...to expect the school to spell my child's name correctly?

[QueenofKelsingra]

DS1 has a name that uses an accent on one of the letters. to be clear, this isn't some stupid attempt to make a name 'modern' or whatever, we are a bilingual family and DS1's name is from my husband's country. The accent is important, it changes the pronunciation of the name. His name is similar to an English version barring the accent and the change of one other letter.

everything that comes home is missing the accent, at least half has the wrong spelling completely (so the English spelling, not the foreign one).

I have spoken to the school twice and they just look at me like I'm making a fuss over nothing. AIBU to expect them to make the effort to get his name right?? i like to keep his school things - nativity programmes etc - in his memory box and it is annoying me that it all has his name spelt wrong!

So AIBU??

our surname is Dutch and has 2 words, the first word is spelt with lower case letter and the second word with a capital. Like van Hage.

The school secretary gets it right, and a few teachers. But every year all their books are labelled one of the following:

Van Hage
Vanhage
Van hage

I politely tell teachers and correct it on reading records/homework books. Some teachers get it straight away and some never get it.

I don't mind it being miss-spelt so much on informal stuff, but on a certificate? It isn't their name. It is basic courtesy and just unfair on the child, You are not important enough for me to spell you name right.

As a teacher myself I always made sure that I spelt names correctly,

I do understand the difficulty with accents on the computer, but as OP pointed out, you can add it with a black biro before photocopying.

At high school my PE teacher constantly spelt my name wrong, putting -er on the end instead of -a (as far as I know it's only ever spelt my way!) After correcting her many times to no avail I started calling her mrs Robinson instead of Robson! She soon learnt how to spell my name correctly!

samples, especially blood tests are one area when you really have to watch what the nurse scribbles on the sample and accompanying paper work!

if the spellings don't match you have to retake them!

I know from bitter experience. my name is a very common English name, but with a Hungarian spelling (one letter difference! )
I have to check every time because the English spelling comes to people naturally.

(as if it was Mari instead of Mary)

and ds has an english name with a double letter in the middle. There is only one way to spell it in English. In dutch it can be spelt completely differently (K instead of c and so on) but that is unheard of here.

Many, many people spell it with the second letter doubled instead of the third. Like spelling Kitty, Kiity.
What annoys me is that if you did that the first letter would have to be pronounced differently, but most people don't know their phonics well enough to notice.

Our school software doesn't allow for accents. I would expect anything handwritten or individually typed to have it included, but I'd forgive form letters printed off in bulk. I don't think I'd expect staff to go through and find one letter out of 500 to hand write an accent on. If I get the document in front of me (eg the admin staff print out the reports which I then proof and sign before posting) then I will manually change it. Anything as a one off (certificates, programs, labels, etc) it should absolutely be included.

The easiest way is to hit the 'Alt Gr' key while typing the letter - é Very easy!

Our surname is always spelt wrong by the school - it makes me very cross. I didn't realise at first, but they had it wrong on my daughter's name card in P1 - which they use to copy their own name from :-/ So she then was spelling her own name wrong.

MissDuke - I think that is one reason it annoys me. My kids ahve started to write their name in one of the wrong ways eg Van Hage. It upsets me that the school is not supporting them in spelling their own name correctly.

"The easiest way is to hit the 'Alt Gr' key while typing the letter - é Very easy!"

é. That worked. Thank you. So how do you get the grave e?

I don't think the online database we use recognises accents - its not a program run by the school but by an outside agency. I'm not 100% but I've never seen one on there. If I'm then writing home, I might miss an accent as it isn't on the system.

That said, I work with older children who will always point out their missing accents when I write their names on their folders - once I know I always make the effort to put them on.

My married surname has an apostrophe. It causes so many issues. People leave it out. People change the letter before it. Work made me change my email because a clients server couldn't accept the apostrophe.

I can't book flights online because of it. (Only once has this been problematic with a jobs worth check in staff who told me my name didn't match my passport so I couldn't fly) questioned how people had done it before. Apparently no one had ever flown with an O'/A' surname...?

My DC also has a name which sounds exactly like an English name but is from another language and spelt one letter differently. It's not this but think Spanish Ana not English Anna. Their heritage is not 100% English hence the name reflecting this.

It's a 50/50 toss up which version we get on almost any paperwork from school. Somehow I think their brains just default to the familiar English spelling.

You may well find that your DS begins to make the point himself. DCs peg was labelled wrong on their first day, I was wondering whether to make a fuss or if they would even notice, they marched up and pointed it out to the teacher

Ever seen the Goodness Gracious Me 'Jonathan' sketch? People cope with all sorts of odd spellings and pronunciation without realising it, it's the unfamiliar that does for them. I cut people a lot of slack with DCs name, but do expect them to broaden their minds and TRY to remember it!

I took my husband's name when I married him to get rid of the umlaut in it - I know have an English last name which people half the time mispronounce. My first name, whilst unusual over here is 4 simple standard letters. People keep getting it wrong. Even when they reply to emails from me, where my name is correctly. Incredibly rude.

YANBU my DD name is ends in ie but they would always write ee/ey and it was the complete opposite for her/my very uncommon last name, which ended in ee but they would write ie/ee. They've had to re-print school photos many times for us. My DH best mate can't even spell it properly.

To be fair to the office staff the School information management system SIMs the main school computer is not word based and it is impossible to put accents into it. This will result in the name being wrong on the register and the staff only seeing that record and possibly not knowing the correct spelling.

I have a surname that people often add and "in" into. Last week I was out when a parcel arrived and I had to have it redelivered to the local post office with the wrong name on the card. Fortunately they know me at the post office and let me have the parcel.

Work made me change my email because a clients server couldn't accept the apostrophe.

That's outrageous. The standard for doing this is 31 years old, section 3.4.1.

I can't book flights online because of it.

Incompetent software. But see (and if necessary ask a geek to explain) this cartoon, which shows why websites are nervous about quotes.

In these cases the parents haven't expected that, they've adapted the names to forms that use letters in the English language.

No they have not. The spellings have been converted to the Roman Alphabet, a way of transcribing other writing systems in to a familiar form.

My name has an accent - a circumflex.

It's missed in 99% of cases - except by me.

TBH I have never really got upset about it. I know how to spell my name properly as do my family and life feels far too short to make a fuss about it.

Yes it's important in the sense it totally changes the pronunciation but as long as people actually say my name properly I'm fine.

I had a jasmine in my boarding house once who had 2 Zs and 2Ns in it amongst other letters. She preferred Jasmin when writing messages on the big board wtcand we had to remember to add all the other letters on reports. Accents are tricky but I bet you could google how to do them if you cared enough

Sims does make accents and apostrophes, you just need to know how to do it. The IT support for SIMS is a huge annual cost of the licence. Use it and don't give up.

YANBU if they are actually spelling the name wrong, but if it is just the missing accent then YABU.
lots of names from the British Isles have accents, eg from Ireland or Wales, are teachers supposed to remember them all, as well as all the 'foreign' ones?

Incompetent software

I have trouble with the online passport form as it exchanges my surname from one English word into another. I have pointed it out to them on several occasions but it doesn't seem to bother them.

lots of names from the British Isles have accents, eg from Ireland or Wales, are teachers supposed to remember them all, as well as all the 'foreign' ones?

Um... yes. If they can remember how to spell