Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In wanting to take a breastfeeding baby to Chelsea flower show

252 replies

roweeena · 01/12/2013 09:38

I was just about to book tickets to Chelsea flower show for my mum and sister as an Xmas present but I have just noticed that no under 5's allowed and no buggies.

I will have a breastfed 7month old who I will not be able to leave at home. I'm happy to carry in a sling - would I really be banned??

Does anyone else have experience of this - I'm shocked that children aren't allowed to be honest. Do you think they would make an exception for a breastfeeding baby?

My other son was a bottle refuser so I haven't tried with this one yet (can't be bothered with thefaff) so I doubt that leaving him with dad and a bottle will really be an option

OP posts:
bumbleymummy · 01/12/2013 10:27

My youngest didn't have a bottle - he went straight to a sippy cup at around 6 months (hadn't tried him on anything else before that). I never gave him one myself but he would take one from DH if I was ever late home from somewhere.

nancerama · 01/12/2013 10:31

My DS was a bottle refuser. I figured that as women in my family all live to be well into their 90's and beyond, putting less than 1% of my life on hold and avoiding some events until he was old enough to be left wasn't a big deal.

Sallyingforth · 01/12/2013 11:06

If you haven't already been to Chelsea it's difficult to understand just how crowded and busy it is - you just get swept along with the general movement. I think you would find it very difficult to stop and rest with a baby in a sling, or find somewhere still and quiet enough to feed. And the public transport to get there and back wouldn't be very comfortable either.
Much better to go the Hampton Court as others have said, particularly if you can go on a weekday. Although it is also busy there is plenty of space to get out of the crowds when you need to. And there is actually more to see than at Chelsea.

FredFredGeorge · 01/12/2013 11:09

The vast majority of 7mo old babies, (including most bottle refusing ebf ones) will be quite capable of spending 5 or 6 hours away from the mother - drinking expressed milk from a cup/beaking, eating regular food etc. My DD didn't drink from bottles was exclusively bf, but 6 hours away from the breast was common for us by 7 months.

Yes there'll be some who may not be able to, but for very, very optional things like Chelsea, there's no reason to expect them to make allowances for those few. YABU

Caitlin17 · 01/12/2013 11:13

I don't understand the outrage that no children under 5 are allowed. For goodness sake, it's not intended for children, they'd be bored, the poster who has been there has explained why it wouldn't be suitable.

To be honest the assumption that everywhere must accommodate children annoyed me more than the Flower Show excluding them.

K8Middleton · 01/12/2013 11:17

I did Hampton Court flower show with a baby of a similar age in a sling. I fed him in the sling and it was fine.

I think there may be issues with the Chelsea rules because they are indirectly excluding breastfeeding mothers of small babies which is unlawful. I doubt it has even occurred to them though in my opinion they should know this stuff. Health and safety seems a bit of a cop out when you have very old people wobbling about with sticks and other people quite rightly allowed in who would pose a greater risk than a babe in arms.

K8Middleton · 01/12/2013 11:19

A blanket rule like "no under 5s" is just lazy.

Sallyingforth · 01/12/2013 11:27

Some very silly comments on here.
I can absolutely guarantee that anyone saying children should be allowed into Chelsea has not been there, except perhaps on a preview or press day.
If you had been there you would understand why there is a rule - to prevent children being trampled underfoot.

Caitlin17 · 01/12/2013 11:29

Oh for goodness sake the world does not revolve round your children.

As at least one poster has said it's an event primarily attended by and aimed at adults.

The point about indirectly excluding bf mothers is irrelevant in the context of an event which has an age restriction. Many events do.

BobPatSamandIgglePiggle · 01/12/2013 11:49

'having a baby means i can't attend' what utter rubbish - don't be so silly!

K8Middleton · 01/12/2013 11:51

There's quite a big difference between a babe in arms and a toddler or older and no more danger of a baby in a sling getting trampled than the mother.

Seems a bit of a leap to presume that anyone saying the blanket rule is unlawful or unreasonable thinks the world revolves their children isn't it? Fwiw I love a bit of child free time and carrying a heavy 7mo round all day isn't my idea of fun. But the point isn't about what I would do go to Hampton Court it's about whether Chelsea are being reasonable. Which I would suggest they are not.

scaevola · 01/12/2013 11:53

CFS really isn't a children's event. Hampton Court would be a much better bet.

