For losing it on DDs teacher when her part in the school play was given to another child when she was off sick for two days?

[Insolence]

At the start of November DD was given a great part in the school play. They have been rehearsing for almost five weeks. Last fri and mon I kept her at home to recover from a cold. When DD went into school on tues she was told by the form teacher that the girl who had stood in for her had learned her words beautifully and would now be doing half the performances... They are doing the play next week. DD was distraught and came home in floods of tears. She doesn't have lots of confidence and getting the part had been a massive boost. After sending a stinky email to the school I went in and spoke to the teacher who thought it would be kind to share the part out, and said they weren't sure when DD might come back to school. DD feels very betrayed and is worried about whether she is any good at the part. She's wondering if they will decide to give the rest of the performances to someone else who fancies having a go. And to top it off, the child they gave it to is DDs arch enemy (if it is possible to have an arch enemy at 6yo...). I lost it with the teacher. They couldn't understand why I was so cross. Starting to wonder if I have over reacted. DD says she just wants her part back.

Right. As I said on another thread, I don't like to share too much on the Internet, but just to help you get off your teacher bashing high horse, I'm not a teacher. And I still think parents like the OP are tossers. which I can talk about anonymously on an Internet forum without compromising my "professionalism", presumably .

@ working.

Sigh. I'm not teacher bashing. But whatever. You call OP a toaster as much as you like eofa... No issue with that. Just the precious teacher posts. While again pointing out I believe only a tiny minority of teachers are likely to ever name themselves as teachers and then whinge about parents and kids online.

I'm so on the fence I've got splinters in my arse. My grown up head says YABU, it's only a primary school performance, it doesn't matter yada, yada, yada. But ...

When I was at primary school I was one of three fairies in our Christmas play. We had proper ballerina type dress and my one even had sequins on it. SEQUINS!!!!!!! Except on the day of the proper performance one of the other fairies got there before me and took MY dress and said it was hers. I was heartbroken. Her one didn't have sequins. My teachers and my mum did the whole 'it's only a dress, you've still got one, the show must go on, don't worry about it' rubbish. They didn't understand that it mattered. It really mattered. So much so that nearly 40 years on that's the only thing I remember from my time at the school

Haha bashed a bit too hard there, eh working?

I'm always really shocked too by the teacher comments on threads like these. Just give the OP a bit of calming and sisterhood fgs, that's all it needed.

Sisterhood? For somebody who sends "stinky emails" and "loses it on" somebody trying to do a hard job? And encourages her DC to think a hysterical reaction referencing betrayal and arch enemies to having to share a part in a school play is ok? Come on.

Your mother has been a teacher for the past 38 years and doesn't understand the need for the 6 week break-for children, not teachers.

Has she been a teacher for the past 38 years or retired for the last 10?

She feels that teachers stating the stresses of the job undermines the profession-really? As a trade unionist?

Yeah, unconvincing...

I see. So now you were teacher bashing because it's justified because of your mum, yadda yadda. But then you weren't

It's really easy - if you don't want to be accused of teacher bashing, don't do it. Simples.

Sisterhood? I have a dd. If she reacted in such a manner I would be reassuring her and explaining that I still thought she was wonderful and that we would all be seeing her perform shortly-how exciting. I would certainly not be dwelling on the awful teacher and shared part nonsense.

Lost it?youve been inappropriate and emotionally incontinent
I imagine the teacher just has to do the face,and think you're one of those parents

You can't have understudies from the beginning when they are 6. Being an understudy I'd worse than not having a role at all. I should know. I was the perpetual bloody understudy and I hated it then and resent it still, 35 years later.

is, not I'd, clearly.

"Losing it" could just mean having a slightly terse few words. It doesn't mean there was a full scale rant with tears and violence. And "arch enemy" just means someone she doesn't get on with - it's the exaggeration of the year 1 child. I think I missed the stinky email part. The OP is here to get it off her chest and still has an upset child to deal with. I think the whole situation was poorly handled and have some sympathy, and it would be helpful to focus on how she can best help her dd brush it off. That's all. What always astounds me is the vigour of the response to threads like this, clearly there is stuff going on it staff rooms that has passed me by all these years. That's the more worrying part.

YABU and need to apologise to the teacher.
Your dd will come across lots of unfair situations in her life and as many disappointments.
It is up to you as a parent to teach her how to overcome these situations. I know she is only young but if you put things into perspective for her and let her know its not a biggie in the scheme of things, she will be on her way to be able to cope with future disappointments.
There may be a good reason or several why the teacher has done this and you went steaming in without considering these, by the sounds of your OP.
Teach her its kind to share, and also for her confidence, the teacher thought she was good enough to begin with when she gave your dd the part. Maybe she can take this time to become friends with the girl instead of arch enemies. Some good could come from this.

Oh dear god,one would only use terms arch enemy and lost it if one were over reacting

Or if one were referring to Batman and the Joker, scottishmummy...

Op,have a big think.stop being one of the bulgy eyed pushy mums
For your sake
For your daughter

YABU
Same happened to us a couple of years ago. Dd off I'll for 3 days, when she got back her part was reallocated, no sharing parts or anything. I thought it was a shame but fair enough. DD was miffed for a day but then fine. We all lived and nativity was great. I think you are taking it way too seriously!

Your name will be 'arse' in the staff room unless you do something about it pretty quickly.

It takes enormous amounts of time and energy to organise a nativity play, and people like you certainly do not help.

Still remember the miserable cow teacher who said I couldn't be an angel after ONE day off for a cold. Admittedly I was indeed tinselled up for the show as one of the host.

Did the arguing myself (aged 6 too) though. Mum would have been just as happy to see me as a villager/squid number 2 etc.

Am I the only one wondering why it took her four days to recover from a cold? OP what's your daughter's attendance like? That could tell you why they shared the part.
(I'm a drama teacher - we would always have a stand in for kids who had ropey attendance just to make sure there was someone on the stage!)