For losing it on DDs teacher when her part in the school play was given to another child when she was off sick for two days?

[Insolence]

At the start of November DD was given a great part in the school play. They have been rehearsing for almost five weeks. Last fri and mon I kept her at home to recover from a cold. When DD went into school on tues she was told by the form teacher that the girl who had stood in for her had learned her words beautifully and would now be doing half the performances... They are doing the play next week. DD was distraught and came home in floods of tears. She doesn't have lots of confidence and getting the part had been a massive boost. After sending a stinky email to the school I went in and spoke to the teacher who thought it would be kind to share the part out, and said they weren't sure when DD might come back to school. DD feels very betrayed and is worried about whether she is any good at the part. She's wondering if they will decide to give the rest of the performances to someone else who fancies having a go. And to top it off, the child they gave it to is DDs arch enemy (if it is possible to have an arch enemy at 6yo...). I lost it with the teacher. They couldn't understand why I was so cross. Starting to wonder if I have over reacted. DD says she just wants her part back.

Don't bash me (cowers)

Knottyknitter, shimmying camels I can understand, but how does a squid fit into a Nativity play?

It's a 'love actually' quote. Emma Thompson's daughter says she's playing 2nd lobster in the nativity this year and Emma queries that there were two lobsters present at the birth of Christ?.

I really have seen no stroppy teachers here working, just you getting unduly arsey at Feenie's observations of your posts. Did she hit a nerve?

Oh how ridiculous a deletion can you get. I said I have no issue with eofa thinking op was (a certain word). I mispelled it accidentally as on phone. Corrected it next line. Just with the very small no of teachers who are disrespectful on line. Apparently that's breaking talk guidelines these days.

Feenie, saying I am teacher bashing because I take issue with a very tiny minority is similar to saying someone hates all men because they disagree with men watching porn. It's the behaviour and attitude I take issue with, which I have repeatedly said I believe is
uncommon among teachers.

My mother is still teaching. I've no issue with the fact I respect her opinion and experience in forming my own views, strange others would think I should.

The issue she has with teachers arguing about the 'need' for the holidays is like saying that teachers are more delicate/important/stressed than others in high stress public facing jobs:
A and E staff
Emergency services
Social work
Etc

I would never in a million years advocate a reduction to school hols as kids need them. I see this as I work in schools. They're a nice perk for choosing the profession, not designed because teachers 'need' them. No issue with any teacher thinking from week 2 of term roll on the end of term. Teaching can be immensely stressful and is definitely so in this current climate. I hate Gove, I think you are all being disrespected and see the impact in terms of morale, will vote accordingly.

I just don't like posts that make out these tiny things are worthy of sneering and derision. It looks unprofessional. I work in schools where it would be a welcome change to have a parent give two shiny shits about their child. The real stresses I see for teachers in schools are being expected to be psychologist, social worker, nurse etc to deeply troubled and disadvantaged kids, being threatened and screamed at by violent parents who could do serious harm, not being allowed to teach kids with no functional skills what they need and simultaneously being bashed because the children don't progress in the same way as middle class kids etc. Many many issues....

I feel the import of that is undermined by the very small number of teachers who post about unacceptable and unprofessional attitudes in this forum. Would be very different if not addressing parents and naming as a teacher.

I'm signing out now because I've said that clearly several times. If you miss the point and call that teacher bashing so be it. Never realised people bore grudges about posters' opposing views over many years where there are maybe five or ten threads where this has even come up out of hundreds posted where the majority, as I've said, were on entirely different topics. Some people lead very small lives indeed.

And the nerve she hit was that she'd carried a grudge from threads that in the main were maybe 2-3 years ago. It's quite unsettling when you rarely post on something to realise someone has been bearing a grudge about your opinions for years.

I read it more as an observation rather than the bearing of a grudge. The teacher bashing that goes on on this forum is the reason I rarely post anymore. Depressing and predictable.

To be absolutely fair working, I would not recognise your name and associate it with teacher bashing.

I haven't a grudge at all - but I have noticed that tend you pop on teacher bashing threads quite often to sneer.

In this case, I thought it was misplaced and that you took advantage to jump in and do so.

I don't think you are being unreasonable I think the teacher didn't make the best decision at all. The arch enemy needs taking out of the situation. Get your daughter to sneeze all over her! Problem solved!! Or you could buy her a pair of roller skates as an early Christmas present.....

Feenie, I bit and did what you asked and searched my name + teacher

What I found were primarily lengthy conversations about language, literacy, differentiation, the impossible job teachers have to do, progress monitoring, the statementing process, SEN provision etc... plus about two similar to this where I was irritated by much what I've said irritates me here. One, for example, tearing a parent apart for wanting squash in her kids' water bottle because he suffered migraines and wouldn't drink water. I know there was one where I got cross about kids with SEN having all intervention work carried out by support assistants with no class teacher supervision (secondary) but I can't find it.

