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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to expect the school to spell my child's name correctly?

147 replies

QueenofKelsingra · 09/12/2013 13:03

DS1 has a name that uses an accent on one of the letters. to be clear, this isn't some stupid attempt to make a name 'modern' or whatever, we are a bilingual family and DS1's name is from my husband's country. The accent is important, it changes the pronunciation of the name. His name is similar to an English version barring the accent and the change of one other letter.

everything that comes home is missing the accent, at least half has the wrong spelling completely (so the English spelling, not the foreign one).

I have spoken to the school twice and they just look at me like I'm making a fuss over nothing. AIBU to expect them to make the effort to get his name right?? i like to keep his school things - nativity programmes etc - in his memory box and it is annoying me that it all has his name spelt wrong!

So AIBU??

OP posts:
ZingSweetPea · 09/12/2013 19:46

gwen

that's ok, I tend to ramble on....Wink

talkingnonsense · 09/12/2013 19:48

I

talkingnonsense · 09/12/2013 19:48

It

talkingnonsense · 09/12/2013 19:48

It onl

talkingnonsense · 09/12/2013 19:51

It only takes one micheal in your class one year to mean you never write it automatically Michael again! And a Louis pronounced Lewis, and a Louis, a Louie, and a Lewis! Noone gets it wrong on purpose, but the more variety of spellings you deal with, the more likely you are to mess up.

talkingnonsense · 09/12/2013 19:51

O

talkingnonsense · 09/12/2013 19:51

Sorry, sorry! No idea what happened there!

Original poster
QueenofKelsingra · 09/12/2013 19:55

talkingnonsense I appreciate that, I really do (heck there is a girl in his class called Bexxii (not actually but a similar name with the xxii)) and I can forgive art work etc that has it scrawled on the back for identification. I'm only concerned when it is formal stuff - reports, his nativity programme and yes when he gets older certificates etc.

OP posts:
Mishmashofstyles · 09/12/2013 20:02

Amestris is nice but sounds too much like "a mistress" to catch on in English I guess.

MoreThanChristmasCrackers · 09/12/2013 20:13

It wouldn't bother me neither. OP, mountains and molehills springs to mind.
Admin staff are well known for these mistakes, it will probably follow your child through school,

FryOneFatManic · 09/12/2013 20:32

MoreThanChristmasCrackers it might not matter to you, but it certainly mattered to me, when I was the child with an unusual name frequently spelled wrong all those years ago.

It is nothing other than laziness to do this. The average person is perfectly able to use a name correctly, they simply can't be bothered, in my experience. And yes, I still have the odd person spelling things wrong even now, when I'm 45.

It's my name, and I don't agree that I should just accept that people can't spell it right, even after they've been told how to spell it. It is lazy and bad-mannered.

volestair · 09/12/2013 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChestnutsroastingintheFireligh · 09/12/2013 20:40

My database software won't type accents.

MoreThanChristmasCrackers · 09/12/2013 20:47

Fry

I'm not saying its acceptable just if you can't do anything about it because you were given an unusual name, you can get over it or let it bother you, it ain't gonna change anything, getting upset about it.

3bunnies · 09/12/2013 20:49

I think the issue for me is not so much that people make mistakes - we always get a few cards misspelt each year, even my sister can't spell it correctly. I don't worry about correcting everyone - the postie can still deliver things.

I do though have a problem when the people who are teaching my children are telling them that they are wrong when it is the teacher who has not correctly copied it from the class list. The school - particularly the infant school needs to be aware of this - and yes mistakes happen but once corrected it shouldn't reappear and the OP's son should be encouraged by the teachers to be putting in the accent as that is the correct spelling of his name.

FryOneFatManic · 09/12/2013 21:01

Why should I "get over it"? I expect people to be able to use my name correctly after they've been told, especially when they've been told more than once.

The world is getting smaller, and these "unusual" names are simply going to become more common. Time for people to start paying attention to other people's names.

In my town we have long had a sizeable Polish community, and now that is swelling with more Eastern Europeans. Non-English names are very common and the local schools have finally caught up. DD's school has even sent out short notes on how to spell/pronounce certain names this year.

temporarilyjerry · 09/12/2013 21:20

I don't think this is a case of Little England.

We lived in France and teachers pronounced DS2's name the French way. When I used the English pronunciation, I was met with Hmm.

jamdonut · 09/12/2013 21:26

I have a Mac beginning to my surname followed by a k,then the rest of the letters. the 'k' is so often capitalised when it shouldn't be - drives me insane!!! It doesn't matter how clear I write it on forms etc, somehow it always manages to come back printed with a ruddy capital in the middle!! It matters!! It makes the name totally different!! I wish I understood why databases automatically do this (as I'm told time and time again when I complain).Hmm

FryOneFatManic · 09/12/2013 21:32

jamdonut While accents, umlauts, etc, may be a database issue , as explained earlier, a capital letter in the middle of the name is not, it's entirely down to the person who input the name.

jamdonut · 09/12/2013 21:50

Sorry I didn't thoroughly read all of the posts.Blush

But why, then, does it happen so often to me?? I can't believe so many operators would stick a capital in the middle of a name when it quite clearly isn't written down that way! And I have been told that the computer automatically changes it, by several people,in different organisations, when I've tried to have it put right.

Pythonesque · 09/12/2013 21:51

Apostrophes and spaces in surnames are also being omitted and messed up by "modern" computer systems. And that applies to plenty of names that have been in Britain for centuries (eg L' / Le names)

lougle · 09/12/2013 22:03

My DD has a long name which shortens to an name ending 'lie'. When she first started school they wrote 'ly' on everything - photo, peg, tray, home-school book, the lot. I went in and said 'actually it's '...lie', could it be changed please? I really want her to learn to spell her shortened name correctly. It was done that day.

Bunbaker · 09/12/2013 22:11

"Apostrophes and spaces in surnames are also being omitted and messed up by "modern" computer systems. And that applies to plenty of names that have been in Britain for centuries (eg L' / Le names)"

Yes it's a pain. A lot of modern databases can't format apostrophes, quotation marks etc and when you upload onto the web you end up with something like this - $&"%^"£@

carabos · 09/12/2013 22:47

Fry has it spot on. I would be zero tolerant in OP's position. I have a very unusual name and judging by the comments I get about it, I'm thankful it's both easy to pronounce and easy to spell Wink.

ZingSweetPea · 09/12/2013 22:48

talking

maybe, but since DS3 started playgroup at 2 there has not been another Michael at playgroup/infants/juniors for 7 years!

I honestly don't think that people don't know how to spell it.
I think they just don't care, or just rubbish at spelling - which I can't forgive if it comes from a professional educator!

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