If you allow your young DC to become morbidly obese then it should be treated the same as if you'd starved them.

[ItsOkayItsJustMyBreath]

This link is really upsetting. I hate seeing young children that are incredibly overweight. It is, for me, the same as seeing children that have been underfed. When children are young they do not get to choose what they eat, they are given their food by their parents.

I understand that as children get older then controlling what they eat when not under your supervision is impossible but at this age it is just appalling.

AIBU?

Yes, it is as conscious a decision as starving a child Heartbrokenmum, it may not come from the same intention but the results are just as bad. I am not being melodramatic, how and why do you think children become morbidly obese?

The health impacts and psychological issues that result from this over/ mis-feeding are something that needs to be addressed.

how and why do you think children become morbidly obese

I certainly don't think it comes from an intention to harm/kill the children, which is the blatant intention with starvation. I think it comes from a lack of education regarding healthy eating and exercise. And probably a feeling that food = treats = love.

I think it's wrong to equate this with people who intentionally starve their children knowing full well it will probably kill them. Those people literally couldn't give a shit about their child dying (only about being caught and punished appropriately), whereas the parents of obese children would probably be mortified and very upset to think that people thought they were being abusive.

Starvation is generally a calculated and cruel act, carried out with the intention to harm. Feeding a child bad food/too much food is generally an act of ignorance. Not the same. Not at all.

If your child weighed 3 stone more than was healthy for them, would you for one moment decide that giving them a chocolate treat, a packet of crisps for breakfast, fast food for dinner most nights, was for the best? If you did give them these things then you are deliberately harming them.

As I said, the intention may be different but that is almost irrelevant when you look at the harm caused.

No, I can't think of a happy outcome for her either Sunshine. It is very upsetting.

I don't know why some of you keep insisting that starvation is a cruel, deliberate act.

I should imagine 99% of starvation cases involve parents who are too off their faces to even remember they have a kid, let alone that that kid needs feeding.

AFAIK Daniel Pelka and Khyra Ishaq were newsworthy because they were the exception, rather than the rule.

I very much doubt social services turned up one day and said 'lordy you have an immensely fat child , we are taking her away now' . I would expect that the parents would have been given the opportunity to improve their daughters life and chose for whatever reason not to take it .

The child should not be removed, unless other issues are going on, but the family should have a lot of support to make signifcant lifestyle changes.

Or the parents were unable to take the opportunities for whatever reasons .

That article said that In Wales 35% of children are obese....tell me, do you really thing that there are places for that many children in care? Maybe we should open camps for the fat kids and herd them in there....NOT

I find this thread disturbing....kids are taught about healthy eating at school, but as with smoking, I think it's going to be a generational thing, maybe the next generation will be healthier with their kids, but certainly taking all fat kids into care is a stupid idea.

I am not sure of the source but aren't animals getting heavier too?

perhaps there's some environmental trigger that affects some people and not others.

I agree that overfeeding a child to this level is a different dynamic to starving a child.

Starvation actually requires denying a child food when its crying , begging to be fed even babies do this, until of course its dying and to weak to protest and the effects of negelct /failure to thrive are very hard often impossible to reverse because because of the huge amount of damamge done to the brain.

I suspect a lot of overfeeding starts off as convenience and then spirals.

Would we treat those who underfeed their children the same, without actually, literally starving them?

Two minds - I think in both scenarios, the family needs support.

personal experiences of children with leptin deficiency
The last thing these families need is the judgement of ignorance

I admit to silently judging when I see overweight children.

An overweight young girl at dd's school was eating a large packet of crisps. When she finished these her mother who is obese said "Shall we buy fish and chips on the way home?"

I was of the impression that it was the norm for them to eat this regularly as oppose to a home cooked meal.

I wondered if the girl has ever been offered fruit or vegetables.

I admit to silently judging when I see overweight children.

An overweight young girl at dd's school was eating a large packet of crisps. When she finished these her mother who is obese said "Shall we buy fish and chips on the way home?"

I was of the impression that it was the norm for them to eat this regularly as oppose to a home cooked meal.

I wondered if the girl has ever been offered fruit or vegetables.

Double post

Bumblequeen triple posting is fat and greedy and I judge you

Snog

Any stats for how common leptin deficiency is then?

Haven't read all of this but already annoyed at the " denying opportunity to exercise" comments. Ds is 11 and overweight. He hates all sports with a passion, is poorly coordi ated and scared of being in large groups of sporty kids. We have tried everything, every activity from scouts, football,martial arts,dance... He only just learned to ride a bike this summer.
What do you want us to do. Make him run by jogging alongside him with a whip snapping at his heels shouting *run, you fat bastard!"
He won't jpoin any sort of sports club, is self conscious about his like of sporting prowess and his size. I cook mostly from scratch and we talk about being healthy, rather than being thin but it isn't easy.we also try and teach him about acceptance of all people regardless of shape, size,colour or creed so where does he fit in? The chubby kid who hates sport but is top of his class in every academic subject?

dem

Overweight is not the same as obese. And is vastly different to morbidly obese.

Pretty sure that's been made clear throughout the thread.

I've read through all 6 pages with interest and feel that I can contribute some personal experience here.
You see I over fed DS for some time as a weaning baby. No excuses unless you're willing to accept ignorance and fear. Ignorance because he was my first child and fear because he was a tiny, tiny newborn. Scrawny in fact and could fit into my 2 cupped hands. As it turned out he was quite happy to make up for that and followed the centile chart until we started to wean him and he took to food like a duck to water. We had no trouble bonding at all and he was a mischievous, fun baby. I'm a very healthy weight myself as was DH at the time, we are both educated from MC families. But something was missing in my ability to see that the amount I gave him to eat plus his milk wasn't filling him into a healthy chubby baby, it was making him fat. As in off the scale fat. It took my MIL and my Mum contacting the HV to get her to basically intervene to make me see it. He basically went on a diet at 11 months old.
Fortunately it had a happy ending. DS is sporty, happy and growing upwards like a weed. During practice a couple of weeks ago his team mate called him a 'lanky streak of piss' which was rather insulting but gives you an idea of what he looks like now.
The lesson was hard learnt, his sisters haven't had the same problem and fortunately he has a pretty healthy relationship with food for a 13 year old.
You can judge or call me, nobody can judge in the way that I judge myself for it.
My point in sharing is that it's very easy to sit in judgement and make a blanket statement or assumption about every parent, but life isn't black and white. Most families in this situation need support, not flaming.