To think that if you can't control your children, you shouldn't come to hotels?

[HomeIsWhereTheGinIs]

DH and I are currently staying at a very nice boutique hotel in the countryside. It's been a hell of a busy year and so the idea was to treat ourselves to a couple of days somewhere luxurious and to do lots of reading and sleeping. However, we're staying at a place that's converted old outbuildings into suites, two suites to a building. And the family next door have the two noisiest children on the face of the planet.

Yesterday morning we were working up by the children shrieking to one another and then for their mother (it appeared she'd pushed them out into the communal stairwell to play). A phone complaint later to reception and the noise ceased (and they glared at us every time they passed us in the hotel). But damage done, we were already awake (and given that I am exhausted all the time from this pregnancy, it was awful not being able to go back to sleep). Yesterday evening, exactly the same thing. Screaming children sent to "play" on the stairs and landing outside our room where they screamed, ran around and then got into an actual fight (complete with shouted insults and wails for a parent). It happened again this morning at 7am (there goes our lie-in) and this time the call to reception had no effect.

I'm really cross that I haven't been able to have a lie-in because of their lazy parenting. I remember going to hotels with my family when I was small and my mother coming down on me very hard when I was too loud and in danger of disturbing the other guests. They're the only children at the hotel and their running and screaming in the library yesterday was attracting frowns from every other couple there. AIBU to hate the parents of the noisy brats for being so selfish and entitled? My feeling is that when you have kids, you don't get to just ignore behaviour that might be ruining an experience for other people.

Eh?

@ Pixie

Chunderella - in this case, SN is irrelevant, because it was the behaviour of the parents that was unacceptable - they turfed their children out into the communal area/stairwell, where they would annoy other hotel guests, presumably so they themselves were not disturbed, and could have the lie-in that they denied to the OP.

Would that have been acceptable behaviour if the children had had special needs? Or if they were neuro-typical? Was it good parenting - or good manners - either way?

But there is the v obviously fact that this was not something that could happen to anyone and pare nts had no control over. They turfed their kids out into the corridor at 7am! Presumably so they could sleep. That is staggeringly selfish. Generally kids making some noise- at meals and around the place during the day can't be avoided unless adultsonly but this particular action is selfish.

My whole point here isn't to argue that children shouldn't be energetic or noisy, it's to say that if you can't keep them quiet, for whatever reason, you shouldn't bring them with you. Stay at home until they're older or teach them better manners.

Again, it comes down to the fact that we plan not to take them anywhere that we can't be sure is child appropriate until we know they can be trusted, and that we'll act to curb tantrums, not leave them to their own devices.

And we get the last laugh - we just had to grit our teeth and bear it for two nights. You have to take your children home and live with the monsters you've created them!

Rpeg the comments above by the OP is why other posters gave her the 'just you wait' comments. Everyone agrees the parents behaviour in this case was disrespectful.

But it's irrelevant. I doubt the OP would turf her future children out into a corridor and have them make a nuisance of themselves.

that isn't what she was saying YouTheCat though is it? We all agreed with her and many posters told her to complain to the hotel. She only got tetchy once someone started suggesting why they might be on there. no one is saying it is right and it is downright disrespectful to the other guests to shove them out in the corridor but calling children monsters or brats on any other thread would earn you a pasting.

MissPixie - I do not think that the OPs comments justified the smug responses she got. You know what, in the early days of motherhood I used to come onto Mumsnet and would sometimes have similar rants. I was never rounded on like posters are now.

This poor woman is pregnant. She is tired and grumpy. She has just paid for a noisy and disruptive weekend. She is hardly in the best of moods but you still feel that the best response to that is to rub your hands in glee about the monsters she'll be producing herself.

You can't say anything now without the professionally offended breathing down your neck can you?

It is fair to say that in this instance, these two children were let down badly by their parents. There is nothing to say they had special needs. They were being bloody disruptive and the OP was well within her rights to have a bloody moan about it - fuck knows I would have! It's not that difficult to do what the OP said; to bring up children with manners and consideration for others. Most of us manage it. I think the OP will manage it too.

I call them monsters and brats all the time. Shoot me.

She did qualify 'monsters' with 'you've created' - children are a product of their upbringing or lack of it .

Tbh, reading some of the posts prior to that one, I can see why the OP was getting pissed off.

Well have a go at the other 'smug' posters who actually said 'just you wait' then. Because I didn't. I jokingly saiD good luck with that to her. So maybe pick on the right person before jumping down the wrong posters neck.

What the fuck Cliff? Read it again! That's what the OP Said about the monsters comment. Not me!

You are the one on the thread justifying your response.

And I didn't say that you called them monsters, I said that I call children brats and monsters on a regular basis. All the time in fact. Terrible isn't it?

Give the woman a break. See the irony here. You made a comment along with others about her waiting until she had her own kids to deal with. Now perhaps you can see that your comment along with the other comments may have been misjudged and harsh.

The OP was also driven to impatience and she posted stuff about them being brats and monsters (which they were) and how her children would be taught manners. All quite true but perhaps she too, because of earlier responses, tiredness and being pissed off she didn't put it quite the way she wanted to.

So you criticised her in the same way that you now feel you are being criticised yourself.

I get that she was really pissed off, I think that comes across in her posts and I think it bloody minded and mean of people to judge her for that. She's pregnant ffs and probably not in the best of moods.

How exactly am I jumping down your neck?

I'm just stating a contrary point of view.

She is hardly in the best of moods but your best response is to that is to rub your hands in glee at the monsters she will be reproducing. < yes you bloody did And I'm not 'justifying MY response'. I'm explaining why she got MANY responses from a handful of other posters.

That wasn't aimed at you YouTheCat that was aimed at cliff who is cooking up things I never said.

" I jokingly saiD good luck with that to her."

"Besides that is not why people replied 'just you wait' to OP."

You are justifying their responses and admitted that you joined in with a sarcastic comment of your own.

I think this thread is winding you up far too much. The OP has long gone. We all agree that the parents of those children were out of order and that generally, in that situation, the OP was not being unreasonable.

We can all sympathise with her situation and her response. I don't really think there is anything more to say?

To be honest, snottiness with the OP was unnecessary from the perspective that not all parents DO end up with badly behaved kids who don't know how to behave in public. Obviously SN etc. aside, some parents do manage to control their children pretty much all the time, from an early age. Maybe the OP will regret being judgemental, maybe she won't...

So are you saying you never said it now then Cliff? Rightyoh then.

THANKYOU ActionA!!

I haven't read all 12 pages of the thread, but I don't think you're being unreasonable OP. I would keep calling the reception to complain at any noise that lasts longer than 5 minutes and if they don't speak with the family and resolve the problem, I think the hotel should offer you some sort of goodwill gesture e.g. a free nights stay or something for the disruption you've had.

I don't think it's on to let your children play in hotel corridors. I don't mind the odd noises here and there, but this is just rude and inconsiderate to other people.

My pleasure grin.

Or even,

Sorry, what am I saying that I never said? You will have to be clearer on that point as I'm afraid you've lost me.

I don't think OP was being judgemental. I think she was at her wits end and then someone threw in the special needs card, which was completely inappropriate on this thread.

People started getting massively arsy on this thread about this time yesterday.
I was torn between being amused and perplexed at all the hissing so I decided to go out for the evening and have loads of wine.
I can thoroughly recommend it. ( Just don't play in stairwells on the way home)