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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that if you can't control your children, you shouldn't come to hotels?

325 replies

HomeIsWhereTheGinIs · 08/12/2013 11:48

DH and I are currently staying at a very nice boutique hotel in the countryside. It's been a hell of a busy year and so the idea was to treat ourselves to a couple of days somewhere luxurious and to do lots of reading and sleeping. However, we're staying at a place that's converted old outbuildings into suites, two suites to a building. And the family next door have the two noisiest children on the face of the planet.

Yesterday morning we were working up by the children shrieking to one another and then for their mother (it appeared she'd pushed them out into the communal stairwell to play). A phone complaint later to reception and the noise ceased (and they glared at us every time they passed us in the hotel). But damage done, we were already awake (and given that I am exhausted all the time from this pregnancy, it was awful not being able to go back to sleep). Yesterday evening, exactly the same thing. Screaming children sent to "play" on the stairs and landing outside our room where they screamed, ran around and then got into an actual fight (complete with shouted insults and wails for a parent). It happened again this morning at 7am (there goes our lie-in) and this time the call to reception had no effect.

I'm really cross that I haven't been able to have a lie-in because of their lazy parenting. I remember going to hotels with my family when I was small and my mother coming down on me very hard when I was too loud and in danger of disturbing the other guests. They're the only children at the hotel and their running and screaming in the library yesterday was attracting frowns from every other couple there. AIBU to hate the parents of the noisy brats for being so selfish and entitled? My feeling is that when you have kids, you don't get to just ignore behaviour that might be ruining an experience for other people.

OP posts:
thebellsofsaintclements · 08/12/2013 21:31

I do feel for you OP and the parents were inconsiderate in this instance. HOWEVER, I'm sure in a few years' time you will start to understand how silly your comments re 'controlling' one's children are.

You say you will act to curb tantrums, but the only way to do that ultimately is to never give in to them, which means you might one day find yourself on a packed train/restaurant with strangers tutting at you about not being able to control your child. You will know that you're doing the right thing, but believe me other people around won't be praising your parenting skills! Grin

Pixel · 08/12/2013 21:38

I'm getting really cross on the OP's behalf reading this. She's entitled to be annoyed at having a well-earned relaxing break ruined by noisy brats. It's not because she's 'over-sensitive', or 'doesn't understand what it's like to have children', it's because the other people are selfish and rude!
All this talk of 'tantrumming' children, or screaming babies is completely irrelevant because the children in question are clearly old enough to be left to their own devices and should be long past tantrums. The only reason they are loud and annoying is because they've never been taught to have any consideration for others by their useless parents. It has probably never even crossed any of their tiny minds that they are not the only ones in the hotel and that the corridor is not actually a playground.

Bogeyface · 08/12/2013 21:40

Arf at I'll never let my kids behave like that and as for the monsters comment. Wow. Just wow.

Why are you so down on the OP for her saying that? I never let my kids behave like that, so they dont. Its not hard FFS! Assuming no SEN etc then it really isnt difficult to teach children to know how to behave in certain situations. My can create merry hell at times, but they know that sometimes they have to suck it up. We actually have "at home rules" and "out rules", they have been known to ask "is this "out rules" Mummy?" when we were going to friends where it could feasibly be either. I tend to say "Its "out rules" unless I tell you otherwise!"

If you think the OP will never be able to control her childrens behaviour and will just have to accept that they will behave like the children in her first post, I suspect your issue is closer to home. You may want to stop projecting and consider why you feel that is such an impossible dream.

Misspixietrix · 08/12/2013 21:45

Oh right. I'm down on her because I'm disagreeing again? Because we've ALL said that at some point. We've ALL discovered its rather hard to do 'control' the 'Monsters' as OP puts them.

Misspixietrix · 08/12/2013 21:47

And I know it "isn't hard ffs!".

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 08/12/2013 21:47

Spot on bogey and pixel

Not sure why this argument is still going on.

HappyCliffmas · 08/12/2013 21:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pixel · 08/12/2013 21:47

Too right Bogeyface. I don't think people should be judging the OP by their own lax standards. Why assume that OP will not be able to teach her dcs manners just because other people are unable to do so with theirs? At least she intends to try, it seems that too many people have given up.

monicalewinski · 08/12/2013 21:49

YY Bogey, mine can be like savages at home sometimes, but they are amazing when we are out - they know the rules and have their boundaries.

