If you allow your young DC to become morbidly obese then it should be treated the same as if you'd starved them.

[ItsOkayItsJustMyBreath]

This link is really upsetting. I hate seeing young children that are incredibly overweight. It is, for me, the same as seeing children that have been underfed. When children are young they do not get to choose what they eat, they are given their food by their parents.

I understand that as children get older then controlling what they eat when not under your supervision is impossible but at this age it is just appalling.

AIBU?

Taking them into care will damage their self esteem far more than being fat!

You can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink.
Some kids just WONT eat good stuff.

Tell me...who can afford to put meals on the table and then in the bin because they are not eaten?

And before any of you judge ME...... You have no idea of the path I've walked.

Some serious judging going on on here...there but for the grace of God....

You should be ashamed of yourselves

No, children are not overfed out of love.

Perhaps poor education, perhaps lazy food choices, perhaps they have a condition, but if your child doesn't fit standard clothes for their age (unless too tall etc - ie height is right but waist is tight) then should be obvious. So yes, I agree unless due to medical condition eg steriods, its neglect.

There is enough information out there. People absolutely cannot say "I didn't know this food and doing no exercise was bad".

The problem, whatever it is, is not that. It is more complex.

Something that I find quite shocking is that many obese children are also malnourished, that suggests that most are not just over eating but actually they are eating completely useless food, they are not getting nutrients that are needed, they may as well be eating cardboard. That will have a massive impact on their lives, not just when they are older but now as it will compromise many systems, (immune, endocrine, etc).

The problem is that 'we' (as in people/humans) get very defensive when 'challenged' (advised or help offered) and ego defences get played out rather than just dealing with something in a matter of fact way. We all have neuroses of one nature or another that's what makes us unique, 'we' can accept that and try to make unconscious drives conscious, maybe if people could do this in a supportive environment then issues of childhood obesity would decline.

"Taking them into care will damage their self esteem far more than being fat!"

I'm sure the professionals involved in the child's care will be aware of the impact being in the care system can have on a child.

I've scrolled up but I can't seem to see who mentioned this above, but a pp asked a very interesting question about happiness, the gist was why are so many people unhappy and self medicating, or blase about their own health and welfare. This does seem to be a factor in many of these problems of overabundance. I don't know about this case in particular.

It deserves analysis, imo.

My nephew is very obese. He is a bright boy, and I suspect, on the autistic spectrum. My sister loves him dearly. But to be honest, she is a bit of lazy arse and will do anything for a quiet life. He has major melt downs if he doesn't get his own way. In her defence she has had health issues and an abusive ex to contend with as well.
I have been absolutely shocked though, at how much rubbish my nephew can eat; bags of muffins and doughnuts in one go, while my kids look on in shock.
Thing is, my nephew is such an unhappy kid. He really, really needs some sort of intervention in his life.

"I'm sure the professionals involved in the child's care will be aware of the impact being in the care system can have on a child" - that being so why weren't the relevant medical professionals involved PRIOR to the care order being issued? Smacks of sloppy procedural goings on, and certainly isn't best practice.

Statistically children in care DO NOT have great outcomes. Ripping a child as young as five away from the only home and family she's ever known is going to have a devastating impact on her long term mental health. Not good if the cause of her overeating has been poor-self esteem/school bullying/low confidence. She'll just starve herself till she's allowed back home and then the now entrenched cycle will rinse and repeat for life.

If they cba to consult the medics before taking this drastic step they are unlikely to call in cahms to deal with the fall out afterwards. I just hope and pray her foster carers are a/ allowed to be long term, rather than her be shunted every other month to a new area/home as happens to so many looked after kids b/ seriously experienced both at dealing with traumatised children and advocating on their behalf.

What do you suggest then misswishy.

This child is eating him/herself into an early grave.

I'm amazed by the insider knowledge here. No medical intervention or support, they as good as snatched that child from the street! Unless you have this child's case file you don't know what steps were taken to help. Not to mention maybe her parents should have went to go and asked for diet help, exercise advise etc.

Intervention has bad outcomes.
But why didn't they intervene earlier?
All in the same post.

Damned if the do, damned if they don't. Who'd be a social worker.

10 stone ffs. I'm 30 and I'm under that.

I expect mn to be a bit more supportive than judgy threads like this, that tar everyone with the same brush.

How is this thread supporting her parents? Hmmm....its not!

Are you on glue?

Who has been tarred with the same brush? You're just throwing out random phrases, don't judge me, horse to water, tar everyone with same brush. Several posters have given insight into eating issues in children and adults, varied reasons.

What should haven been done?

There is something very wrong about children with no underlying medical issues, whose diet is entirely under the control of their parents/carers, being significantly overweight or obese.

The intention may not be abusive, but the outcome is much the same.

I'm in Australia, and am bound to mandatory reporting of possible abuse, and obesity comes under that heading.

Do you think it's done in a sensible way echt? At what point is it reported? (Sorry I'm intrigued as to how this would be applied given so many variables)

I think this is a tricky one.

As a former childcare lawyer, I can't see how placing this child in care will turn around its fortunes! Children in the care system have the worst outcomes of all DC living in the UK.

That said, allowing a DC to get that big makes me uncomfortable. Someone needed to intervene. Perhaps its already been tried asnd failed?

I suspect the parents may be fat and may have issues around food. Families in that sitiation have little hope of sorting this out. Unpicking their relationship with food is a long hard road. And poverty also plays a part; crap food is cheap and filling.

SofaKing

Snap for almost all of that, even the same weights at the same ages.

I also remember being force fed.
I wasn't allowed outside after dark, not even in my own garden so no playing out.

When I was 12-13 I was obviously too old to be pinned down and have food put in my mouth, but I was also scared if I didn't clear my plate.

The only control I had was to get off school dinners, make my own lunch and throw it away, go hungry all day.

It is abuse.

Ok, this is a provocative subject and many people have very black and white theories and opinions.

Of course it CAN be abuse to allow a child to be obese. It CAN be ignorance. Not enough information in this case to pass judgement really. Has the mother been taught to cook healthy meals? Has the child got an underlying medical issue? HOW has this child got to this stage? I was 10 stone the week before giving birth to my eldest child so it doesn't sit well with me at all.

However, taking a child into care is not necessarily the answer. Perhaps temporarily sending the child to a residential style hospital (in a similar way to anorexics being in hospital to put weight on) and monitoring the way in which the parents feed her would have a better outcome.

It's changing lifestyle choices which is hard work. And won't be done overnight. Taking a child away from its parents though is not the way to do that.

But being so overweight would also probably do damage psychologically. Unfortunately by the time it got to this stage the damage was probably already done in that sense.

It would be interesting to know what the parents had done to attempt to tackle to problem. At that size there is no way they wouldn't have known it was a massive issue yet did they seek help? Where they offered help?

YABU

Starving a child is obvious, a child could become over weight by a parent who just needs educating in diet and nutrition.
Starving a child is a conscious decision and sick, over feeding is more than likely a mistake.