For losing it on DDs teacher when her part in the school play was given to another child when she was off sick for two days?

[Insolence]

At the start of November DD was given a great part in the school play. They have been rehearsing for almost five weeks. Last fri and mon I kept her at home to recover from a cold. When DD went into school on tues she was told by the form teacher that the girl who had stood in for her had learned her words beautifully and would now be doing half the performances... They are doing the play next week. DD was distraught and came home in floods of tears. She doesn't have lots of confidence and getting the part had been a massive boost. After sending a stinky email to the school I went in and spoke to the teacher who thought it would be kind to share the part out, and said they weren't sure when DD might come back to school. DD feels very betrayed and is worried about whether she is any good at the part. She's wondering if they will decide to give the rest of the performances to someone else who fancies having a go. And to top it off, the child they gave it to is DDs arch enemy (if it is possible to have an arch enemy at 6yo...). I lost it with the teacher. They couldn't understand why I was so cross. Starting to wonder if I have over reacted. DD says she just wants her part back.

What exactly do you mean by 'losing it on the teacher'? Did you shout / cry / swear?

Erm... A whopping over reaction on your part OP. Your dd was sick, the other girl learnt the lines, the two girls are sharing the part, they both get a turn. It is understandable that the teacher wanted a "back up" plan in case your dd was sick again.

Do you realise OP that you will now be the talk of the staffroom? What exactly does "losing it in the teacher" mean? I suspect that you will become the parent that others get measured against in a "well that new parent can't be as bad as..."

You need to do some damage limitation and quick. A big box of chocs and apology for teacher on Monday might help.

And an arch enemy.. At six. Please.

Blimey....So delighted to not be part of the teaching profession. Must be hard to have a parent 'lose it' at you for organising a Christmas play not to their absolute requirements.
Glad you are going to apologise....hope your daughter is unaware of you 'losing it' at teacher.

I used to work at a school where we'd be lucky to get 30 parents turn up to a parents' evening. Out of the whole school.
The upside was that you didn't have this sort of problem either.

This has to be a fucking wind up.

It may be, but I have had personal and extensive experience of parents who would behave like this over a lot of issues, from nativities to swimming.
So she might well be speaking truthfully and from the heart.

Are your ears burning?
The staffroom will have had a field day.

Many years ago my son was given the part of Joseph in the school nativity. A few weeks before he came down with tonsillitos and had to have a week off school. The part was given to another boy and my son sat and sang with the rest of the class.

He was a bit disappointed but it didn't ruin his life and I didn't feel the need to kick off with the teacher

Yes, I know exactly what you mean and agree this sort of appalling attitude is depressingly common. Just the really melodramatic talk of "betrayal" and "arch enemies" kind of led me to hope it might not be serious, and somebody hadn't actually been abusive to a teacher over it...

To silver.

Wow! You have some serious apologising to do.

The teacher made a very good call in a tricky situation. She cannot have known when your DD would be back. She was right to recognise the effort of the girl who stood in.

She absolutely did not deserve to get any aggro from you.

I think you will find that chocolate flavoured humble pie goes down well with teachers, OP

Well, shit happens and most teachers are tough enough to stay detached and analytical.
I'd be more bothered about the effect of having a parent over-reacting and emoting all over the place on the understanding of a Y1 child.
When upsetting things happen, children need a grown-up to help them make sense of things, and to give them a sense of proportion and to cheer them up. Which this little girl appears not to have.

Jesus wept!

I put a joke thread on here last year about my dd only being an angel.

I didn't think parens actually lost their shit about this stuff.

You need to apologise.

Oh op what a fool you have made of yourself! YABVU and you owe the teacher a massive apology.

I was a pirate in Treasure Island, and the understudy to yer main man.....the main man was off for the 3 weeks prior to the big night, she came back the day of the show.

I didn't die.

At least on MN you can namechange to get over yourself OP. The only person your child has been betrayed by is you. By the dreadful role model you have been in this instance, and by keeping her off school "getting over a cold" in the first place, which is what has caused this calamity. You should be apologising to the teacher, the other child, and your own.

Agree again Silver. I don't think teachers should have to put up with abuse from demented parents, but do feel sorry for the girl in question. She is going to grow up with some warped ideas about appropriate responses.

Meant to say... Don't think teachers should have to put up with abuse from demented parents, but it is sadly part of the job and most are not going to be affected in the long term by it.

I can understand that your DD was upset as she felt that something had been taken from her but it was your responsibility to support her and reassure her that she had done nothing wrong and help her make sense of the situation.

The schools approach seems rational and in the best interests of both girls.

'Arch enemy'! How is that even allowed? These girls are 6 years old.

My DD is Mary in this year's nativity. She only got the role because the original Mary cried and said that she'd far rather be another role. My DD said 'I'll do that thing...whatever it is..' There was a bit of discussion between staff, when DD approached them and said 'you know that thing...whatever it is...I will do it, you know.'

There may well be parents who feel it's unfair, because DD is from the 'wrong' class. Joseph is from her class so Mary was meant to be from the other class.

I was a bit embarrassed when I heard, but the teacher's view was that she earned the role by having the gumption to offer her services (twice!).

I hope other MN's read this and then hopefully come to realise the sort of insanity teachers have to deal with.

Hear hear hollow!

Hollowgallows-I was thinking the same. All the threads about what an easy job it is...try organising the infant nativity!

Major over reaction I think - it sound like your daughter is upset because she is picking up vibes from you. Sorry but you do need to get a grip - you may be turning into one of 'those' mothers!