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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to expect the school to spell my child's name correctly?

147 replies

QueenofKelsingra · 09/12/2013 13:03

DS1 has a name that uses an accent on one of the letters. to be clear, this isn't some stupid attempt to make a name 'modern' or whatever, we are a bilingual family and DS1's name is from my husband's country. The accent is important, it changes the pronunciation of the name. His name is similar to an English version barring the accent and the change of one other letter.

everything that comes home is missing the accent, at least half has the wrong spelling completely (so the English spelling, not the foreign one).

I have spoken to the school twice and they just look at me like I'm making a fuss over nothing. AIBU to expect them to make the effort to get his name right?? i like to keep his school things - nativity programmes etc - in his memory box and it is annoying me that it all has his name spelt wrong!

So AIBU??

OP posts:
eurochick · 09/12/2013 13:05

Not everyone knows how to type with accents.

sonlypuppyfat · 09/12/2013 13:06

Is it difficult to type? Perhaps no offence is meant by it, its just quicker to do it without the accent.

Quoteunquote · 09/12/2013 13:07

Fill a couple of pages of A4 with his name printed, give one to the school office and one to the teacher, tell them to cut them out as needed.Grin

bundaberg · 09/12/2013 13:08

yes, I was going to suggest that maybe they can't do the accent on typed documents?

not that that necessarily means you are being unreasonable... I'm kind of on the fence on this one as I know I would find it annoying too. Like you say, it changes the name totally

CrohnicallySick · 09/12/2013 13:08

YANBU. However, it's worth asking if you can see his central record to make sure it is typed correctly on there. It's possible that it was mistyped when he joined the school, so staff are unaware of how his name should be spelled. We have had this happen before, sometimes it's a human error, sometimes flipping autocorrect, and it's possible that they were unable to type the accent (on some versions of word it's very tricky to put one on!)

FryOneFatManic · 09/12/2013 13:09

Given the number of people in this country with foreign names, I think the accent is irrelevant, and the school should be spelling the name properly.

And I speak as someone who does have an unusual name (although no accent) and I spent a large part of my childhood getting pissed off at incorrect versions of my name. It meant a lot to me to have my name spelled correctly.

FryOneFatManic · 09/12/2013 13:10

It's actually very easy to type accents etc onto documents. I do this for a colleague who has one on her name.

Quoteunquote · 09/12/2013 13:10

Not everyone knows how to type with accents.

It's a school, I bet they could find someone to share the secret of how to, or they could use a search engine and ask how to add accent to letters

www.google.co.uk/#q=ask+how+to+add+accent+to+letters+in+word

www.google.co.uk/#q=ask+how+to+add+accent+to+letters+on+mac

Original poster
QueenofKelsingra · 09/12/2013 13:13

quote i love that idea! Grin

crohnically that is a good point about checking his main record, i will go in and see them to check.

the first time i mentioned it i emailed and explained how you find accents on word - and lets face it, if you are a admin/reception/office person you should be able to use word properly. you only need to go to insert symbol, it's not hard. and if they really cant find it, a black biro after it's printed would have the desired effect!

plus, its the same accent used in café which autocorrects itself for you in this instance so if all else fails, type this and then delete and retype around it!

OP posts:
WoodBurnerBabe · 09/12/2013 13:16

You can set up your own AutoCorrects in Word as well, so they could easily set up so that every time they typed his name it would correct to have the accent in it. I assume there is no child with the exact same name without the accent in at school?

Original poster
QueenofKelsingra · 09/12/2013 13:18

good point woodburner. I don't believe the name exists with this spelling without the accent (which I guess doesn't preclude people from using it wrongly....whole other thread about inventing names for children!) so they could do that I would have thought.

OP posts:
IslaValargeone · 09/12/2013 13:23

I didn't have anything fancy like accents to contend with, but my dc spent her first 3 years at primary with her name spelt incorrectly on letters, certificates and awards.
I kept going into the office to politely remind them to change it.
(I'm sure you an imagine your 5/6/7 year old getting quite hacked off at the names on achievement awards being wrong)
The woman in the office got quite nrked with me and said "Does it really matter, it's near enough"
I spent the next week walking into the office every morning with some issue or other and calling her by the wrong name until she called me on it.
I gave her the same response that she had previously given me.
My dc's name was correct on all future stuff.

