To think that if you can't control your children, you shouldn't come to hotels?

[HomeIsWhereTheGinIs]

DH and I are currently staying at a very nice boutique hotel in the countryside. It's been a hell of a busy year and so the idea was to treat ourselves to a couple of days somewhere luxurious and to do lots of reading and sleeping. However, we're staying at a place that's converted old outbuildings into suites, two suites to a building. And the family next door have the two noisiest children on the face of the planet.

Yesterday morning we were working up by the children shrieking to one another and then for their mother (it appeared she'd pushed them out into the communal stairwell to play). A phone complaint later to reception and the noise ceased (and they glared at us every time they passed us in the hotel). But damage done, we were already awake (and given that I am exhausted all the time from this pregnancy, it was awful not being able to go back to sleep). Yesterday evening, exactly the same thing. Screaming children sent to "play" on the stairs and landing outside our room where they screamed, ran around and then got into an actual fight (complete with shouted insults and wails for a parent). It happened again this morning at 7am (there goes our lie-in) and this time the call to reception had no effect.

I'm really cross that I haven't been able to have a lie-in because of their lazy parenting. I remember going to hotels with my family when I was small and my mother coming down on me very hard when I was too loud and in danger of disturbing the other guests. They're the only children at the hotel and their running and screaming in the library yesterday was attracting frowns from every other couple there. AIBU to hate the parents of the noisy brats for being so selfish and entitled? My feeling is that when you have kids, you don't get to just ignore behaviour that might be ruining an experience for other people.

OFGS- children shoved out into the corridor to play while their parents get jiggy/sleep are noisy brats.

I'm astounded by the amount of people who simply don't give a fuck about anybody else. Truly.

OddFodd no one has said they weren't.

I think hotels are a pretty rubbish option when travelling with DC personally. I'd rather book a nice self catering place where you have more room for them to do their thing without disturbing others.

Also, I never personally find staying in a hotel very relaxing as I wake up as soon as other guests start opening and closing room doors, running showers etc.

I don't think you have to be delicate (for any reason), to not want to be woken up much earlier than you'd like, on a special weekend away, by someone else's children making a racket because their parents don't appear to see it as their responsibility to keep their children reasonably quiet!

Monkeyface - are you saying it is OK for parents to let their children play noisily outside other guests' rooms? Would you let your children do this?

Pixie i'm sorry that expressing my intention to TRY to limit irritating behaviour From my future child has bothered you so much. Clearly my audacity at having an opinion on how i am going to try to raise a child not to terrorise other people is breathtaking given that I am not yet a mother! The nerve!

I don't know if the noise continuing this morning after the manager called them was revenge (it hadn't occurred to me!) but it was certainly irritating, whatever caused it. I will admit I'm staggered at a couple of posters that persist in insinuating that the fact that I don't have children yet as pertinent. I have to say, if be just as cross if I wasn't pregnant. Manners are manners and inconveniencing people in any way shows a severe lack of them. And I actually feel quite sorry for the hotel staff. I can see that this puts them in an impossible position.

That said, other than that it's been a marvellous weekend. So you see, lax parents, you didn't break us! And we get the last laugh - we just had to grit our teeth and bear it for two nights. You have to take your children home and live with the monsters you've created them!

Like I said before, people are awfully defensive at the OP voicing that she'd try to curb tantrums. Why is that I wonder? I suspect there's a lot of personal projection going on.

Not particularly, cold. It was directed at anyone who's having a pop at the OP for a couple of misjudged comments when she was answering challenges. Her responses actually have fuck all to do with what she actually asked in the OP and yet people are using those as an excuse to rail against her.

It's akin to the level of pedantry on MN where people refuse to acknowledge the OP may have had a point because of a misplaced apostrophe in their fifth post.

I think AIBU has become a bit of a blood sport tbh. It's pretty unedifying.

Hmm. Slightly fraught in my post above re future child. Apologies. I'm just a but taken aback at the ferocity with which a small sideline of the post has been seized upon and misquoted.

But for the record I can categorically say I will never let my children behave like that. So there.

When I was pregnant we went out for lunch with my parents. At a nearby table a girl about 2-3 was having an almighty tantrum which went on and on and on. Parents sat there doing sod all about it - presumably immune to the racket. Got so bad that we ended up moving to another part of the pub - thankfully with a door in between us and the racket.

