Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I report him?

151 replies

OhHellNo · 05/12/2013 17:31

Ok this is going to be a bit jumbled because I'm a bit [shocked] still but I need some advice.

I work in a public setting. There is one regular customer who happens to be outside friends with my boss also.

He drives a cab.

Today he saw me at the bus stop after work and offered to take me home. Initially I refused because I get the bus every day and it's no big deal plus I couldn't afford the cab fair for the journey and wasn't certain he was offering a free ride. He insisted saying he was heading my end of town, it was no trouble and would be free etc so I agreed.

He's a nice chatty guy. Quite a good friend of my boss and someone I've seen very regularly for almost a year now. Not some stranger. We have all socialised a couple of times in a big group too (just so you understand I felt safe etc)

So the journey was pleasant. We chatted, joked and made small talk just fine.

When he pulls up next to my house he says this "so, christmas must be expensive for single mums huh?" I agree it can be but I'm usually pretty organised and spread it over oct,nov,december so it's not such a shock. He then says "You could make yourself an extra £100 if you like? Ya know, if we pop in the house for a quickie....?"

WTF?

I laughed (nerves, shock - bloody hoping it was a terrible joke!). He said he was serious, that we were both single and I was attractive so he didn't mind....?

I told him my dignity was worth more the £100 and got out. He shouted "no offence, don't tell xxxx"

WTF do I do? Should I report to the cab firm? should I tell my boss?

What if she backs her long term friend and I lose my job?

OP posts:
nauticant · 06/12/2013 14:19

Well done OP.

boschy · 06/12/2013 14:49

second everyone else's well dones, and hope you can have a nice peaceful weekend not worrying about this little shit.

sebsmummy1 · 06/12/2013 16:29

God I totally agree it will scare the shit out of him and make him much more careful in the future. That sitting on his file it bloody perfect. Think the PCSO acted rightly outraged, good stuff xx

CoconutRing · 06/12/2013 18:19

Well done OP. I hope the PCSO had a full and frank discussion with him.

ChasedByBees · 06/12/2013 18:30

Brilliant, glad she was so helpful. :)

MirandaGoshawk · 06/12/2013 18:50

What a creep.

Hold your head up, OP.

If you see him again, please don't feel you have to run away. Look him in the eye and be cold but civil to him.

shootingstar1234 · 06/12/2013 19:18

Report now to the Police. I very rarely use Taxis for this very reason and when I do I always use the same company, who have never been anything but lovely.

mintberry · 06/12/2013 19:28

I'm late but would like to chip in with the report him camp!

He could do it to someone more vulnerable/impressionable next time who might go along with it and then regret it for the rest of their life. Also he shouldn't be able to carry on thinking this is okay behaviour!

monicalewinski · 06/12/2013 19:33

Well done OP, glad the PCSO fired you up and stopped the self doubt. And what Miranda said a couple of posts up - hold your head up and be cold, civil and look him in the eye, don't be cowed.

Dawndonnaagain · 06/12/2013 20:46

Well done, OP. You've done the right thing. Thank you.

tinypumpkin · 06/12/2013 20:54

Really glad you had a better response from the PCSO. I think you have been fantastic throughout. I hope that you are doing okay.

ToffeeOwnsTheSausage · 06/12/2013 21:03

I wouldn't talk to your boss at all. You need to keep this official, not get friendships involved.

I am really glad you did report him as initially it seemed like you were trying to minimise what he had done. Remind yourself how you felt when he said it then think whether it is acceptable or not.

If you do get any threats from anyone you must call the police. You have the right to live your life free of fear.

ShinyBauble · 06/12/2013 22:24

Well done OP. It makes me sick that there are men like this driving lone vulnerable women around.

rabbitlady · 06/12/2013 22:29

well done for reporting.

giraffesCantSledge · 06/12/2013 22:30

yay for pcso

Terrortree · 06/12/2013 23:23

That is such a difficult decision and I admire your courage. Well done you. Whilst I hope this is a one-off, I suspect that he is used to offering cash to women and the taxi driving brings him contact with vulnerable women. Revolting man. IF this is a one-off, you've taught him to be a lot more respectful. If this isn't, there's a lot of women, who will never know, that you've protected today. For that, I thank you.

Lazysuzanne · 07/12/2013 01:46

I suspect he offered you the free ride hoping it would make you feel indebted to him, what vile grooming behavior.
See's his chance and then pouncesAngry
Yuk!

I'd have been tempted to tell him that I found him so loathsome that I'd not go near him if he offered me a million pounds.

But I'd not want to risk insulting someone who felt able to take such liberties with people and would have just left the car sharpish like the OP did

Lazysuzanne · 07/12/2013 07:25

A massive fail as some cocksure man overplays his hand and reveals himself to be a total loser

frumpypigskin · 07/12/2013 08:29

Well done! that really took courage and you did absolutely the right thing.

bouncysmiley · 07/12/2013 08:40

Report him first then speak to your boss as a courtesy on Monday so she doesn't try and change your mind through misplaced loyalty.

ZillionChocolate · 07/12/2013 08:45

Well done OP. you did the right thing reporting him.

Is it likely that he'll tell your boss? You might want to get in there first. The other reason to tell her is that she's perhaps not as safe with him as she would think. The middle ground might be to tell her there's been an incident between you outside of work and as a consequence you're not comfortable being in his presence; you propose that if he comes in, you'll walk out. If she wants details give them factually and objectively.

TweedWasSoLastYear · 07/12/2013 09:11

Well done for reporting him. It was the right thing to do. You might have ended up being an unwitting porn star and put all over the internet. After a similar thing last winter I thought I was being conned by paying for bags to be carrried in the boot . I Googled ' Fake Taxi's' or something along those lines and found a horrible porn site where they film sex in black cabs.
Turns out it was legit to charge for carrying luggage ( minicabs not black cabs and discresionable ),i just hadnt heard of it before.

chirpchirp · 07/12/2013 09:17

Well done OP, so glad the PSCO help give you the courage to report.

ocelot41 · 07/12/2013 19:29

Well done OP; you never know, you may have just stopped a potential rapist in his tracks. The next time he might have decided to try locking the doors on someone...

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 07/12/2013 19:34

UANBU. Report, report, report. Don't let the slimy bastard get away with it!

Swipe left for the next trending thread