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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In wanting to take a breastfeeding baby to Chelsea flower show

252 replies

roweeena · 01/12/2013 09:38

I was just about to book tickets to Chelsea flower show for my mum and sister as an Xmas present but I have just noticed that no under 5's allowed and no buggies.

I will have a breastfed 7month old who I will not be able to leave at home. I'm happy to carry in a sling - would I really be banned??

Does anyone else have experience of this - I'm shocked that children aren't allowed to be honest. Do you think they would make an exception for a breastfeeding baby?

My other son was a bottle refuser so I haven't tried with this one yet (can't be bothered with thefaff) so I doubt that leaving him with dad and a bottle will really be an option

OP posts:
HelloBoys · 01/12/2013 16:56

Oh and yes YABU.

IamInvisible · 01/12/2013 16:57

It is a non-work case. It clearly states breastfeeding is protected for 26weeks in non-work cases.

soapboxqueen · 01/12/2013 16:57

Ha!

No. It's just covered twice. At the time they said there was no need to explicitly state that bf mother's could not be discriminated against because they were covered under sex discrimination but they did it anyway just to make it super clear.

Retropear · 01/12/2013 17:02

The mother can go.

Plenty of women bf at 7 months and go to work.

It's the baby that can't go just the same as ff babies.

Feed in the morning.Feed on return,cup feed in between,hardly an issue.Hmm

Plenty of time to intro a cup.

Caitlin17 · 01/12/2013 17:03

Doyoulikemybaubles you are correct about this being unhelpful to promoting bf.

Talkinpeace · 01/12/2013 17:10

Quick question to all those ranting about "breast feeding rights"
have you been to Chelsea?

I went many times before having kids
since then I've been to Hampton court a couple of times and love local rare plant fairs
but WTF about the "right" to go to Chelsea
you need to read less OK magazine and go look at your garden at this time of year

(am waiting for my currants to drop their leaves so I can prune them)

SheffieldSal · 01/12/2013 17:36

Here's a novel idea OP. Just don't go. The CFS isn't compulsory. You might just survive without it.

PoshPenny · 01/12/2013 17:53

I went years ago pre children. I think you would be ABSOLUTELY MAD to take a baby there under any circumstances. the place is packed out, absolutely heaving so you walk along at a shuffle. I could hardly see a thing for all the other visitors there. virtually impossible to sit down, goodness only knows how you would feed your babe without getting sore as a result.

forget about any discrimination issues arising from their banning of under fives, you would have a lousy miserable day if you took your baby along. just defer going until the year after when you presumably would be able to leave your baby for the day.

Motherinlawsdung · 01/12/2013 18:06

Do they allow wheelchairs, as a matter of interest?

fluffyraggies · 01/12/2013 18:07

Go next year OP.

As far as 'if babies can't go then it isn't safe for anyone' ... Confused

There are lots of places which are deemed unsuitable for very young children and babies on the grounds of safety, or unsuitability that could potentially also be an issue for an elderly/infirm person, but the choice has been left to the adult elderly or infirm person to make for themselves.

This just isn't an issue. These places don't need to be micro-managed for all.

Do we really want to live in a world which is so smothered by health and safety that all events are either a no go for any human beings at all, or has been made 'safe for all'.

I forsee a world with all 'attractions' behind glass walls. No crowds. No smells. Rubber floors. Bright lighting. The whole environment man made and man managed. Nice and safe. Ugggh.

AuntieStella · 01/12/2013 18:27

"Do they allow wheelchairs, as a matter of interest?"

Yes; fully accessible: remember it's in the back yard of the Royal Hospital, and as well as partying guests, all residents can visit the show at any time. Many opt to go outside the ticketed hours, because it is such a crush these days. It 's not a hugely fun visit any more - the site is too small and the amount they try to pack in just doesn't work, and inthe last 4(ish) years,
iCal residents complaints are on th up too.

Seriously, if you want a good RHS show, swerve and go to Hampton Court.

Original poster
roweeena · 01/12/2013 19:05

OMG what have I started!

Not read it all as have two DC under 2 yrs (and not enough time) but will read it all during a night feed no doubt.

