If you allow your young DC to become morbidly obese then it should be treated the same as if you'd starved them.

[ItsOkayItsJustMyBreath]

This link is really upsetting. I hate seeing young children that are incredibly overweight. It is, for me, the same as seeing children that have been underfed. When children are young they do not get to choose what they eat, they are given their food by their parents.

I understand that as children get older then controlling what they eat when not under your supervision is impossible but at this age it is just appalling.

AIBU?

it is not fair on those children

It's a difficult one.

Like you said, it is a form of abuse - but I wouldn't put it in the same frame as starving a child.

Starving is borne from cruelty, whereas overfeeding is usually ignorance - the parents are generally obese too in these situations.

I do think that there is an overstatement of "healthy eating" rammed down our throats and people are petrified of fat etc now which is also wrong.

I do think it is right that there should be as much attention/intervention with significantly obese children as there is with neglected & starved children.

YANBU.

It's neglect, borne out of ignorance, laziness and/or denial.

Easier to shove a packet of crisps at your child to eat on their way to school than to get up 10 minutes earlier and make sure they have a proper healthy breakfast.

How many threads get started on here where someone is told by a health professional that their child is overweight, and the majority response is usually "ignore them, ignore the BMI charts, ignore the professional advice".

We're so used to seeing overweight people (children) in this country now, we've almost forgotten what a healthy weight child looks like.

Who's said anything about looking at size and judging though Tee? I judge the parents who whack family sized treats into the hands of small children regardless of size.

I don't look at a child and try to establish medical conditions or diet.

Overfeeding a child and not giving a decent diet is neglectful, that was the point of the OP. Based on a case where SS got involved. No one suggested you can guess medical conditions, lack of or diet by looking.

From the OP, KungFu: "I hate seeing young children that are incredibly overweight."

So she hates seeing it before she has any idea why it is.

I agree, if you see a child, day after day, with a bag of crisps and a bottle of coke on the way to school, and they are obese, judge all you want.

But if you are just looking at the child, with no evidence of what they eat, and saying 'My god, how fat, it's abuse!!' you're doing the child and the parent a disservice.

Whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty?

I apologise Tee, you're right. I think I projected myself onto the OP there.

I just wanted to express that although I think bad diet is neglectful I'm not looking at children and judging their size and parents.

Easy to do KungFu. I think we all do it.

I agree, if you see a child, day after day, with a bag of crisps and a bottle of coke on the way to school, and they are obese, judge all you want.

I judge then even if they're not obese.
Breakfast of choice round here is the 35p energy drink with crisps/chocolate bar.
Then the school upset my ASD DS telling him full fat milk was unhealthy without factoring in it's a great source of fat and other good stuff as part of a healthy diet, plus it tastes better so he drinks more of it.

I don't if they're not fat, Kung because sometimes? That's all my possibly ASD son will eat for breakfast and I think some calories before school is better than none. But he's so thin if you turn him sideways, he disappears.

So, again, you don't know what issues a child might have.

::awaits diagnosis::

Ah, see my ASD child has the same thing EVERY day. We had scrambled egg this morning, he had some, after his weetabix... Hobbit with his two breakfasts....

I am a bad judgypants after all. I even judge the shopkeeper who sells the red bull rip off to 6 year olds.

Yanbu Op.

I was that child: at ten I weighed 10 stone, roughly twice what I should have weighed for my age.
I averaged 12 stone as a teenager, and at 17 when at uni weighed 13 stone, about 5 stone more than my peers. Today in my thirties I weigh 14 and a half stone after a course of steroids, and am finding it nearly impossible to shift. I cant ever imagine being thin, because last time I was a normal weight I was about six.
Both my parents were morbidly obese, my sisters are older than me and have had some weight problems but not as severe as my own.

I think it should be treated as abuse, simply so something gets done. I was left, my parents were left, nothing was done, and I still suffer now as an adult.

The psychological harm done to overweight children can't be overestimated, I literally do not feel worthy of the same rights as the rest of the human race because I am fat and always have been. When I see a fat child, I am consumed by pity because I know the bullying they suffer from every day, when they are not responsible for their condition.

