For losing it on DDs teacher when her part in the school play was given to another child when she was off sick for two days?

[Insolence]

At the start of November DD was given a great part in the school play. They have been rehearsing for almost five weeks. Last fri and mon I kept her at home to recover from a cold. When DD went into school on tues she was told by the form teacher that the girl who had stood in for her had learned her words beautifully and would now be doing half the performances... They are doing the play next week. DD was distraught and came home in floods of tears. She doesn't have lots of confidence and getting the part had been a massive boost. After sending a stinky email to the school I went in and spoke to the teacher who thought it would be kind to share the part out, and said they weren't sure when DD might come back to school. DD feels very betrayed and is worried about whether she is any good at the part. She's wondering if they will decide to give the rest of the performances to someone else who fancies having a go. And to top it off, the child they gave it to is DDs arch enemy (if it is possible to have an arch enemy at 6yo...). I lost it with the teacher. They couldn't understand why I was so cross. Starting to wonder if I have over reacted. DD says she just wants her part back.

Poor teachers-you wonder why they bother!

Apologise to the teacher. We really don't get paid enough to be treated in such a shitty way. Christmas shows put a lot of extra strain. As an earlier poster said you will be the talk of the staff room.

I feel really sorry for the teacher but you probably will be the talk of the staff room.

I am a teacher. We get, and expect, this sort of shite behaviour from parents all year. Sports day, assemblies, nativity, school trips... Some parents act like this no matter what you do.

Luckily we dont go to work to please those parents, we turn up for the kids. All of them, not just yours. Some of us have thick skins, some of us cry when you have left after your rant. Some of us go home or to the pub and moan about you. Can you understand why?

You should apologise to that teacher, as you have behaved more childishly than any six year old I have ever taught. No one should have to put up with abuse at work and you need to have a good long think about your attitude and what you would like your daughter to ber like when she is an adult. Would you be proud to raise a child that kicks off with people who are doing their best in a tricky situation?!

eofa1 yes you're right that this doesn't have a long-term effect on a teacher but, it certainly can have a very upsetting short -term effect!

I have been on the end of loony parents accusing me of utter nonsense on a couple of occasions and actually, it stays with you for quite a while. It's horrible. Truly.

While OP you seem to accept that you have over-reacted on this issue, have you considered the effect of you outburst on that poor teacher?

Sadly, our Heads of Year have to field phone calls from crackers parents all the time.

So your dd had two important days rehearsal off in the run up to the play , and you didn't send a message to say don't worry dd will be back on Tue. Teacher therefore rehearsed in another child who diligently learned all the lines.

When the teacher decided to divide out the performances, your job was to say cheerily to your dd ' you'll get a chance to see the scenes you are usually in, it's great that someone else is getting a bit of a go, bad luck you were ill these things happen, can't wait to see your performance!" I. E you are the grown up. You help your dd by teaching her resilience, not chucking all your own toys put the pram.

Of course it's an ok thing to do. The other girl stood in for her so they are sharing the part. You lost it on the teacher?
You would be banned from my school and a sure fire way to ensure your spoilt child is never selected for a part again!

Oh dear, I really couldn't imagine kicking off at something like this so early on in my child's school career.

Don't think though that kicking off is the best way to behave at any stage of my child's career!

Yabu but they should have shared the main roles from the beginning to avoid this sort of behaviour

Maddy, I don't think the child is to blame in any way, and I'd be furious if any teacher in my school punished a child because they had an unreasonable parent. That is indefensible.

Apologise and take some chocolates. Say your having a hormonal day or something or you will be labelled!

I agree but teachers won't out themselves through that again whether it's fair or not! I wouldn't !!

You may just have tarnished your relationship for good with the school.

Well, we certainly know where a talent for drama comes from!

Have some smelling salts to go with the grip you need off Santa.

OP - Apart from ranting at the teacher, I think yanbu. Of course, as others say, you could have sold it to your dd that its kind to share but I'd be annoyed on dds behalf. The teacher should have read the part. And 6 year olds can have enemies.there are some very socially adept and unkind little 6 yr old girls who If so inclined can make life unpleasant for more sensitive children.
Dranksangria - are you a man? I was just about to give an anecdote from my life and you just described it. When I was 12ish I got a main part in treasure island. My mum then took me off for weeks so of course the part was given to someone else, that's fair enough, but in an assembly I was in they congratulated him for saving the day and got the whole school to clap. I shrivelled up with shame, it wasn't my fault I was taken out of school. Never forgotten that feeling.

The Op admits she over-reacted, but it does seem a little odd that a child who has rehearsed a part for 5 weeks is part demoted after 2 days' absence when they knew it was just a cold she had. It is odd as well that the job-sharing came in as a policy part-way through. I can entirely understand why Op's DD is upset (and that the choice of that particular girl seems to rub salt in the wound as I am sure the Teacher is aware of the clashes between them). Yes, the Op seems to have made a fool of herself, but, IMO, the teachers is sounding a bit irrational and rather tactless, too. I wouldn't shout at any teacher but, I have to say, I would query it, if such a decision was taken after all that work by my DD, especially if confidence issues were involved.

Well, on the off chance you hadn't already realised… you are being very unreasonable OP. This level of intensity wrt something like a school play is not OK.

Salvage your relationship with the school by getting yourself in there early and apologising profusely on Monday morning. And next time you feel you have beef with the school, make sure you check in with a partner or friend before you go in there angry.

Well, we certainly know where a talent for drama comes from!

Hahaha!!

Sigh. "teacher is", obviously.

And, yes, some 6 year-olds can be very nasty others, especially girls, and any good teacher would know the dynamics of her class.

Ha! Mamma!

I don't suppose she'll be offered any significant parts for a few years at least, so at least that's one less thing to worry about in future.

Hmmm - before you eat too much humble pie Op have a look at this:-

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1096147-I-am-so-angry/AllOnOnePage

The mum refused a compromise of them sharing the part, insisted on meetings with the head, wrote to the governors, threatened to go to the papers and withdrew all three of her kids from the (private) school.

And we all cheered her from the rooftops!

My DD is a teacher and all I can say is thank god your DD isn't in her class, also kids don't need time off for a frigging cold