In wanting to take a breastfeeding baby to Chelsea flower show

[roweeena]

I was just about to book tickets to Chelsea flower show for my mum and sister as an Xmas present but I have just noticed that no under 5's allowed and no buggies.

I will have a breastfed 7month old who I will not be able to leave at home. I'm happy to carry in a sling - would I really be banned??

Does anyone else have experience of this - I'm shocked that children aren't allowed to be honest. Do you think they would make an exception for a breastfeeding baby?

My other son was a bottle refuser so I haven't tried with this one yet (can't be bothered with thefaff) so I doubt that leaving him with dad and a bottle will really be an option

[janey68]

And finally... If anyone were really daft enough to kick up a stink about this with the CFS, all they would need to do is provide a place which meets certain criteria to enable the bf mother to have her child brought to her for feeding. They would not have to allow the bf mother to walk around the show with her child. I suspect at this point, anyone militant enough to be pushing the case would realise that they'd still need a babysitter, on call, outside the show, ready to pop in and out with baby... And if they had any sense they'd realise a babysitter back home would be far simpler!

[shrunkenhead]

I thought you were buying tickets for your mum and sister for xmas, so you don't need to go as well! The child is 7 months, can be left withsomeone for a few hours, can now eat solid food, ok so you're a breast feeder collect your badge/trophy and accept not everywhere welcomes kids.

[shrunkenhead]

How about a special pass for bfers so they can go wherever they want, because, after all, they are entitled.

[Ham69]

My goodness Shrunkenhead, you don't sound at all bitter.

[Sallyingforth]

Shrunkenhead please don't criticise the OP. She's gone away happy.

It's the person up on the soapbox who keeps making all the fuss.

[UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea]

Just to be clear:

Reserving the right to refuse entry to under 5s = legal (and usually done for sensible reasons)

Reserving the right to refuse entry to (e.g.) black people = illegal

I will personally match the compensation award made to anyone by CFS, O2 Arena, Royal Albert Hall or the 1000s of other events/venues which routinely exclude under 5s, to anyone who brings a successful discrimination case against them in relation to breast feeding mothers. I feel that my money is safe though.

[HelloBoys]

OP - you DID come off as being very entitled. sorry. I am not a mother but your first few posts you totally were not listening and seemed to think you had a god given right to go. That to me = entitled.

I don't often label people and this descended into a H&S/legal nightmare from someone else but I've been to Chelsea, know the scene (tightly packed, a nightmare at the best of times). what's more I work in a law firm so if you, your darling baby etc were to be crushed or you tripped and fell you'd probably land a lawsuit against RHS Chelsea. but then again you aren't entitled and wouldn't listen until later on in the thread

Also, and I hate to come across as mean (a few other people stated this) but what gives mothers the absolute right to demand they and their babies attend each and every event? I don't mind if you breastfeed, indeed don't mind babies (like them actually) but it seems if you DO NOT allow babies, kids under 5 etc (who let's face it can be testing at the best of times and by their parents' admissions too) to each and every event the company or other people are seen to be old stick in the muds who detest children. Do you not see that just sometimes we want peace and quiet not having to worry about possible cries etc?

oh and OP hope you enjoy Hampton Court! seriously now.

[roweeena]

Chill out hello boys my first few posts were when I was mightily pissed off that the fantastic present for my mum and sister had been ruined by 'elf & safety'. I have since posted a couple of times thanking people for their advice and now booked a much more appropriate day - so it has all worked out fine.

I'm not entitled, I'm a frazzled mum of two with an 8 week old 'darling' (as you so pleasantly put it) trying to buy an Xmas present! I still haven't bothered to read the whole thread because it seems to have turned into some crazy bunfight - but bloody leave me out of it!

Your right you do come across as mean

[DoYouLikeMyBaubles]

The OP has been fine IMO. :)

[DoYouLikeMyBaubles]

Sorry OP, didn't realise yours was the last post and spoke as though you were the cats mother! I don't think you've been entitled to be fair.