Some heated debate, a few patronising posts and one which called me entitled!!! But really glad I started it as I really didn't realise chelsea is so hectic and busy (doesn't sound that good to be honest from what people have reported)

Tickets booked for Hampton - thanks xx

OP posts:
QuintessentialShadows · 01/12/2013 19:10

A young child wold be utterly bored at the Chelsea flower show.
It was lovely, and busy, and few facilities, but I would not take the kids. Not really many plants for sale either when I was there. I few specimen plants, and quite pricey.

I recommend the shop at Kew Gardens, they have a good selection of plants, bulbs and seeds. Smile

Quoteunquote · 01/12/2013 19:11

Op I have take breast fed babies to Chelsea, as they were stuck up my jumper and I look particularly dangerous, no one ever said anything to me,

Until I read your thread I had no idea it was an issue,

I only assume that either no one noticed, or were to scared to tackle me.

MrsLouisTheroux · 01/12/2013 19:29

Far too busy for babies in a sling or a buggy, BF or not. Why anyone one would want to take a baby or a child under 10 to Chelsea flower crush I have no idea. I'm assuming that they won't have changing facilities either which is fine as they have made it clear that no U5s are welcome.

catellington · 01/12/2013 19:47

I have been to cfs several times. I bf a bottle refuser

It is Nowhere near as bad as the underground where everyone is welcome. If someone chose to take baby in sling it would be no problem. Not up to anyone else to judge if baby tired etc. you could say that about babies in pushchairs crying round the shops.

Soapbox clearly understands how to interpret legislation

In my opinion the most shocking thing I've read here is that bf mothers are only specifically protected by the equality leg until 26 weeks. Not sufficient.

Regarding employment law and bf - this is also insufficient and the reason I had to leave my job. Many things in our society are very unsupportive of bf.

Sallyingforth · 01/12/2013 19:55

roweeena I'm so glad you have booked for Hampton Court. You will really enjoy it!

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 01/12/2013 20:03

I think breast feeing campaigns have done amazing on getting laws passed enabling women to breastfeed where babies are welcomed.

I think it undermines the work put in when people want special treatment because they breastfeed.

As a parent you do miss out things, it's part of the parcel of being a parent.

soapboxqueen · 01/12/2013 20:07

catellington thank you. I thought I was losing my mind there.

Mothers are specifically protected until 26 weeks as a function of maternity and pregnancy being a protected characteristic.

After that it is as a special characteristic of being female. The only exemptions are if there is a significant risk eg radiation or if a place/charity/church etc is exempted until single sex usage eg a men's shelter.

Employment rules are slightly different.

Something I learned today is that if a bf mother was discriminated against a companion could also claim discrimination by association. So if a bf mother was forced off a bus then a traveling companion could claim too.

Learn something new and all that.

VivaLeBeaver · 01/12/2013 20:16

It'll be because its so crowded and buggies aren't very visible in crowds. Wheelchairs are different as the person is higher up, more easily seen.

We have a very crowded Xmas market every year in our city and I stupidly took dd many years ago. We left after thirty mins and in this time at least ten people had gone flying over the pushchair. (Wed have left sooner but it took that long to fight our way out).

Talkinpeace · 01/12/2013 20:19

bf mother was discriminated against a companion could also claim discrimination by association
if a bf mother was forced off a bus then a travelling companion could claim too.
are you a lawyer?
as only a lawyer looking to make money out of such pettiness would think it a good thing.

FFS get yer boobs out and embarrass anybody who makes you move, do not waste your or taxpayer funds "claiming " about such things

CrockedPot · 01/12/2013 20:26

Chelsea is fantastic, not horrendous at all. Go to Hampton roweena , and buy your pants, leave the lovely wandering about amongst beautiful, impractical gardens and flower displays to the people who have arranged childcare/got no kids.

soapboxqueen · 01/12/2013 20:29

Why does sharing information mean that anyone is it to make money?

I thought it was interesting because I didn't know that it was possible.

if you don't like the law I suggest you lobby your mp and not complain to me about it.

catellington · 01/12/2013 21:40

Grin love the pants autocorrect for the second time this thread!

catellington · 01/12/2013 21:54

The law doesn't just provide for claims for financial compensation.