone knows where they are sitting and don't mention the chairs unless anyone else does, in which case it's that they've had to go for repair. Obviously don't have them anywhere else people may see them.

It's kind that you are considering his comfort even though it does look like you are more worried for your chairs.

That's a fab update, OP. I knew it would work out well; how could it not when you're so considerate of other people?

Ahhh, well done OP :) You handled it beautifully

So no Mike Leigh type drama ensued? No inappropriate jokes or even a spillage or embarrassing cracker gift? No feuding relatives making cutting remarks over the wine toasting? No broken chairs?

Bah humbug but happy Christmas anyway.

I have a very dear morbidly obese friend who brings his own "special comfy" ( reinforced steel) chair.

He knows he's huge but chooses not to deal with it.
We just wait till he wants to.

He's broken three of my dining chairs and three garden chairs.