[janey68]

I think in your later posts you came across as very reasonable OP. though I'm a bit confused now as you say in your OP that you'll have a 7 month old who can't be left and yet it now sounds like your baby is only 8 weeks! A lot can happen in that time OP- your 7 month old will probably be perfectly happy to eat some solids and drink ( bm or whatever) from a cup by the time the show comes round

[Sallyingforth]

I stood up for you roweeena!
I'll be at Hampton Court so if I see someone BF'ing a 7 month old I'll be sure to say hello :)

[MidniteScribbler]

BF is protected by law where children are allowed to attend. So if children are allowed to attend the flower show and the mother tries to feed, she cannot be told to stop. That does not necessarily mean that she is allowed to actually take the child in to the venue in the first place. Ergo, she is not being discriminated against because she is not being told she is not allowed to breastfeed. If she's still breastfeeding her six year old, then she can go right ahead and if told to stop she can then claim discrimination.

I really fail to see how this is such a difficult concept to grasp?

[caramelwaffle]

It's not Midnite You have explained it quite perfectly.

I look forward to the Erotica exhibition returning to London Town.

Let everyone and and ankle biters in, eh?

Free buckets of Common Sense over there >>>>>

[janey68]

A lot of people still seem to be missing the point though that a venue is under no obligation to allow a bf mother to wander around with her baby. If this were actually an issue for the Chelsea flower show, presumably they would simply need to provide a discreet place for the bf mother to feed.
The mother would then have to make arrangements for someone to care for the child outside the show and bring it in for feeding. Which would be likely to be far more hassle than simply organising a babysitter at home and leaving a cup of milk!

Providing facilities for a bf mother does not mean having to allow access anywhere as some people seem to assume. When I returned to work, I was provided with a room to express milk, and I could have opted to have my baby brought there for feeding if I'd wanted (though actually my baby was perfectly happy to drink it from a cup at the childminders) It doesn't mean id have been allowed to wander around the office with my baby strapped to me all day!

[Crowler]

ok so you're a breast feeder collect your badge/trophy and accept not everywhere welcomes kids.

This did make me giggle.

[Caitlin17]

Janey most people weren't missing the point. Soapbox and a couple of others were insisting that because the venue doesn't allow under 5s that is discriminating against breast feeders as it means they can't attend.

Crowler I think the comment was made in exasperation at Soapbox's determination that bf right to override any other considerations such as age restrictions, trumps everything.

[OddFodd]

Soapbox's utter conviction that she understands equality law is a bit frightening

[janey68]

I agree - its not most people, but there does seem to be a strident minority that honestly believe having a bf child allows you access to anywhere, and they also seem to wear it as a strange badge of honour that their children are unable to drink from a cup or bottle in addition to the breast

[roweeena]

Janey - as a mum of one DS who was a bottle refuser I definitely didn't see it as a badge of honour I saw it as a complete pain in the arse that I had to do every single feed including every bedtime & night feed massively limiting my ability to go out and live my previous life. I also spent a small fortune on boob shaped bottles and became a neurotic nightmare when I had to go back to work. This time i can't be arsed pushing the bottle as I don't go out anymore anyway!!!

I never thought I could come across as a smug type because of it - I always thought the other mums pitied me a bit!

[Nancy66]

I went this year and it was horribly crushed. I hated it and had to get the hell out of there. I really wouldn't want to take a baby - even if it was allowed.

[janey68]

Cup cup cup! It's the way to go! A bottle probably seems strange for a baby in that its more similar to the breast whereas a cup is totally different so there's no 'confusion'
A 7 month old should definitely have no problem drinking from one. Sorted!

[roweeena]

Ha Janey, you never met my DS! I also spent money on trillions of cups, nuby, doidy, sippy. - it was truly painful! He eventually drank milk from a sippy cup 2 weeks after I stopped breastfeeding him at 13 months - he was is. stubborn

[janey68]

Yikes!
Don't assume your next child will be the same though ... It must be pretty exceptional for a 1 year old to not drink from a cup. The vast majority will and certainly do if they're thirsty.
Sounds like you had a particularly difficult child OP. I don't think the critical posts are about your position per se. It's more the militants who decide front when their babies are a few weeks old that they will never ever drink from anything but the breast and also think they are entitled to go anywhere with their child which just ain't true!

And I say that as a firm believer in bf, I fed mine until well over a year but made sure right from the outset that if I wanted to go somewhere unsuitable for children, they stayed with a babysitter and a plentiful supply of bm

[janey68]

Decide from when