I remember telling people this story and getting the funny looks and the ooh wait until your DC arrives ho ho, but I can assure you that our DS has never kicked up a storm in a restaurant. When he was younger he could get a little fussy if we had to wait for a long time, and in those circumstances I would just take him out for a walk until the food was likely to arrive. That's what one does when you want to go out with a young DC without inconveniencing others.

As a result I have little patience with other peoples children disrupting things. Yes there are circumstances beyond a parent or carers control, but a weekend in a posh hotel doesn't seem to be one of them.

I just can't believe the people who are pointing out that adult only hotels are available. As if we didn't know that already.
For crying out loud, people enjoy the presence of children, just not children who take over, unchecked, and ruin the whole experience for everyone in close proximity.

Not adding SN to the equation, but OP please be assured that it's perfectly possible to have children and take them anywhere within reason and for everyone to have a really good time, including everyone around you.

We've not been over attentive or full on parents, but we are aware of the wider situation and have taken ours on holidays, flights, to hotels, cinema, theatre and restaurants etc. and only once caused a problem to people around us, that was a long distance flight with a child who developed an ear problem.
Nevertheless it wasn't beyond reasonable control for people sitting close by and we didn't get any grief for it.

My pet hate is people who say 'children will be children' which has often appeared to mean that the parents are totally disengaged.
There aren't many people who are intolerant to situations where parents are doing their best, or, who are unfeeling for children in some kind of distress.
Parents who are disconnected or oblivious are a different matter altogether.

YANBU.

And you say I'm audacious OP. Righty then. NO ONE has said that anywhere. Theyve said your Naive if you think its THAT easy to keep a kid quite. You might have missed it because its only been mentioned a few thousand times. That we ALL AGREE with you Re THESE PARENTS. Jesus wept!

ColdLightOfDay precisely my opinion too.

They are 100% in the wrong. But so are the drunks who carouse till 4pm. And the people who play their music too loudly on the bus. Or who don't clear up dog poo. People who think public spaces are just playgrounds for themselves alone. I feel for you.

If it's 7am in a hotel, you don't let your children play in the corridor. One of you gets up and puts them in front of cartoons with some juice or milk. Or even takes them out for a walk. But you don't let them make a loud noise outside. It's just selfish.

Oh so now you weren't misunderstood you were misquoted?

Can we talk about parents who let their noisy kids ruin school plays, too??!!

Fuckers!

nkf absolutely no one has said otherwise on this thread.

Arf at I'll never let my kids behave like that and as for the monsters comment. Wow. Just wow.

Actually I think its the title which got everyone's backs up. Because however you try to instil good manners, consequences etc you can never completely control a child which is what the title implied. If I could control ds I wouldn't be sat mning in the dark by his bed, that doesn't mean that when he got tetchy in the pub earlier we let him run amock, we finished off and left swiftly.

Obviously kicking the children out to play in the corridor was wrong, but the op had a general rant about the children who aren't under perfect control in hotels before mentioning that spectacularly bad piece of parenting.

monicolewinski its normally noisy parents that spoil ours!

I'm with you OP.

Several times on holiday a lie-in has been destroyed or my pool time has been ripped apart because some kids are making too much noise, splashing, swearing or running around like headless chickens. I know children should have fun and if they aren't overly noisy and are being careful and near their parents, I see no problem with it. But really, is right next to others at the pool or on the stairwell the best place? I got splashed all over by some local boys who were around 11/12 a few years ago. They were literally touching the bottom of my deckchair with their legs so they knew it was very close. My camera, glasses and towel got drenched. Some of the smaller kids are a little more cute though :)

The worst when I was pregnant though was visiting my fiancés grandmothers house. She had some of his cousins over who are bloody noisy (8 to 18 years old). When they weren't arguing with a parent or his nan or each other his nan would go out to the shops and her dog would constantly bark. No breaks at all. Literally. So if she went into town to do some shopping which she did when I had bad morning sickness the dog was in the house barking constantly. I could've killed the dog and I am the biggest animal lover there is. It just drove me crazy.

But I'm not a miserable person, honest. I sound miserable in the above things and I'm not, I love seeing young kids playing and hear little doggies having fun but it has to be appropriate and not constant and at stupid times of the day (11pm is not a time for 5/6 year olds to play swinging on banisters, no?).

But otherwise I'm sure you had a lovely holiday? Had a nice massage, a dip in the pool - I imagine it wasn't completely ruined by the children being noisy.

Soon, you'll have to put up with the extra noise for the rest of your life. Enjoy :)

I know. I was just adding my twopence.