(I have been called Victorian mum by one of my friends though!)

Misspixietrix · 08/12/2013 21:49

"You might want to stop projecting". Seriously. What the hell? There is no issue closer to home! Dear god I decided to disagree with someone on AIBU! How very dare I? For the gazillionth time I've never ONCE said that the Parents are in the right so keep your silly PAs to yourself.

HappyCliffmas · 08/12/2013 21:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Misspixietrix · 08/12/2013 21:50

Yeh Pixel becaue obviously none of the other Parents Try do they?

foreverondiet · 08/12/2013 21:51

I agree. I would take iPad and headphones etc with and tell my children no noise before 9am. Very selfish making a noise in public space.

Misspixietrix · 08/12/2013 21:52

HappyCliffmas please point me to ANYWHERE on this thread where ANYONE has insinuated that.

Only1scoop · 08/12/2013 21:52

Yanbu Op and sorry to hear you didn't get the restful break you hoped for Hmm

Pixel · 08/12/2013 21:55

Not if they are just shrugging their shoulders and saying 'children will be children' at the suggestion of a bit of discipline, no, then obviously they are not 'trying' at all.

YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 08/12/2013 21:56

Yes Monica we can. I admit my then 15 month old was clapping and singing and shouting to her brother when he was trying to say his lines. Other people found it cute, some found it annoying, I found it intensely embarrassing. I managed to shush her with some snacks and a drink but occasionally she still got carried away and did more noisy singing. I kept apologising but was penned in and tryingvto leave would have caused dd to either have a tantrum or just create another son g and dance. The time crept by so slowly and those 45 minutes were the longest of my life. On the way out I overheard a heavily pregnant woman sniping about me and dd and how her ds never behaved so noisily. Rather than kick-off (lets face it I'm holding my hands up here, she was noisy but by no means the only one) I apologised profusely and she red facedly told me not to worry about it. (No matter what the circumstances it is always fun to catch someone bitching about you when they have nowhere to go with it :o) Anyway guess whose twins were creating a big fuss when watching their brothers harvest festival play a few weeks back? My first two kids were bloody angels and behaved beautifully everywhere. When pg with dd2 I never imagined i was cooking up one of those kids I rolled my eyes about when my first two were sat quietly while other kids ran around pissing everyone off. Shes not too bad now shes in reception but she definitely was sent to me to embarrass me into not producing anymore.

Misspixietrix · 08/12/2013 21:59

Not ALL parents are like that Pixel. The OP got slack for her folowing comments not for her original one.

Madeyemoodysmum · 08/12/2013 22:11

Earplugs for the sleepers and colouring books and DVD players and tablets for the parents of travelling kids, if mine were bored in a hotel id take them for a run in the woods or to a nearby attraction, there are plenty of things to do all over the uk

My husband would go crazy if our kids were noisy.

Sounds lie these paarents were selfish kicking there kids out in corridors to play.

YANBU

Coldlightofday · 08/12/2013 22:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pixel · 08/12/2013 22:21

No one said they were all like that. This thread is about being annoyed with people who are like that. There are posters defending the selfish hotel people who obviously think it's acceptable behaviour because you know, all kids behave atrociously and there's nothing a parent can do about it, and good intentions are just naivety Hmm.

Mim78 · 08/12/2013 22:24

Sounds like the problem was that the parents chucked them out of the room so that they could have a lie-in! That is incredibly inconsiderate as they were bound to them disturb others. They should have got up with them and supervised them, or done something to keep them quiet-ish in the room until breakfast time (like put the telly on).

Misspixietrix · 08/12/2013 22:25

No they aren't. No one in this thread is defending the Hotel. In fact the only person that did was the OP. Who said they did all they could have physically done. Good intentions aren't naivety, deluded ones that you're child is never going to act up ARE.

monicalewinski · 08/12/2013 22:27

Yourmanobra Grin

I actually don't give a stuff about the school performances tbh, other than the annoying parents who stand in my way and hold their bloody ipads up in the air so I have to watch through an ipad too. grrr.

Misspixietrix · 08/12/2013 22:27

Mim78 I agree. Although some posters appear to be on A different page.