Christmas collection for teacher.

[sillyoldfool]

I'm sure this has been done to death but anyway...
Dd1 is in y2. An email has been sent to all patents saying there's going to be a collection for an Xmas gift from the class, we're to give £5 each. If you give a fiver they'll give you a sticky label for your child to write a message on for the card.
Aibu to think a, a fiver is a lot, there should just be a collection and people should give what they want/can afford. And b, all the children in the class should get a label, regardless of their parents contribution? It just seems a bit mean and exclusive and just not in the spirit of Xmas!
This is a state primary school btw, albeit one in a leafy, wealthy area.

Demanding that everyone makes the same financial commitment is definitely not on. It seems like the best way is that everyone gets their own presents, and then either everyone does a separate card, or a card is bought that anyone from the class can sign, no other donation needed (well, maybe 1p each to cover cost of card or something...) This doesn't seem to be happening in my DS's school, thankfully. I will be pitching at the level of selection boxes of chocs for his lovely teacher and the classroom assistants.

I think it's particularly important for the Infants (R-2 or 3) to sign something themselves, since it's then that they are actually learning to write, and it's more meaningful for the teachers.

At DD's school, class collections are banned. Some of the parents moan about it, but I think it's the best way tbh.

As a TA it is the homemade cards that mean the most- especially the ones made by the kids themselves during golden time or break time. That's when you know it comes from the heart, spelling mistakes and all

DP has been a T and now HT. the nicest gifts are a card made by a child or written by a child with something they want to say. sometimes the cards stay on our mantelpiece for months.

if your DC does want to buy a present, a chocolate bar or biscuits for the staffroom is lovely.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius - I've said it before, but all my dc's school/PTA need to do afaic is send me an email saying 'We've worked out that we need parents to support us to the tune of £x per dc annually' & I'll cheerfully send them a cheque.

I have neither the time nor the inclination for sponsored bouncing coffee mornings et al.

For those that enjoy that sort of thing, I'm quite happy for them to spend all year bouncily extracting it from one another at a fiver a time...but I'm not going to feel guilty because Toby in Class 5's mum is bouncing herself ragged & feels unappreciated.

Honestly, she needn't do it on my account. .

I think nobody should feel under any obligation to join in with this £5 card. Then what does it matter?
Does anyone really think that primary school teachers will judge the children of parents who do not contribute for whatever reason?
I never joined in with whole class teacher presents. If I thought a teacher was good I would get a gift voucher for more than £5 and if not then nothing at all.

This is horrible and I believe rather patronising towards the teacher. When I taught in an inner city college I really appreciated small thoughtful gifts the students gave me, for the most part bought from their Saturday job money. The notes that go with these gifts is the best bit.

One year I was given a shalwar kameez made by one of the girls with material and accessories provided by the rest of the class. I wore it to the college dance. Priceless!

My point is that it is the children who matter and the lovely gestures they make, donations from well off parents don't mean much.

This happening in DS's class as well - he is in P1 and a parent has taken it on herself to organise it. It's a £5 a head to buy vouchers. Not sure what sort of vouchers. I don't agree with it as my Mum was a P1 teacher and she said if the kids gave a present it didn't matter what it was how much it cost or whether it was complete tat it was about the pleasure the kids got from giving it. I had already got something for DS to give the teacher so I said thanks, but no thanks.
There has been no further communication so I have to presume I have offended.
My Mum also said she was aware that as a teacher she was probably paid more than many of the parents and would've felt really weird getting vouchers for over £100 like she was some sort of charity case.

tobias - I doubt that you've offended anyone (why would it?), just that if you aren't joining in with the group present then there isn't anything to communicate with you IYSWIM.

YANBU. £5 is a lot to ask, and a "class present" should either be from the whole class or not at all. I think a teacher might well prefer a card from everyone than a present from half the class, leaving out the rest.

RavenAK, are you me?

I don't see the problem. If you don't want to contribute then just don't contribute and send your own card. I'm always grateful when someone organises a collection like this as there are sometimes two teachers and a TA to buy for and I would never manage to get anything decent if I were to spend £5 on presents.

I'm a teacher too and whilst any gift or card is lovely I certainly don't expect anything and wouldn't judge anyone who didn't give me anything.

What an odd idea! Never heard of this, thank goodness. And who on earth are these self appointed "class reps"??

The class reps at our school are elected by the parents and take part in a forum within the school to feedback parent views on various topics (lunches, changes to school uniform etc.) to the HT.
They sometimes offer to do collections for the class too. Sometimes I join in, sometimes I do my own thing. As all the classes have at least 3 adults working with the children, trying to spend less than £5 total on 3 people wouldn't go very far without inundating them with tat. If my DCs have an idea for something they want to make themselves, then we go with that idea instead of joining in.

And BTW I have honestly never come across anyone demanding anything - they are usually simply invite other parents to get involved and TBH it seems to be a thankless task.

5 pounds is a bit pricey. When one of my son's teachers was getting married it was 1 pound donation and the idea would be to get gift vouchers.
One year my sons made name bracelets out of a load of plastic beads for the teschers. His school teacher was presented with a bracelet with Miss SausagesTeacher on it and she was thrilled to bits!
Hopefully we'll remember cards this year (I found the teachers cards at the bottom of their school bags last year )

My point is that it is the children who matter and the lovely gestures they make, donations from well off parents don't mean much.

I agree that it's the children that matter, and the gestures they make are lovely, especially when they have chosen to get something completely random but they have their own little reason for wanting to get that thing.

But I completely disagree that donations from well off parents don't mean much.

Any gesture of appreciation and thanks means a lot to the teachers and staff that I work with. We are there for children first and foremost, but children aren't a completely separate entity from their parents, and it's nice to know that parents appreciate what we do for their children as well.

It doesn't make any difference whether the family is well off or not, they are all equally valuable members of the class, and what all of them think matters.

I would never be so ungrateful and rude as to believe that a kind and thoughtful gesture means nothing just because a family can easily afford it, whether it be a small individual gift or part of a collection.

what's a class rep? Sounds utterly ghastly whatever it is.

I am working on stollen for this year. Will hopefully take it in warm on the day I pop in to do my regular volunteer slot.

Class reps. It seems strange that some schools manage so well without them? I had never heard of them till mumsnet and it struck me as an odd thing. We have a pta to organise stuff for fundraising etc, and a weekly newsletter by email or paper version to all families in which requests can be made for volunteers and anything the school needs.

Anything that the parents of an individual class need to know about goes home on separate letters to the parents.

What no one has mentioned so far is that while £5 might not seem a lot of money, the collection turns the gift into a value that should probably be declared for income tax purposes (£150 per year, twice a year?). Whereas all the little £3 and £5 presents do not.

And to those who have commented that you would end up spending a fiver on individual pressies anyway, well those who have 2, 3 or 4 children in a school can send something joint for the staffroom if they wish, rather than be expected to chip in a monetary amount for each child.

Teachers say over and over on these threads that they prefer a handmade card and gift over everything else, so why do people persist in this collecting for larger value, non-personal gifts .