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AIBU?

In wanting to take a breastfeeding baby to Chelsea flower show

252 replies

roweeena · 01/12/2013 09:38

I was just about to book tickets to Chelsea flower show for my mum and sister as an Xmas present but I have just noticed that no under 5's allowed and no buggies.

I will have a breastfed 7month old who I will not be able to leave at home. I'm happy to carry in a sling - would I really be banned??

Does anyone else have experience of this - I'm shocked that children aren't allowed to be honest. Do you think they would make an exception for a breastfeeding baby?

My other son was a bottle refuser so I haven't tried with this one yet (can't be bothered with thefaff) so I doubt that leaving him with dad and a bottle will really be an option

OP posts:

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Sallyingforth · 01/12/2013 15:40

roweena I think your question has been amply answered by people who have been to Chelsea and know what it is like. I hope you will decide to take your mum and sister to Hampton Court. Not only is it a better (in my opinion) flower show, but it has every facility for children and babies, however they are fed.
soapboxqueen you really must learn to listen.

soapboxqueen · 01/12/2013 15:40

There is a difference between maternity and sex discrimination though. Maternity allows you the right to breast feed up to six months.

Feminine · 01/12/2013 15:40

Some Mothers need to realize that not everything is suitable for children.

Not talking about op ...just in general. :)

Some adults don't want children all over the place/underfoot.

They are allowed some life and peace...

Gileswithachainsaw · 01/12/2013 15:41

They should also provide free child care for all the single parents or wives/husbands of people who can't get time off work to go. All the food should be dairy/soyer/egg/gluten/seed/nut free and be vegan just so no religions or allergy/intolerence sufferers are unable to eat and the whole evernt should be free as so many people now are so poor that the ticket prices discrimate against them too.

Caitlin17 · 01/12/2013 15:46

Still waiting for Soapbox to say if she thinks no event or place should ever be allowed to exclude under 5s but if they can how the bf exception she wants will be checked and exercised.

soapboxqueen · 01/12/2013 15:48

Then Sally you really must learn to read. I disagree with you and don't think that discrimination should be tolerated because it seems reasonable or folk can't be bothered to rethink a situation. That doesn't mean I don't understand what you and others are saying. I just happen to think you are wrong.

The rule disproportionately affects bf mums. There really is no good reason for it unless the organisers admit that their show is dangerous for all of their visitors which I doubt it is.

I dare say they decided to bar younger children for the comfort of not only the children but other visitors. That is absolutely fine but there is no reason why a babe in arms could not attend if older children can. Therefore the bf mother will also be able to attend.

I doubt a frail 95 year old would fair much better in the scrum of looking at flowers but they are not banned.

Sallyingforth · 01/12/2013 15:51

That's just the point isn't it Caitlin. Breastfeeding must be accepted in public places as the normal state, not as an exception that marks it out and attracts attention.

Gileswithachainsaw · 01/12/2013 15:51

No, but they would probably have the sense not to go.

The event will exclude more ff feeders and poor people than breast feeders. It's for sod all to do with how the babies being fed and everything to do with expecting your baby to take priority over everyone and everything else and twisting every situation to prove it.

soapboxqueen · 01/12/2013 15:53

Hmmm let me think. Obviously because I disagree I must be a wreckless fanatic

There are obviously situations where equal opportunities have their limits especially where the adjustments would be unreasonable. However, I cannot see where any adjustments would be unreasonable in this case. Allowing a small baby to be carried around is not an unreasonable adjustment.

If areas become so crowded that people are shoved and pushed then the organisers need to be limiting numbers for everyone's safety.

Sallyingforth · 01/12/2013 15:53

Yes all right soapbox. You are quite correct about Chelsea (even though you haven't been) and everyone else is wrong. Goodnight!

IamInvisible · 01/12/2013 15:58

This is from the glossary of terms on the Equality Act 2010 from the EHRC website

Breastfeeding

When a woman feeds her baby with breast milk. Breastfeeding is specifically protected for the first 26 weeks after birth by the pregnancy and maternity discrimination provisions in relation to non-work cases.

I think that even if the OP wanted to pursue discrimination, which in my view it is not because you have to be allowed to BF somewhere where a baby is allowed and in this case it is not, as the baby would be over 26 weeks she would not win any how.

Caitlin17 · 01/12/2013 15:59

Sallying um, no you've completely missed my point. At the turnstiles BF and FF feeding mums turn up with babies. Both are told sorry, you can't come in. BF claims I'm a BF and according to Soapbox that should get her in. How is the person on the gate supposed to check this?

Maybe it'll be like at gigs where you don't get in with recording equipment. At any event which bans under 5s you'll still get in despite having an under 5 as long as you don't have a bottle of formula.

soapboxqueen · 01/12/2013 15:59

Sally I'm still waiting for an explanation of the dangers for a carried babies that isn't also a danger for other visitors including slightly older children, the sick, the infirm and the elderly.

Or does it just say 'fit and able between 18 and 60' on the door.

soapboxqueen · 01/12/2013 16:01

Caitlin they wouldn't have to ask if a baby was ff or bf. They would both be let in so as not to discriminate against one.

Gileswithachainsaw · 01/12/2013 16:03

soap

If anyone fell and pushed you over of course that person would be hurt regardless of carrying a baby or not. But not everyone else would land flat on concrete on top of their baby in a sling.

Caitlin17 · 01/12/2013 16:09

Soap but that's not what you were arguing. You were saying this discrimates against bf mothers.

Now you are saying all mothers (or is it all parents? I'm not clear what your take on dads is) should get in.

So to get back to my question every thing , every where, should be child friendly and child accessible at all times?

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 01/12/2013 16:09

Sick and infirm people don't tend to want to go to busy crowded events, that's not discrimination either.

Legally, it's not discrimination to exclude under 5s and I doubt that the CHS admission policy is the reason why women choose not to breast feed.

Again I say there are more important battles to be fought, surely.

Sallyingforth · 01/12/2013 16:10

caitlin what I was saying is simply that breastfeeding should be accepted universally. There ought never to be any need to make special exceptions to permit it.

Gileswithachainsaw · 01/12/2013 16:13

And how would you prove the baby was under 1? What about the sibling? Twins where the mum can only carry one but can't have a buggy?

How, with such things as weight brackets (one persons 1 year old might be the sane size as someones 18 month old and fit in same sling) and with corrected ages for prem babies. How the hell do you enforce it

Farahilda · 01/12/2013 16:13

"If areas become so crowded that people are shoved and pushed then the organisers need to be limiting numbers for everyone's safety."

They do. By limits on ticket numbers and by active stewarding during the event.

I'm guessing - but I think OP cannot have been to CFS before and has no idea of how crammed it gets.

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 01/12/2013 16:15

There's a severe lack of common sense in this thread, and it's not coming from Caitlin and those putting across the same points.

You can try to pin it as indirect discrimination all you want, it isn't. If it was a wine show soapbox would you be coming out with the same things? Because surely if your points are valid it wouldn't matter the occasion or venue?

Caitlin17 · 01/12/2013 16:15

Sallying that's not what's being discussed here, other than the OP is in fact looking for favourable treatment of BF mothers over any other parent who might fancy attending a no children event but can't, for whatever reason leave the child.

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Sallyingforth · 01/12/2013 16:16

Completely OT, but UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea
I LOVE your name

Talkinpeace · 01/12/2013 16:17

oooh, must go to Chelsea while Soapbox and her ankle biters are still excluded

Caitlin17 · 01/12/2013 16:20

It is a great name. Also OT but what the hell is an" unexpected item in the bagging area"?

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