I agree that it is an issue that should be tackled with more involvement and education for the parents involved. Health professionals and enducation department really need to help the families of morbidly overweight children. If it is a medical issue or byproduct of medication such as steroids then fine (hopefully that one day that can be counteracted), but if it comes down to lack of exercise and poorly understood diet then the parents and the family as a whole should have a care plan in place with things as such as counselling, nutrition training, support groups etc. last stance would be the children taken into care, uncomfortable as that feels.

Not so long ago we had a family living near that were enormous , the youngest was 7ys and 13 stone! Poor child! Both Kids where teased badly and the mother did nothing. The mother was in my opinion depressed and was a troubled woman, she really could have done with some guidance and help. The cycle if she was consciously aware could have been broken, but the eldest child (teen) was heading mentally, emotionally and physically in the same direction as the mother. A very sad family all round.

Ps, more understanding as a whole I feel is needed for issues such as these, the real issue is people's unhappiness, why are there so many un happy people about? The answer to that question is the reason to many of these cycles of behaviour. In many cases child obesity is born from something not being quite right, within the person or the care provider, the family and on a wider scale society. Why do we have so many of these problems? What can we do about raising peoples/societies quality of life?

Anyway steps away from soap box and gets on with supper.

I think we have to be very careful before we start judging. if this girl does in fact have Prader-Willi syndrome then taking her into care will do nothing to help her - she and her family will need highly specialised support to manage the condition. It is lifelong and will never go away. It's easy to shout 'abuse' without having all the facts.

And of course there are parents who feed their kids crap at all hours, I've seen them myself. Let's just not make assumptions.

My DS really podges up every so often then shoots up and gets his cheek dimples back. It's like he has to grow out before he can grow up. I used to panic and feel 'judged' which is fairly unhelpful.
I think the case you link to is awful but I think more info is needed before I dismiss the parents as neglectful and abusive.

Worth remembering that we don't know it all and there, but for the grace of god, go I.

In other words, aren't your snug judgey pants digging into your muffin top today!!

they are so digging in kwitter

I just think it is unfair on children for parents to overfeed them if an adult gets over weight that is their choice (for want of a better word) a child doesn't ask to get fat , tbf I work with younger children and they are all usual toddler weight , it seems to be older children that are over weight maybe because they have their own money and can buy crisps or whatever or you do get parents who just let them eat what they like,

Once again, I am not judging slightly overweight children. We all know that children don't follow the centile charts and have growth spurts bith outwards and upwards!

I am not judging those that have medical conditions such as Prada-Willi syndrome (1 in 15,000) or those on steroids etc.

However, these medical conditions are rare. Most children that are morbidly obese are so due to poor diet and lack of exercise. I think that due to the rareness of exceptions it is fair to make inner assumptions. It is not this judging I am questioning, it is the action taken by those in power, or rather the lack of action taken that I am appalled by.

Really, it doesn't matter what the reasons are when it comes to over or underfeeding your child. Your child will suffer as a result.

It just makes me really sad, I cannot get my head round children having crisps for breakfast just because it is more convenient for a parent than bother to give them cereal or a slice of toast. Even a banana would be better.

*both, not bith dammit.

I think it's horrible that this story made it to the media, especially as they think there is a chance she has a PW syndrome.

Yes sometimes there are health reasons but mostly not. I also judge thin people who eat crap. I think any child of any size being fed lots of crap is being set up for lots of future health issues. Thin doesn't necessarily mean healthy in my eyes.

I doubt the SS would have gained a court order to remove the child just on the child's weight. There would have been many of step taken first before this.

To have a child in care cost money, and the council are not going to waste precious funds in removing a child that is safe at home.

I agree it IS abuse and should be treated the same as child neglect.

Love means damaging your child's health and shortening their lives? Really?

Not to mention the effect on their self-esteem as adults......the damage is done by then and they will struggle with their weight poss for the rest of their (shortened) lives.