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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dp being horrible? So confused

106 replies

BadgerBumBag · 03/12/2013 11:13

Grandad has an ongoing illness and the family have been called in at 8am this morning as he has gone dramatically downhill.

Dp at home as work is slow and he has nothing planned, still in pyjamas, so when I get a call from my mum saying how bad grandad is I say I will be there shortly.

Dp is cross with me Hmm
His reasons:

  1. What if he decides he wants to do something
  2. What would I have done if he was at work? - I said I would have swapped childcare with my sister so we could both go for a short time. I still plan on taking niece off her for a bit.
  3. Why didn't I use him as plan b and try and arrange with dsis first?

I am so confused, he is so annoyed and I am emotionally frazzled. I said I am annoyed that this discussion has even happened as it is out if order.

Am I being unreasonable to expect him to just give a day up when my grandad is so ill?

Writing this crying upstairs trying to get dressed. Need some other opinions as I feel like I have done something wrong

OP posts:
Original poster
BadgerBumBag · 03/12/2013 11:14

Didn't make it clear, he will be looking after 3yo dd

OP posts:
Hullygully · 03/12/2013 11:14

he is an arse

TheCrumpetQueen · 03/12/2013 11:14

He's a selfish twunt

WidowWadman · 03/12/2013 11:14

He seems to be complete wankbadger.

TheCrumpetQueen · 03/12/2013 11:14

Is it his child?

kali110 · 03/12/2013 11:14

Im so sorry for you x

OnePlanOnHouzz · 03/12/2013 11:17

Take the wee one with you and just go - sort out his issues another day - the little one will provide a happy face for people in their hour of need ! Switch off your phone and spend the day with those you love and that love you back :-)

Calloh · 03/12/2013 11:21

He's being a twat. He's obviously feeling taken for granted in some way but that's no excuse.

He should be really happy that he is not at work and that you can therefore go and see your granddad and your family without worrying about your DD, instead of sulking.

Crinkle77 · 03/12/2013 11:21

He is being a complete twat. Can't believe he is being so thoughtless and selfish. Is he usually like this?

Ifcatshadthumbs · 03/12/2013 11:22

He is a massive, selfish arse. I can't imagine my dh ever thinking that way. He a parent not a friggin babysitter.

CoffeeTea103 · 03/12/2013 11:22

Wow how selfish is he, sorry op.
Sort it out with him another day though.

Cleorapter · 03/12/2013 11:23

He's being a selfish knob.

MistAllChuckingFrighty · 03/12/2013 11:24

Selfish bastard. I would be wondering if he did actually have something concrete planned and your Grandad's inconvenient illness has scuppered it.

Vintagecakeisstillnice · 03/12/2013 11:24

He's an arse

I'm assuming that DD is his child.
Sudden illness takes precedence over him maybe be wanting to do something. It comes across that he see's childcare as your issue/problem.

If DD is not his child again illness takes precedence over him maybe be wanting to do something. Even if DD is not his he is in a relationship/lives with both of you. What type of a twat puts them maybe wanting to do something over supporting his partner.

ChestyNutRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 03/12/2013 11:24

He's being a selfish arse Angry

I would take DD with you and manage between you and DSis and later he would feel the full force of my wrath!

Sparklymommy · 03/12/2013 11:25

Sorry about your grandad op Thanks

As for 'd'p he is being extremely twattish. Perhaps as him how he would feel if it was his family member. Please don't worry about him at this time. Focus on your family.

harticus · 03/12/2013 11:25

It is at crisis moments like this that you realise who you are actually living with.
He is a selfish dickhead.
I am sorry to hear of your granddad.

MarjorieChardem · 03/12/2013 11:26

Is he always such a selfish twat? Angry On your behalf.

Original poster
BadgerBumBag · 03/12/2013 11:26

Yep his child, who he loves spending time with so I don't get it.

Yes he is like this over minor things which inconvenience him but I didn't think he would be like this today.

I said to him I would take dd and tell my family he was busy bug he said he would look like a twat.

He doesn't seem to have any empathy at all and it comes to the fore on days like this.

I love him but this is so selfish and I think he is a knob today

OP posts:
BeigeBuffet · 03/12/2013 11:26

Op you have bigger problems at the moment go and see your gf and I hope he pulls through. Don't engage in any further argument with your husband, leave your child with him, he is an adult, he will have to deal with it. Go and put your best face on and see your gf with a smile on your face.

When you come home, play holy hell with your husband, selfish knob as he is.

Original poster
BadgerBumBag · 03/12/2013 11:27

If cats - that's what I said to him. Makes me wonder about him

OP posts:
Original poster
BadgerBumBag · 03/12/2013 11:28

Thanks all... Off to the hospital. He is still sulking. Hmm

OP posts:
MistAllChuckingFrighty · 03/12/2013 11:29

He accepts he "would look like a twat" ?

has he no emotional intelligence at all ?

no connection in his synapses between "looking like a twat" and actually "being a twat" ?

or he just doesn't care how he treats you, as long as nobody else finds out about it..

Original poster
BadgerBumBag · 03/12/2013 11:31

Yes Mist, how weird is his logic??!

OP posts:
TheCrumpetQueen · 03/12/2013 11:31

Why is he sulking? Tell him to fuck off