OddFodd · 01/12/2013 11:54

I wouldn't take a baby to Chelsea even if I could - it's way too small and crowded. Hampton Court is a lot more relaxed

Gileswithachainsaw · 01/12/2013 12:00

Yabu. It's no kids for a reason. If they started allowing slings then next step up is toddlers in slings and back packs.

It's not like you turned up having paid and they refused entry. You are fully aware of the no kids rule and have the choir of get a baby sitter or don't go.

Every parent has to make sacrifices regarding where they go when they have children. It's the way it is so I don't get the surprise. It's not "no to YOUR baby" it's "no, to ANY baby" bf or otherwise.

NurseRoscoe · 01/12/2013 12:10

I wouldn't think it would be unlawful to exclude babies who are exclusively breastfed. I'm no expert but I would think that because it's not an essential place to be like a doctors surgery or supermarket or something, like another poster said lots of events have age restrictions such as pubs, certain films at the cinema etc. If they hasn't stated no children were allowed and the mum turned up and was told she wasn't allowed to breastfeed then that's when it would become unlawful

K8Middleton · 01/12/2013 12:18

The question of lawfulness is about whether the mother is excluded from a service because she cannot take a tiny breastfeeding baby. Afaik it hasn't been tested so is not established law but it is an interesting question.

Children under a certain age (18 I think but haven't double checked) are excluded from age discrimination protection. But I wasn't talking about age discrimination against children, I was talking about indirectly discriminating against nursing mothers in the provision of services.

sulkymonkey · 01/12/2013 12:19

they make it quite clear so I think its fair

K8Middleton · 01/12/2013 12:20

By the way, children under a year are excluded from cinema licensing restrictions.

SconeForAStroll · 01/12/2013 12:20

Honestly, even in a sling the chances are you would be deeply uncomfortable. The crowds are often 40+ deep, there is quite a lot of pushing and there are very few places that you could stop for a sit down let alone a bf.

I say all this as both someone who bf'ed for bloody years and someone who has visited Chelsea on more than ten occasions - it really really isn't a relaxing day strolling around - even more so if it is inclement weather.

NurseRoscoe · 01/12/2013 12:21

Could you not just try a bottle before buying the ticket?!

scaevola · 01/12/2013 12:22

"By the way, children under a year are excluded from cinema licensing restrictions."

Only if the cinema consents, and runs a club (such as The Big Scream), which provides exemptions for members' babies. You can't just rock up to any 12, 15 or 18.

Caitlin17 · 01/12/2013 12:26

NurseRoscoe exactly what you say. No under 5s is discriminating against any parent of either sex who might want to attend and can't for whatever reason get a sitter. There is no issue. I've never been to Chelsea Flower Show I do however go regularly to the Royal Opera House in Covent Garden. They don't allow under 5s either. And it's not different, it's simply events which would bore small children rigid in locations without children's facilities and where the presence of small children may very well detract from the enjoyment of others.

soapboxqueen · 01/12/2013 12:49

I think a few people are missing the point. it's not about if the event is suitable for a small child, the ability of parents to find alternative care, the likelihood of a child being able to eat or have alternative foods or missing out on an activity.

Breastfeeding mothers are given special protection under the law because it is not as easy to leave a breastfed child. It hasn't been challenged legally so it will continue until somebody does.

Gileswithachainsaw · 01/12/2013 12:53

Yes but ff babies aren't allowed either. It's not a bf thing at all.

And tbh someone else's child care issues aren't their problem. They simply don't want the danger of damages or of a small child getting lost and the fact that there arebt the facilities to feed small children. There would soon be uproar if they were allowed to go and it turned out there were only a few very busy toilets and no where to heat baby bottles or baby food etc.

Gileswithachainsaw · 01/12/2013 12:56

Many places discriminate against people who don't drive by being in the middle of no where. Not everything is about pissing people off and excluding them.

My problem I don't drive and can't get there.
My problem if I can't get a sitter