Other than those I couldn't see this teacher bashing you speak of. Some Gove/NC bashing, yes.

The only thread I could see us both on was where I was saying I think teachers do a massively important job but saying hols unpaid vs benefit in kind made it sound as though other professionals worth 20% less. Just an opinion.

It has freaked me out to have my name responded to in this way as it is so little of what I post. I mainly post about OCD (as a service user) and autism (giving professional hand holding where I can), sometimes about literacy and language (my day job) and the usual 'last 15 mins' or pregnancy.

Jeeze, I hope that teacher reports you to the HT and refuses to meet you on her own. That's what I'd do if a parent 'lost it' with me about something so petty.

It seems only fair (at 6yo) that if there is more than 1 performance other children get a chance at the parts too. That way all the children can be included.

i will io against the grain i think the teacher was a dick unfair . Your dd had been working on the role for 5 weeks ,the other only 2 days .it was nt a big favour she did, she would have enjoyed it ! Presumably when you sang io pick you told then it was just a cold. How would the teacher like it he she found out someone had replaced her because she had been off 2 days ?

i don't think it's petty at all, it's pretty mean and weird to do this after just two days off.

This actually reminds me about the patent who went ballistic and threatened to 'get me' because her darling wasn't an angel in the nativity (Y2). Her little darling had cried endlessly when I suggested any part in the play! Eventually, after much cajoling and confidence building my TA and I managed to get her to agree to be the star (who just dressed up and stood in stage) on the agreement that she could back out at any point.

Thought I'd done a good job getting her to agree to a part, apparently now according to her mum.

I find it fascinating that people live so vicariously through their children's eyes. We just get up, go to work/school come home and live our lives. I am presumably an extremely bad person because I am so glad to live in an Islamic country and not have the faff of plays to bother with any more, not because of the kids but the endless drama llama mummies.

nah, op is not a drams llama (whatever that is, are llamas particularly dramatic?) some posters on this thread are definitely a bit dramatic with their opinions though!

It's a school play not A Levels. I am married to a headmaster and he agrees that the staff room thoroughly enjoy dramas like these.
It is absolutely weird to get so involved in a 6 year old's life. I get that if they come home upset you deal with it but not take it quite so personally.
Agree that the teacher should not have to deal with an aggressive parent alone.

Something similar happened to my dd op, at the time i was pretty upset, really it's the injustice of it that really rankles.

My dd was fine, it was just a small blip in a lonnnggg school journey, that is FULL of blips.

I think you need to sort things out with her teacher, tell her you think its unfair but you've got too involved.
She will understand, i have watched intelligent, assertive grown women cry in the playground because there dc has been, left out/upset over the most ridiculous things. The school playground can be a very difficult place for everyone when it involves so much emotion & love for your dc.

No teachers I know judge and do really understand how highly strung it really makes ALL Of us at times. The teacher will appreciate it.

You're going to have to endure lots of injustices in your dd's school life, I recommend that you try to stay calm and give yourself a couple of days to reflect in the future before you send emails etc.

Your dd will be ok, but you need to try to seperate how YOU feel from how dd feels. If you tell her it's ok, she will be ok.

Good luck, I suggest you actually bake a pie and take it to the teacher on Monday, then she will share it in the staff room and they will all laugh and share stories from the past and it will be done.

Working - completely off topic but what do you do that supports children with autism and literacy? Are you an Ed psych? I was initially looking at Ed psych training but not sure about uprooting is all to train. I'm interested in other avenues though.

Sorry to say it but you've pretty much got yourself a reputation as 'that' mum at your DD's school now.

lots oe posts on here about what the staff room thinks ? Why would you give a stuff what they think ? (unless you are very insecure)

Nobody likes to be a figure of fun and a room full of people chortling over you means you are probably being unreasonable

So much misunderstanding.

I'm tired of reading posts that indicate that the original post has not been read...or maybe not understood

It also concerns me that teachers would actually laugh about a parent in the staff room! that nugget has actually made me want to back off from doing anything to help my children's school at all!

Yanbu - except with the losing it part.

However I think if the part was a big one they should have had a stand in from the beginning or shared it from the beginning to allow for illness.

I guess a 6yo could have an arch enemy if the said girl is constantly goading her DD. Imagine being a 6yo girl, off school for 2 days so already having that settling in period where your not up to scratch on latest friendships, dramas etc! To then have a girl constantly telling you they are sharing your part because they were so good after 2 days when she's been rehearsing for 6 weeks.

Our school always do shared parts so that more children can be involved. The cast swaps over between the first and second half . Sounds like an ideal solution to me

I haven't read the whole thread but OP i can understand where you are coming from. I did not have much confidence at school and I was given a part in a play which was then shared with someone else. I ended up dropping out as I felt like I was not good enough and the other person was better than me.