For losing it on DDs teacher when her part in the school play was given to another child when she was off sick for two days?

[Insolence]

At the start of November DD was given a great part in the school play. They have been rehearsing for almost five weeks. Last fri and mon I kept her at home to recover from a cold. When DD went into school on tues she was told by the form teacher that the girl who had stood in for her had learned her words beautifully and would now be doing half the performances... They are doing the play next week. DD was distraught and came home in floods of tears. She doesn't have lots of confidence and getting the part had been a massive boost. After sending a stinky email to the school I went in and spoke to the teacher who thought it would be kind to share the part out, and said they weren't sure when DD might come back to school. DD feels very betrayed and is worried about whether she is any good at the part. She's wondering if they will decide to give the rest of the performances to someone else who fancies having a go. And to top it off, the child they gave it to is DDs arch enemy (if it is possible to have an arch enemy at 6yo...). I lost it with the teacher. They couldn't understand why I was so cross. Starting to wonder if I have over reacted. DD says she just wants her part back.

feenieis and Silverapples-couldn't agree more.

Perhaps this is a 'never the twain shall meet' moment of some parents vs the reality of schools/teachers and classes of 30 children that teachers care for equally.

Whilst wearing skis!!

Sometimes you have to remember the truly surreal parts and laugh hysterically. Otherwise everything stops being fun, and the stress smothers you.

So a part that required 5 weeks of rehearsal had to be filled by a child with no prior experience of that role, and she managed to do it well - so well, in fact, that it was deemed appropriate to reward her hard work by sharing the remaining performances between her and the original cast member.

Why is this not ok? Your child was off sick. Someone else needed to play her role. YABVU.

Oh, and a 6 year old with an arch enemy? Seriously?

It's the same in secondary but we have it at different points in the year, such as when everyone thinks their child belongs in set 1 inspire of overwhelming evidences to the contrary

Inspite

Evidence (needs to stop drinking, clearly!)

smite you huh? The show hasn't happened yet. The child missed two days of school during which there was some rehearsal time. Rather different.

And yes, 6 year olds have arch enemies. Much more often than adults do in fact, because they are 6. My 6 year old has a 'bestest best friend ever in the whole wide world' and a 'worstest, nastiest enemy ever in the whole galaxy.' They'll probably switch places next week!

They'll probably switch places next week

hmmm, this is why, perhaps, teachers (having seen this week in week out, year in year out) place less emphasis on 'arch enemies' that parents!

a 'worstest, nastiest enemy ever in the whole galaxy.'

What do you mean you lost it? What did you say/do?

I can't imagine many parents, even imaginary MN parents, being actually thrilled their DC's part had been half given away, despite the pious Pollyannerisms about how OP should be 'glad someone else got a chance to share the part'

On the other hand 'losing it on the teacher' sounds undignified and will have won OP no favours.

And it seems rather an odd decision for a teacher to have made; perhaps a little more time should have passed before she halved the part.

Therefore my opinion is that everyone's BU!

If the part was so critical that an understudy was required after 2 days missed, then there should have been an understudy from the start. I think it was very poor practice to have done this and naive of the teacher to fail to anticipate the upset it could cause. Perhaps the OP was a little OTT but to dismiss it as being of no consequence, as some posters have done, is nasty.

Ah Feenie. Fairly sure you can read... and count.

You misunderstand my so-called teacher bashing. My mother has taught for 38 years and my viewpoint is massively coloured by hers on this. She really despairs when she hears of teachers laughing about parents and kids online and indeed, arguing about the stresses and strains of the job and the 'need' for the holidays etc. A long time trade unionist, she feels it undermines the professionalism and dedication of the majority and contributes to public ill will when it's really needed e.g. when governments such as this one undertake policy measures that are harmful to the day to day functioning of schools.

Laughing about something with teaching colleagues in the staffroom is one thing. Making snide comments about banning parents, the insanity and 'shite' parents 'cause' teachers etc really doesn't reflect well. Find a teaching forum to get out all that angst if you must.

Not how you see things, I appreciate... but I doubt my mother is alone in her views. I don't like to see health visitors, midwives or doctors or any professional use public fora in this way. You don't have to agree with that.

Back to your hilarity about the emergency camel eh.

Back to your hilarity about the emergency camel eh.

You have your mother's point of view, fair enough. But was this really necessary??

Nor was it necessary, working, to come on here and outright lie about what had been said. You still haven't retracted your statement that "lots of precious teachers" were suggesting that the ops daughter shouldn't get another part, when in fact one poster said that and was immediately told she was bu.

I'm sure that extended productions are on the way out, the curriculum is now so crowded that it will be unjustifiable to waste so much time rehearsing.

I can't imagine many parents, even imaginary MN parents, being actually thrilled their DC's part had been half given away

Really? I can't imagine giving that much of a shit about this, as long as the DC still got to have a go.

I'd give a DC of mine the very reasonable explanation and encourage them to take the disappointment on the chin, while being understanding of it. Certainly not kicking off at a teacher and encouraging the DC to take it to heart.

The child was ill for four days, the weekend was obviously not enough recovery time and she needed the Monday off as well.

Yes. Outright lie.

Oh the insanity we put up with.
Oh all the shite we have all year.
Oooh OP what should I look out for in an arch enemy in my classroom?
I am so glad I don't have to deal with THOSE parents anymore.
There are teachers who cry and are devastated because of parents like you.

And many more.

Again, no issue with teachers. Just the precious ones. Thankfully I believe the majority wouldn't write like this online, being highly qualified professionals more interested in and proud of their role in education than laughing at parents and children.

For some reason, the idea it might not be wonderfully professional to laugh about children and parents online is rambling with a few of you.

Rankling

I would be really upset. But I wouldn't let my daughter see, and I wouldn't criticise the teacher. It is a lesson, for your daughter and for you. Life won't always be fair for your dd, and although 6 is young to learn this in such a way, it isn't too young.

I don't think the teacher handled it particularly well - she should have communicated with you I think when your daughter was off first day. But that is life, teachers aren't perfect, and they do actually have a really difficult job to do, and sometimes they don't make the perfect decision.

we are talking about a primary school christmas play and not hollywood aren't we?

one years, dd's class was hit by a vomiting bug, out of 30 only 16 made it in for the performance, they had 15mins to double up on lines each.

Was it necessary for Feenie to call me a teacher basher and suggest googling my name plus teacher (which incidentally reveals about four threads on baby names at the top of the list and only a very few controversial ones?).

It's bad MN form to carry grudges from threads from long ago, you all know it is.

While you all tear strips off each other, scoring points, can I just say:

"Will nobody think of the children??"