Scholes34 · 09/12/2013 13:26

Very important to spell a name correctly, but I think you shouldn't get so bothered about the accent.

3bunnies · 09/12/2013 13:28

YANBU but it is probably a central record. Our school has managed to get our surname incorrect with 3 different children (despite being corrected repeatedly) on a number of class lists and often it is discussed in one of my first encounters with the teachers. The class teachers then sometimes decide that even though the class list spells it one way they know better and will spell it a different way, including telling a 6yr old that they cannot spell their own surname correctly and that they should spell it the way they do - which was different from the now correct class list. That was a particularly satisfying time when I pointed out that the 6yr was right.

I am less concerned as the children get older as they are able to ignore or correct as appropriate, I do make a fuss with the younger ones when school make it their business to get them to write their surnames they must be supporting them to write them correctly.

MissMooMoo · 09/12/2013 13:32

Scholes34 without the accent it is the incorrect spelling!

YANBU op and they should spell it properly

17leftfeet · 09/12/2013 13:34

I've had years of dd's name spelt incorrectly -English name and she has a perfectly acceptable y ending instead of the more common ie

I have up trying to correct people after yr3 as even our extended family spell it incorrectly!

She now shortens it anyway but I completely understand your frustration -names are very important

Scholes34 · 09/12/2013 13:38

If it really makes such a difference to have the accent or not, might this situation/problem have been anticipated when choosing names for a child in an English speaking country?

Yellowcake · 09/12/2013 13:43

Not unreasonable at all. It's pretty Little England-ish to think of accents as some kind of unimportant forrin frippery, rather than an integral part of the name. I am Irish and my name has an accent on one vowel. If you spell it without that accent, it is about as 'correct' as calling an Andrew Andrea or a Molly Milly.

Original poster
QueenofKelsingra · 09/12/2013 13:45

Scholes are you serious? so anyone who happens to have some non-English heritage should ignore it completely and name their children Jane or John respectively if they intend to live in England? what if we move to the other country at some point? should we change all 3 children's names by deed poll to names from the country to allow for the fact that people working in admin roles cant use basic word processing programmes??

isla maybe I should start adding accents in all my email correspondence with the office women and see if they get the hint!!

3bunnies cant believe they tried to tell your DC they couldn't spell their own names!! I agree, once they get older they can fight their own battles but when learning to recognise his own name on his peg it would be nice if it was his actual name!!

OP posts:
Yellowcake · 09/12/2013 13:45

Scholes' comment is a perfect example of this Little England attitude. Obviously anyone arriving in, or naming a child in this country should go with Emma and Tom, to stave off potential problems for people who don't know how to use Word.

Original poster
QueenofKelsingra · 09/12/2013 13:48

yellowcake that's it exactly! they just seem to think 'its only and accent' and therefore it doenst make a difference. if it didn't make a difference it wouldn't be there!!

OP posts:
ll31 · 09/12/2013 13:52

Yanbu. Definitely get main records checked, had this for years, dnot give up. Your child is as important a member of school as others and deserves to be treated as such.

purplebaubles · 09/12/2013 13:55

YANBU. However,they probably just can't type an accent on documents.

What's the name?

caruthers · 09/12/2013 14:01

I lived on Germany for a considerable amount of time and the Germans couldn't spell my (Very common) second name for want of trying.

It didn't bother me a jot.

TeacupDrama · 09/12/2013 14:01

i have a mac surname like Macdonald but not Macdonald, an alternative form is McDonald they are not interchangeable

"Mac" is generally though not exclusively Scottish ( particularily highlands) in origin from Scottish gaelic and generally is followed by lower case "d"

Mc is generally derived from Irish Gaelic and generally followed by upper case "D"

I have people tell me the computer will not allow them to spell my surname correctly Hmm

I think missing the accent is wrong but possibly understandable, office staff should know how to add accents and therefore have no excuse especially after three years; but not everyone will know how to add accents umlauts etc or understands that they are important
however spelling it wrong is much worse, that is simply a matter of typing letters in correct order
James is not the same as Jaemes, Jamie, Jim or Jimmy, Jaems etc etc though someone may use 1 or more of these

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